night of the splitting

On the seventh night of Pesah, at the Kotel, I heard a derasha from Rav Ades. He was speaking about making oneself holy. Out of everything he said I took away two major points: 

(1) The more we awaken the different levels of our soul to Godliness, the more effect our prayers and Torah have on all the levels of our soul.

(2) In order to overcome obstacles in arousing oneself to prayer or Torah, one needs to draw the flames of Torah down into the deepest recesses of oneself.

These aren't exactly the things Rav Ades said, but this is the best understanding of it I could grasp. I've been trying to implement these teachings in my daily Tanya study. (I normally learn the daily Tanya lesson twice each morning) The first time through the daily lesson, I intend to awaken my soul as much as possible until even my toes want to be involved in the learning. The second time through, I learn with a fierce fire and passion to burn the words deep into my heart.

Rav Ades explained also the idea that the splitting of the sea was only in the merit of Yosef HaTzaddik. He said something to this effect, "Imagine, as the result of one man's holiness, the whole Jewish people survived and escaped."

being the voice of the universe

Imagine every single object in your periphery declaring that HaShem is One all at the same time. Your desk, computer, chair, telephone, wallpaper, floor, door, assorted books, cups, etc. (Anyways, you get the idea.) That is what happened on Har Sinai -- only it wasn't just everything talking to you -- everything was talking to all 600,000+ of you at once, telling you all in no uncertain terms that there is only one God, HaShem. That's how the Tikkunei Zohar describes it. (it's quoted in today's Tanya, the 22nd of Adar) Imagine your own body telling you, your hair, everything. 

It seems to me that the beauty of HaShem's world is this: On Har Sinai, the whole world spoke up and told us that HaShem is One. From that time on, it is our job to give voice to the whole world, to unite HaShem's name in the world and proclaim HaShem's One-ness in the name of all the world.

How is it that we can give voice to the world? The Talmud explains that mankind is called the challah of the world. Challah is a special offering, a small quantity of any dough that is prepared is given to the Kohanim and is attributed Holiness, Kedushah. In a way this is similar to the kedushah of other such tithes, ma'aser or terumah, or even the first fruits and first born. What it means is that mankind represents the microcosm of the macrocosm. 

Another midrash describes a similar idea by saying that in order to create Adam, the first man, HaShem gathered dust from the four corners of the world. Astronomers and science fiction writers take great pleasure in pointing out that most of the heavier elements that make up the world around us, including our bodies are elements that were forged in the hearts of stars in the early universe. I don't think they've ever equated these two ideas from these two vastly different frames of mind. Adam's body [and soul too] was created from a gathering of a little bit of everything created. 

There are other midrashim that hint at the same idea, one example equating different parts of the human body with different animals, etc. Other parshanim explain (as we've mentioned in the past) that the Mishkan was a microcosm of both the world, and the human body, implying that the human body is a microcosm of the world. The Tikkunei Zohar goes into this in depth, explaining the metaphor pertaining to the various major organs.

In short, we here today, each one of us, is a microcosm, gathered from the furthest reaches of space and time, heaven and earth. We are the true testament to HaShem's Oneness. If HaShem wasn't One, how could a little bit of everything created be brought together into a single creation. 

On Har Sinai the whole world proclaimed it for us, just to bring the point home. Today, it is our job every time we say Shema Yisrael, (2 (3^*1) times a day) to embody the whole world, as its representatives.

HaShem Elokeinu HaShem Echad - Hear O Israel, HaShem created and sustains everything in creation, HaShem is One.

The whole world waits every morning and every evening to hear us proclaim this deepest truth, to fulfill its deepest purpose, to bear witness to the oneness of HaShem.^*2

This is also a good kavanah to have when you recite Perek Shirah, that all the animals of the world are waiting to praise HaShem, but they need you to give voice to their prayers.

notes:

*1 We say Shema Yisrael in the morning and evening prayers, and we are meant to repeat it (a third time) on our bed every night before we sleep.

*2 The Ramhal in his Da'ath Tevunoth explains that the whole purpose of creation is to make us aware that HaShem is One.

joined at the hip

Whenever you catch yourself looking at someone and thinking "Thank God I don't have that problem," or "Thank God I didn't have to go through that," you're missing the point. All of Bnei Yisrael are connected one to another. Their pain and suffering, is your pain and suffering.

