Crunch time

Rebbe Nachman teaches that no action with holy purpose, no matter how small, is ever lost. Instead, all of these actions with good intentions, even if they never amounted to anything hang around and wait until they are needed, and then in a moment of crisis they come to your aid.

What is this moment of crisis? I wanted to explain it like so: In general we refer to the Yetzer Hara, or the animal soul, as something evil. In reality, the Yetzer Hara most of the time plays a role more like training wheels. It makes you seek out the right things for the wrong reasons. A person can live their whole lives listening to the Yetzer Hara and accomplishing mainly good. He can make a good living, marry a nice woman and have a beautiful family. These are all things the Yetzer Hara encourages. 

Sometimes, though, the Yetzer Hara encourages us to go beyond our own personal boundaries and cross into areas that are more black than gray. These are the times of nisayon, of challenge, of crisis. These are times when suddenly all of the good intentions and baby steps you made toward holiness come back to pull you across the finish line. This is the time of crisis about which Rebbe Nachman was speaking.

Opening the gates of Holiness

We often talk about the history and the mitzwoth involved in Hannukah, but we rarely really look to see what Hannukah can teach us today.

I'd like to relate a very simple idea that can change our Hannukah experience forever.

The Beit HaMikdash, we are taught, is a model of the world. More importantly, it's also a model of a person. The Zohar and other Kabbalistic texts go into great detail explaining how each functioning part of the Mikdash represents an integral organ of the human body.

In light of this piece of knowledge, it behooves us to reexamine the miracle of Hannukah.

The Greeks devastated our culture, outlawed some of the most foundational mitzwoth and violated the most Holy place in all of creation, the Beit HaMikdash. Violated it utterly and wholly. Idols and everything else impure were so thoroughly invested in that Holy place that it seemed like it could never be returned to its Holy status. It could never be pure again.

The miracle of Hannukah was that we were able to remove all of that filth and light the menorah with a pure untainted light. Halachah says that it would have been permissible to light impure oil in the menorah, when the Mikdash was in such a state, but the Jewish people so wanted to be pure themselves, that they insisted on seeking out pure oil. Chazal teach that when one seeks to be Holy, Heaven opens its doors to them.

Hannukah is a special occasion like no other. On Hannukah, just watching the Hannukah candles burn and truly desiring to be pure will purify you.

Just as on Hannukah the Mikdash, a model of a person was made pure once more, so too you, no matter how thoroughly impure and filthy you may feel, will be made pure.

What a beautiful Chag HaShem gave us. This is why we say a full Hallel all eight days of Hannukah. This is why there is no outright mitzwah to eat a festive meal on Hannukah. It is only if we want to be pure, then we choose for ourselves to make a Holy seudah on Hannukah.

When we choose to be Holy, HaShem opens the door. That's why the Hannukah lights are first and foremost to be placed by the door.

you have to visualize to realize

On Shabbat Chazon it's important to realize we can't see the world clearly. Rebbe Nachman explains that the sun shines with the same brightness all day, but during the night we can't see it because the world is hiding the sun from us. In the same way the light of the Torah is the brightest light in all of creation, but the world hides it from us.

How do we solve this problem? Simple, R' Nachman says if we look away from the world (wordliness) we can see the light of the Torah. This is the true light. 

Elsewhere Rebbe Nachman explains that the light of the Shabbath is the light of the Beit HaMikdash, so it seems to me that it is on Shabbath Chazon that we can most clearly be aware of the painful loss of the Beit HaMikdash. We have all this light, but it has no place to dwell in this world. We want and miss the lack of a vessel in which to store this beautiful light of Shabbath.

Rebbe Nachman also explains that if we don't look to HaShem to provide for us in the right time, then our blessings will still come but not in the most opportune times, not when we really need it. 

It would seem that Shabbat Chazon is the Shabbat where we can look beyond this world, hoping and expecting to receive the Beit HaMikdash once more. This is the meaning of Shabbath Chazon that we are granted a vision of the Beit HaMikdash. Not that it is a glimpse of the future, but that we are granted the ability to really look to HaShem to provide the Beit HaMikdash for us now. 

May HaShem open our eyes, and may we see with all our longing the Beit HaMikdash sitting on Har HaBayit. Now. In our days. (In the world to come all our days will shine as one, rather than this world where each day takes its own individual time to shine.) In our "days" is now, when the Beit HaMikdash is revealed.

Furthermore it seems unusual that in our tefillot we always mention the Beit HaMikdash before mentioning Moshiah (Tishkon (ie. Mishkan) b'toch Yerushalayim..V'Kiseh David (Moshiah) l'Tocha Tachin.) even though we seem to have this expectation that Moshiah must come first and build the Holy Temple. Perhaps the explanation is this: In our prayers we reference the final Shabbat Chazon in which we see the Temple first, and then Moshiah comes, and builds it.

First we need to have the vision, the inspiration, the foresight to bring about the Beit HaMikdash, once we have the vision, then HaShem sends the Moshiah to realize that vision.

May HaShem open our eyes that we may visualize the goal.