This is something that, at least for me, takes a lifetime to master in a manner that is productive. If this thought causes you overwhelming depression, you aren't thinking about it in the right way. It is important to remember that along with this terrible burden comes a wonderful reward: All of their success and happiness, is your success and happiness. 

As long as we look at someone else and feel a comfortable disconnect, we are hiding from ourselves.

Radical Torah Judaism

From my vantage point here in Jerusalem, I see the Jewish people and how much compassion they truly have, so much in some cases, that they are more worried about harming those who would harm us than they are about their own safety. In other cases, people (sometimes of even greater sensitivity) have been driven to call for harsh and bloody action out of desperation at the level of suffering of all those stuck helplessly in the middle of the confusion.

The state of Israel has lost direction, lost Jewish identity, they still claim to have it, but they aren't even sure what Jewish Identity is.

Jewish Identity is Torah. 

Rabi Akiva explained it in the Talmud, Jews without Torah are like fish without water. 

It's time that we had a Jewish response to the worldwide terror campaign that threatens to engulf us all.

This isn't a new idea, it's too simple for it to be a new idea. Let's just try and approach it with new fervor, new dedication, new devotion. 

It's time to combat "terror cells" with "Torah cells."

The terror infrastructure is a model of survivability, it's impossible to stop a grassroots movement that spreads anonymously through a large and growing population.

Find a friend, a chevruta, or a couple and start your own Torah cell. Learn regularly and with as much focus and fervor as you can muster. Create prayer cells, tehillim cells, mitzwah cells. Whatever you can wherever you can. Know that this is your mission.

The intent and focus of your learning: to connect to HaShem. 

Learn in order to do, to teach, and to uphold. So that whenever you do a mitzwah, it should be informed by that learning, you should connect through that learning, through that mitzwah, back to its source, HaShem. Mitzvot aren't rituals, they're actions.

Whenever you pray, let your learning inform your prayers, connect through the learning, the prayers back to the source, HaShem. Prayer isn't reciting words from a book, it's speaking to God.

1. Start a Torah cell today. Then spread the fire. Each cell member should start another cell, so that every person is a member of two cells, the cell they were invited to and the cell they create. 
2. Don't overdo it. Just two cells. Devote your time and energy to your learning in those two cells.
3. Create daily and weekly learning schedules, simple schedules you can stick to, and stick to them.
4. Anything you learn feel free to spread through blogs, email, wikis, twitter, pass the Torahs down and up the cells.
5. Let's unite and connect all of Am Yisrael in Torah.
6. Pass this on.

the power of true happiness

איזהו עשיר? השמח בחלקו - ללחום נגד העצבות, אפשר להבין את הפתגם ככה: אזוהי [דרך של] אושר? השמח בחלקו [של חברו] דווקא

 

It is a very big mitzwah to always be happy. 

So, what do we do when our lives seem miserable? Be happy about someone else's life. This is a very big secret to true happiness.

If you can look at your friend's life and see that things are going well for them, and you can take true joy in this, you can vanquish any depression, any sadness.

When we truly understand that our friends' and family's wellbeing is as important as our own, we can be happy even when our own lives are difficult.

[If the reverse is true, heaven forbid, we can't let our friends' or family's suffering get in the way of our happiness, because our own sadness could hinder our ability to help them in their time of need.]

beautiful women

Why are women generally more beautiful than men?

The Tzemach Tzedek explains in his Derech Mitzwotecha, while explaining the mitzwah of lighting the Hannukah Candles, that the mitzwah is meant to bring down a tremendous influx of light from Hochmah all the way to Malchut. He explains that while all the of the middot receive of this light, Malchut receives the most because it is the direct interface with the klippoth, the dark side, so it needs the excess light to drive away the darkness. [Since men represent yesod, and women malchut] Because women receive this greater surplus of light, they generally shine with more beauty.

sweetness

טעמו וראו כי טוב ה' - עיקר חסידות הוא לטעום מתיקות עריבות ידודות נועם השם שנבלע בתוך האלוקות של כל נברא. זוהי גילוי ודביקות הנשמה באלוקות אשר טבוע בכל נברא. כל עוד שבחינת העולם מבדיל בין הנשמה לאלוקות אז אי אפשר לטעום המתיקות

What's the essence of Hassidut?