Shabbat Chazon Shalom!

to an innocent child's eye

(1) The Hassidim, especially Rebbe Nachman espoused the importance of being simple rather than intellectual.  They also emphasized having a youthful outlook on the world, one in which every day is new and full of promise.

(2) The souls of the Jewish people are the letters of the Torah. This is a basic teaching from the Zohar. It has number of really interesting implications I hope to get into one day, for now just a simple insight.

(3) There is a very basic halachah. When there is a doubt regarding the validity (kashruth) of one of the letters in a Torah scroll, we ask a child, not an overly intelligent child, nor an overly simple child, but an average child who doesn't yet know how to read but has already learned the alphabet. We ask that child what letter the letter in question looks like, if the child answers correctly, then the letter is kosher, and Torah scroll can continue to be used to learn and read from. If the child says it looks like a letter other than the intended letter, then the Torah scroll is not kosher to be used until it has been corrected.

Taken together, these three pieces of information seem to imply something very deep and very special about Hassidut. The Baal Shem Tov and all those who followed him aspired to be the simple child who could correctly recognize the hebrew letter (soul) hidden within each one of us. If the Rebbes were simple and 'childish' (in the relevant sense mentioned above) then they could bring any Jew over to the side of 'Kashrut' simply by recognizing the Jewish soul hidden within him or her.

the temple that stands

'You have killed a dead people, you have burned a Temple already burned, you have ground flour already ground.' [Sanhedrin 96b]


We see from the Talmud that even while the Beit HaMikdash stood, it was already burned. So too, even though the Beit HaMikdash today is in ruins, we will see (b"h) that it is already standing.

thoughtful humor

"A mentsch tracht und der Abishter lacht" is a yiddish expression meaning more or less "Man plans and God laughs."

It's generally taken as a sort of blanket acknowledgement that we don't know what's best for us, or as another expression of Murphy's law, but I recently found a new way to understand it.

Towards the very end of Likkutei Moharan (II:118) Rebbe Nachman explains that while in our day and age, it is very easy for someone to reveal new Torah simply by speaking it, without having to think about it, HaShem derives special pleasure from the Torah we have to think about. He used the yiddish word trachtin to emphasize the effort expended on thinking about the Torah.

From this teaching, a new understanding of the Yiddish expression occurred to me: when a man thinks about Torah, HaShem laughs from joy.

haazinu : AZ-ify us!

האזינו השמים ואדברה - heavens! harken and I will speak

These are the opening words of parashath Haazinu. While learning the Ohr HaHayyim, he asks a simple question: what is the meaning of האזינו - harken? It suddenly occured to me that the deeper meaning of these opening words is something quite different from what we might have otherwise thought:

For a little background, we need to understand a few ideas. Speech is the power of the Moshiah. Why? Speech is associated with the sefirah of Malchut in a number of places, most notably in the introduction to the Tikkunei Zohar: מלכות פה - Malchut is the mouth. Also, the Moshiah will wage his wars through prayer - בקשתי ובחרבי - with my bow and my sword - is translated as through my supplications and my praise.

Another important introduction: Az Yashir, the song that Bnei Yisrael sang upon the Exodus from Egypt, hints that Mosheh and Bnei Yisrael will sing in the future, אז, not in the past. Chazal explain (since clearly Mosheh sings with Bnei Yisrael) that this song in the future will be in the time of Israel's final redemption. (when Mosheh is resurrected with all the rest of the 'dead')

Now we can understand the prayer that was hidden within the opening words of Parashath Haazinu:

האזינו השמים ואדברה - [I entreat the] Heavens, bring us to the time/state of אז (literally: make us אז) the time of the final redemption, and then [as the Moshiah, with the power of Moshiah] I will speak.

things I should say to my boss

I would love to make this deadline, but I've got much more important things to do.

In less than three weeks I have to stand before the Creator of all that is and justify my existence. He's the one who is paying the bills, He writes the checks. If I don't satisfy Him, I won't be able to make ends meet. On the other hand, if He's happy with me, I'm on easy street. You could fire me, and I wouldn't even notice.

I have to start working on myself.

Sounds ridiculous to you?

Sounds ridiculous to me too.. that's my problem.

In eighteen days I have to stand before the King of Kings, and I'm affraid I'll just be standing in synagogue, almost completely unaware of my current situation.

Can you imagine, being judged by the King and being so oblivious as to not know what is going on?

What chance do I have if I can't speak in my own defense? I'll be like someone showing up to court drunk.

Thank God He's merciful and graceful, exceedingly patient, infinitely kind and truthful, looks out for the good of all, overlooks transgression, crime, and sin and cleanses all.*

I'm only going to get off because He'll let me off; but shouldn't I at least put in the effort?

Wouldn't it be nice if I could be present for my judgement, maybe thank HaShem profusely for his infinite mercies?

Anyways, that's the way the conversation should go. But of course I won't say it. Year after year, this is what we go through, and we don't say these things, we don't take a month off to prepare (which by the way is the whole purpose of this month of Elul) to take stock, and to get to know God in a personal way. In the month of Elul we say the King is in the field -- He's around, get to know Him, so that when He sits on His lofty throne come Rosh HaShanah, we'll have a clue who it is we're standing before.