To me, the deepest lesson of the Ba'al Shem Tov (or BeShT for short) is the sweetness that is revealed within all things. It can be most easily found and tasted in the Torah of Hassidut, but the underlying lesson is "go out and learn," that same sweetness underlies all of creation. It is the sweetness of cleaving to the Godliness that infuses all things and imbues them with life.

In the BeShT's famous letter to his brother-in-law R' Gershon KiTov, Moshiah tells him in Gan Eden that he (Moshiah) will not arrive until all the world can perform the spiritual unifications of the Ba'al Shem Tov. To me this doesn't mean arcane intentions or mnemonics, rather the simple joy of revealing the sweetness of Godliness in all things. 

Don't misunderstand, this is no small task, in practice it may be harder than teaching everyone (and I mean everyone) the unifications (yichudim) of the Mekubalim. 

I bring up this topic in recognition of Yud Tet Kislev the Rosh HaShanah of Hassidut.

טעמו וראו כי טוב השם - taste and see that HaShem is good.

return your exiles

Every time you catch yourself somewhere out-of-body, whether you are imagining a beach-side vacation or a hot cup of coffee at starbucks, or just plain wishing you were somewhere else, you are in a mini exile.

You are expressing a lack in the current state of things, denying HaShem's imminence and hand in the state of your immediate world.

Stop, and return from your exile. Recognize that whatever it is you'd rather be doing is, deep down, a placeholder for 'connecting to HaShem.' Realize that you could be, right now at this very instant, fulfilling that deepest desire, wherever you are. Connect. Return.

[for extra credit:] Next, realize that whatever it is you were in the middle of (while prefering to imagine some place else) is exactly what you needed to be doing, and where you needed to be to best serve your purpose of connecting to HaShem. What was boring or frustrating or outright painful is what can now be exciting and timeless.

Now assess and decide, maybe I should be doing something else? The answer might still be 'yes.' If so, go do it.

Don't make the mistake of thinking this kind of exercize will make you a shallow person, just the opposite is true!! Sitting around doing something mindlessly while you are busy dreaming about something else will definitely make you a shallow person.

coming up for air

How do we deal with the dichotomy, the discrepancy between knowing everything is only HaShem and relating to physical objects and tangible entities in the 'real' world?

In the Tanya this disconnect is discussed as a limitation of being human. A transitory level. A dangerous snare to avoid.

Many Gedolim, among them the Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh, (whom I've not seen inside) encourage us to stop regularly throughout the day to remind ourselves of the deeper truer reality of HaShem.

Today, to me, it seems like everytime I get to stop to say a berachah or think about HaShem, it's like coming up for air.

Yes we can swim around and explore the depths of this world, but the reality is, we need to come up for air.

The longer we stay under, the more desperate we get, the more our lungs burn, calling out for oxygen, telling us we need to get some air.

So remember to surface often. Reconnect with HaShem and then dive back in to Olam HaZeh.

It changes the way we look at everything.

more and then some: service for two

There's a subtle change in the Shema between the beginning of the first perek and the beginning of the second perek. In the first perek we are told to love HaShem with all of our heart, soul, and more. In the second perek we are told to love HaShem and to serve Him with all of our heart and soul.

What happened to the 'more,' and why do we have to love Him to serve Him?

I was given a glimpse into two important Jewish ideas today that I think help to answer this question:

The first is that when we get used to ignoring a particular halachah or mitzwah, we become blinded to the importance of that halachah or mitzwah.

The second is that we are instructed in the Talmud that everything is in the hands of Heaven, except the fear of Heaven.

Let's think about these two things, the first means that while we may be aware of many many mitzwoth or halachoth, if we don't actively practice them in our lives, they become dull and meaningless, one-dimensional. Just like an undeveloped character in a novel or a movie, we lose interest and they simply fade into the scenery. Knowing about the mitzwoth and halachoth isn't enough. The purpose of all the 613 mitzwoth, and near-infinite halachoth is to cleave to HaShem. Each one is another channel, another dimension, another medium in the expression of our unique relationship with HaShem. Ignoring a mitzwah is kind of like never touching your spouse because you are content merely with looking at them.

The second lesson teaches us that as long as we haven't internalized that everything is truly in HaShem's hands we will be wasting all of our time trying to control our circumstances. Which basically means we're throwing our lives away. HaShem can handle everything in our lives, we just have to handle the mitzwoth. If we don't make our relationship with HaShem, which is established through the performance of the mitzwoth, the central tenet of our existence, then our existence is going to get very tenuous. All day long we will be chasing after the shadows of oppurtunity and fleeing from fearful imaginations. When we look at the heart of each dilemma - How can I serve HaShem from this place? Then we approach every challenge with the certain knowledge that somewhere in the thick of it is where I will find HaShem.

Taken together we can see the answer, perhaps to our question:

When we're told to love HaShem and serve him with all our life and all our soul, we can see how that love needs to be transformed through the mitzwoth, through the fear of the challenge and through penetrating to the underlying truth. We may fear for our life or for our soul, but when we know the truth, that the only thing to fear is HaShem, then we are filled with so much love that we push forward in His service.

When we're relating to HaShem through pure love, there's always got to be 'more.' However close we are today, perhaps there's something we're overlooking that can bring us closer still. What about this mitzwah or that halachah that I learned but never bothered to get to know?

There's never an end to a good relationship. You can always grow closer, but it has to be through shared experiences. Mitzwoth are just that, sharing an experience with HaShem, as the root of the word mitzwah means to bind.

breadcrumbs from komarna

The stages of avodat HaShem are many, but it helps sometimes to have a guide. The Komarna Rebbe, in his Netiv Mitzwotecha, (Netiv HaEmunah:3 the last few letters) explains three major stages of Avodah in this world:

1. Connecting Malchut to Binah - this is accomplished through cutting oneself off from the pleasures of the world, focusing intensely on Torah study. Yaakov Avinu did this in his avodah to be Yoshev Ohalim, sitting in the tent studying rather than interacting with the enticing world at large of Esav.
   
2. Connecting Malchut to Hochmah - this next stage can only be achieved through engaging the world for the sake of HaShem with deep meditations and Yichudim while performing even the most mundane of tasks. Yaakov Avinu did this in his showdown with Lavan and all of his endeavors while away from home.
   
3. Connecting Malchut to Keter - this final stage takes us beyond the world into the realm of nothingness, where we make ourselves infinitely small in the face of constant awareness of HaShem's Greatness. We see this trait in Yaakov Avinu when he returns from abroad and turns to HaShem as the source of his salvation, rather than his own merit, saying 'I have grown small from all of Your Kindness.'

After thinking about this for a few days I asked my Rav and he agreed with my assessment of this Torah:

1. Malchut to Binah - this avodah is essentially connecting to the pnimiyut, the innermost essence, of the Torah. It corresponds to connecting to Godliness in its most basic sense, Elokut, in the nomenclature of the Baal Shem Tov. (The Baal Shem Tov says that everything in the world has three major aspects Elokut (God), Olamot (Worlds), and Neshamot (Souls))
   
2. Malchut to Hochmah - this avodah is essentially connecting to the pnimiyut of the World. Which corresponds to the Baal Shem Tov's rendering of Olamot.
3. Malchut to Keter - this avodah reaches connecting to the pnimiyut of your Soul. Which is Neshamoth according to the Baal Shem Tov.

I wish we could all experience life in a straightforward and rewarding fashion, but it seems that in our modern era we are vacillating between all three avodahs in a near-constant fashion.

Ironically, it's virtually impossible to do the avodah of Chochmah or Keter without first completing our avodah of Binah.

Since we don't generally have the luxury of stopping what we are doing and starting at the beginning, we need to be aware of and incorporate these ideas into our daily life as much as we can. Perhaps when we get to learn, we can focus on the avodah of Binah, when we're invovled in the day to day we can focus on avodat Hochmah, and when we're stuck in traffic, it's a wonderful time to work on avodat Keter.

Beyond that, we have to rely on HaShem to help us succeed despite everything that stands in our way. We may not be Yaakov Avinu, but HaShem is the same HaShem that helped Yaakov Avinu.

knowing where and when

It's an interesting social phenomenon, but when someone is aware of someone else's schedule it marks a level of intimacy and relationship. There is a social value placed on knowing what your friends are up to and where they happen to be. It's not the kind of thing one is normally aware of, but if you pay attention, one feels a little bit of ego when we can share the locale or the status of an important or popular person at a particular time, especially when this knowledge reveals your close relationship with the person in question. (You have to really pay attention to notice this effect, but its very real.)

This explains one of the praises of Bnei Yisrael that Bilam shares: (Balak 23:24)  כָּעֵת, יֵאָמֵר לְיַעֲקֹב וּלְיִשְׂרָאֵל, מַה-פָּעַל, אֵל. Which the Holy Ishbitzer translates [loosely--english paraphrasal is mine] as: At every moment they will come to Israel to ask them what is God's doing right now? He explains that every soul of Bnei Yisrael has the potential to know HaShem's will at every single moment. This is an expression of our unique and exclusive relationship with HaShem.

But, I think there's a very un-esoteric application of this same relationship principle: It is very important for a marital relationship for the husband to make his whereabouts and plans known to his wife. In this way you express your unique and exclusive relationship, she knows where you are and what you are up to. If other people are looking for you, they know they can ask her. There is a special social status that is attached to that knowledge, just as our ability to explain HaShem's will exposes to all the nations our unique status.

(In terms of the marital relationship this goes both ways, I just described it from the angle more familiar to myself. It also happens a lot that one hears spouses annoyed or complaining (if often half joking) that they don't know where their other half went off to. So there is plenty of anecdotal evidence.)

crown of the yud

בזה שיהודי מודה על אמיתו ומכיר בעצמו הוא מיחד יחודים עצומים - בביטוי אני יהודי משייך האני ליהודה ונעשה שילוב אדנות והוי-ה מיחד קב"ה ושכינתיה

The simplest and highest thing a Jew can do is to recognize that s/he is a Jew. "I am a Jew," in Hebrew, אני יהודי. Ani Yehudi. When we look at the word Yehudi, it means, "belonging to Yehudah." When we say Ani Yehudi, we are saying that the Ani belongs to Yehudah. When we return the Ani to Yehudah, the letters of Yehudah and Ani combine forming the two names of HaShem אדנ-י and י-ה-ו-ה. The former, referred to as shem Adnut, references the Shechinah, HaShem's light filling the world, whereas the latter, shem havayah, references the fact that HaShem both maintains the creation and is infinitely beyond it.

When we acknowledge our Judaism, (that there is no me separate from my Jewish identity) turning to HaShem and saying, i'm simply a Jew, we unify the two aspects of HaShem, that He fills the world and that He is its boundary. In so doing, we unite all of creation in recognition of HaShem. This is what it means to be a light unto the nations, an ohr lagoyim. When we fail to recognize who we truly are, (heaven forebid) then we fail in our task. (heaven forebid)

Only through acknowledging our deepest identity can we fulfill our role. Just like the story of Yonah, hiding wont help.

a cry for help

Tehillim 121 : שיר המעלות אשא עיני אל ההרים מאין יבוא עזרי - A song of ascents, I lift my eyes to the mountains, from where will my help come? עזרי מעים השם, עושה שמים וארץ - my help comes from HaShem, creator of heaven and earth.

We learn in parashath Bereishith that a man's wife is called his עזר כנגדו. It seems to me that Tehillim 121 is a perek that is uniquely suited to praying to HaShem to find one's soulmate.

In this manner the first two verses become: ...from where will my soulmate come? My soulmate comes from HaShem...

Just as HaShem created the heavens, where a couple is united in the root of their soul, He created the earth where a couple is initially divided, but will be reunited. This is hinted at in the last passuk, HaShem will guard your going and coming. Why is the going mentioned first? It refers to when the souls were divided and placed down here on earth. He guards not only the going, but also the coming together once more, the reunion of the divided soul down here on earth.

his and hers

Following a lot of conversation about the importance of women in Judaism, I clarified for myself one issue which I will elucidate here. Basically, if you follow it, I suggest that both sides could be said to be true. In matters such as this, I think it is small-minded to expect exclusive truths. At this level things blend in to a singular complete truth, rather than run into contradictory argument.

When it comes to the view of 'the female', (ie. nukvah and not women) in Chazal and in Kabbalah, I believe it is (and always will be) inferior to 'the male,' with good reason: The male is ultimately a description of God's influence, and the female is ultimately a description of those (all created beings) influenced by God. Everything in creation being secondary to God, existing only because God exists.

There is definitely wiggle room to say that perhaps even in this context the female is already (or will become) more important. The view of the Ba'al HaTanya whose yahrtzeit it is today, states that if you truly love HaShem then you will love what he loves, namely bnei Yisrael. In this context, and in the context of selfless love, HaShem ('Himself') might very well consider 'the female' (ie. everything created) to be more important than HaShem. ('the male') 

So what's more important? HaShem, whose existence is the foundation of the existence of everything else, or everything in existence, since HaShem cared about it so much that it should have come into existence to begin with?

To which I say, (loosely paraphrasing the Zohar) the only thing of interest is the union of the 'male' and 'female.'

Torah of the whole man

On Shabbath my wife mentioned how frustrating it can be for women, that all the Torah seems to be applicable in a straightforward manner for men, but not for women.

I explained that even though it may appear to be the case, take a passuk like זאת תורת האדם - this is the Torah of man for example, it is not really true at all. In fact, Adam does not mean man, or at least it doesn't refer to the same element as the word Ish, (איש) man. We can see this from the Talmud in which it explains that a man is not called אדם - Adam unless he is married. From this we can see that a single man is an איש and a woman an אישה (Isha) and only an איש and אישה united constitute the word אדם, Man as in Mankind.

From this we can understand that a husband and a wife are both always performing actions for the whole. When one is learning Torah (either one) the couple is involved in Torah learning. When one is praying, both are involved. When one is preparing for Shabbath, both are involved.

There is no way, shape, form, or reason to try and break this union into its two constituent halves. There is no mitzwah that affects only one half of the whole.

This isn't an apologetic attempt to excuse one spouse or the other from learning Torah or anything else, it is just the opposite. One of the reasons why performing a mitzwah is so powerful is because its effects are hidden from us in this world. (שכר מצוה בהאי עלמא ליכא - there is no reward for a mitzwah in this world because the reward couldn't fit into this world, it is too great!) If we were aware of the awesome divine light that is revealed with each little berachah, we would never get to perform a second mitzwah, we would be blissing out on the first one indefinitely. It is only because the results of our actions are hidden to us that we may stand in the presence of the holy Shechinah (without any awareness of it at all) and continue to exist.

Just as an individual needs to awaken themselves to the true value, import, and effect of his or her mitzwoth, a couple needs to come to terms with the awesome reality that some of the mitzwoth that fall on them to perform can only be accomplished through their spouse.

For the simplest explanation think of it this way, there are mitzwoth that only apply to certain parts of the body, but don't think that a mitzwah taking place locally in one part of the body means that the rest of the person hasn't fulfilled their obligation.

Don't think for a moment that just because we only see the tefillin on the left arm doesn't mean the right arm isn't wearing tefillin.

not a theory but a vision of everything

[DixieYid's post reminded me that this was rolling around in the back of my mind, so I figured I'd share it--it started as a comment on his post but got too big so i moved it here.]

In Rav Aryeh Kaplan's Meditation and Kabbalah, he explains the difference between two major modes of thought, Binah and Hochmah.

Binah, he explains, is the attempt by the mind to break down ideas into meaningful relationships that create a relative structure of meaning.

Hochmah, on the other hand, is more of a momentary indivisible lightning-like inspiration.

In practice, a person needs to vacillate between the two states in order to achieve deeper insight into a spiritual matter. We jump from a momentary spark of inspiration to a mode that breaks down the spark into inter-related components. This new depth of understanding fuels further moments of inspiration and so on.

This isn't such an abstract explanation, it's actually pretty hands on if you try to work at it. Not only that, but this is actually how are brain works when we are solving problems whether we realize it or not.

The thing that always worries me most though, is what Rav Kaplan said about Ben Zoma. Of the four people who went into the Pardes (without getting into what that means) Ben Zoma was the one who went insane. Rav Kaplan explains that Ben Zoma went insane because at the moment when he was beholding an infinite experience of HaShem, he tried to analyse that experience with a Binah mode of thinking. Since the experience was infinite and not finite, Ben Zoma's mind was permanently trapped in an endless loop of deeper and deeper inter-relational understandings. This was the root of his insanity.

Why does this worry me? Because I always end up breaking things down into the various related structures. At the same time I want to see everything at once, the unique and complete related super-structure of everything. (This is essentially for me the definition of Da'ath--intimate knowledge of the universal structure of everything such that it is all united and undifferentiable, a perfect union of Hochmah and Binah modes of thought)

What scares me is how lost one can get when seeking out the edges of something infinite, what is comforting is that there is so much in the Hasidic and Jewish mystical literature that hints that it is possible.

child of both worlds

We are sitting in a dark and long galut. (exile) We are told that the Shechinah, HaShem's "Divine Presence" accompanied us into galut. HaShem Himself has remained hidden to us since the days of the Second Temple. How can we reunite HaShem and His Shechinah, how can we make peace between Abba and Ema?

When parents are so upset with one another that they cannot acknowledge their own feelings, they may yet still look upon their child, the product of their union and feel their great love for their child. Accompanying the feelings of love for their offspring they also see attributes that are reminiscent of their spouse in the child. Whatever it is they see, it becomes impossible to relate to their companion with the same disregard when the wellsprings of love for their common child, their shared creation are overflowing.

Each and every Jew is a child of Abba and Ema. We are a physical body fused with a holy soul. The body represents HaShem, Abba, it is formed of nothing more or less than HaShem's own Will but it seems to us meer physicality. Our soul represents the Shechinah, Ema, it is the revelation of HaShem's light which was previously hidden within physicality.

When we perform a mitzwah with our soul and body in complete and total unity, we reveal our divine heritage both our Abba and our Ema. The fact that we are completely one in our observance, both physical and spiritual, testifies to the reality of oneness and singular reality of HaShem's light revealed openly in the world. The union of Abba and Ema.

This is the meaning of the l'shem yichud, for the sake of the union, which we say before the performance of a mitzwah. We are aspiring to show our truest self, and in so doing reunite our estranged parents in this long galut.

falling out of touch

When we are in the middle of tefillah, we are in a space of gadlut, an enlightened state. When we leave prayer, we leave that state, and with it we leave that closeness we share with HaShem and go back into normal reality. The goal is to bind yourself so tightly during tefillah that you don't come down, don't let go of HaShem, not even when you've gone back to mundane reality.
[brought down by the Noam Elimelech (parashath Emor)]

How close can we bind ourselves to HaShem in tefillah? I don't know if there's a limit, but I do know that in the past we mentioned the Noam Elimelech discussing souls of the Tzaddikim unifying with HaShem in the words of prayer and Torah learning. I think there is an attainable level of davening for us where we are aware of the words of our prayers leaving our lips. Through this awareness we can come close to kissing HaShem.

peace for peace

[I'm sure there must be precedent for this in the literature of Chazal, but for me this is a hidush.]

We are taught that on our wedding day we are forgiven for all our sins.

My hidush is this: Every day that we restore our relationship to the status it had on our wedding day, we are forgiven for our sins.

People may say (and rightly so) no, your relationship has grown since your wedding, bringing it back to the relationship it was on the day of your wedding would be a step backwards. True. But the intention here is not that your relationship is the same as on your wedding day, but rather just as on your wedding day you were in a state of complete peace with one another, any day you restore total and complete shalom bayit, that day is like your wedding day.

To those who feel this isn't very difficult, I'm happy to hear that. I don't even know if it is difficult at all. My point is that the kavanah of the statement that we are foregiven for our sins on our wedding day is based in the shalom and unity of the new couple. Whenever we act to maintain that unity, HaShem certainly forgives us our past sins.

[this is why, in shacharit, creating shalom bayit is one of the things that "we eat the fruits in this world, and the keren, the lump sum, is waiting for us in the next world," we merit to be foregiven in this world, that is the fruit we eat, and in turn, because we are absolved in this world, we receive the next world as well.]