He's also our father, so we know even if He doesn't go easy on us, it's all for our own good. But Still. There are babies, who are all but unaware of the existence of their parents, and then there are children who know and recognize their parents, who take great pleasure in the attention afforded them, who want nothing more than to show off a new project or bring home a pleasing report card.

There are even young adults whose successes in the real world are even more precious in their parents' eyes.

And then there are those children who have grown, and wed, and birthed, and brought home grandchildren for their parents' pleasure.

Our mitzwoth are referred to as our children. When we do mitzwoth, real mitzwoth, the kind of mitzwoth that we meant to do, that we rushed to do, that we were overbrimming with joy to do, these mitzwoth are as alive as children. They have a body (the action) and a soul. (the intent)

When we come before HaShem in eighteen days, we don't (really) have to be worried whether or not we will get a favorable judge or a merciful jury, but what if Rosh HaShanah could be like bringing your kids home for a visit with their Grandfather??

That's what it really means to be inscribed in the book of life.

* this is my own translation of the 13 attributes of mercy

the wild animals

HaShem settled us in the Holy Land slowly, lest the wild animals become numerous and overwhelm us.

This is the secret of coming close to HaShem. When we grow in holiness gradually, with humility and patience, then we will inhabit the whole 'Land,' the entirety of our spiritual portion/potential.

But if we try to rush, the wild animals, the yetzer hara of ego and hunger, will grow too strong and overpower us.

This is why Yaakov's path, as a sincere student dwelling in the house of Torah was successful, and why l'havdil, Esav's path of action, a man of the field, was unsuccessful.

hearing the love

וחרה אף ה' בכם

It's so important not only to pray, not only to learn Torah, but also to find the hidden blessings, the hidden points of light within even the darkest places. (As a matter of principle, we don't seek out the darkness, but when we find ourselves in it, we are required to reveal the light hidden therein.)

Every day, at least twice a day, we say the prayer Shema Yisrael. In the time of the Holocaust, the Partisans in the woods would identify a Jew based on his/her ability to recite the Shema Yisrael. The Shema is in many ways the essence of the Jew, and many a Jew has died with these holy words on their lips.

In the second chapter/paragraph of the Shema, we speak about the performance of the mitzwoth and the negative reppercussions of our transgressions. To me this part of the Shema is always difficult, we are proffessing our love and devotion to God and in the midst of this recounting His capacity to consume us in His holy wrath.

"And He will grow angry with you, and the heavens will cease, a stop to all precipitation, the land will hold back its bounty, and you will be lost from the land."

That's rough. How can we really and truly mean it when we say we love God, when this threat hangs over our heads?

So many times I've set out to try and understand the deeper blessing, the light within this darkness and it has taken me until now to understand the smallest part of it:

When something displeases or angers you, you have a number of potential responses, depending on the importance of the annoyance in question. If it's the weather, you do your best to ignore it. An insect? You swat it away. A piece of paper, toss it in the waste basket. Another driver in traffic? Perhaps a gesture or an expletive but then they're gone.

What about your wife? children? parents? what about your best friend? These are the people that really get you angry. They make you angry because you care about them, because they know you and you know them, because you are intimately connected to them. You don't threaten your college professor that you won't ever talk to them again. You don't threaten to never visit a television reporter.

We are so close to God that He knows we can even take His anger. In hebrew it's rendered and His anger will burn in you. Not only does God dwell amongst us, but even when He's angry his anger is within us. He reveals Himself in this world through us. The heavens 'cease' when He's angry, the land's bounty is withheld, but He is still in us. He threatens to remove us from the land, because it's something of real value, a place to be close, to be intimate with Him. It's what He wants, it's what we want, and so it is withheld.

For one thousand nine hundred and forty one years, we have bourn His anger, and if that's what He's willing to give us then that is what we'll take.

Because all we want is Him.

That's a real relationship.

Someone you care about so much that they make you angry sometimes.

Someone who cares so much about you that your anger won't scare them away.

Compelling life

I'd like to claim that I have some connection to my father in law. [Meir Benayahu[english link], who passed away this week, ב אייר התשס"ט, the 17th of the omer, Tiffereth she'beh Tiffereth] Something more than just having snuck in under the radar and married his daughter. So, I offer up this hidush in the hope that I can explain my deeper relationship with my father in law. It's curious that 40 days before the fetus is formed a bat kol from shamayim proclaims the daughter of ploni (is destined) to (marry) ploni.

Why is the woman mentioned first? And why isn't she mentioned in her own right?It seems to me that one could say the following: when a daughter is born into the world a new chidush is introduced and as with any chidush, it begins with a question. The husband is the answer to the question posed by the wife.

From this it follows that the introduction of the wife can be said to require, perhaps even bring about, the necesity for the husband.

In this way I can say that the whole reason for my existence rests first and foremost with my father in law who posed the question of the chidush that HaShem placed me here to answer.

So far this is nice theorizing but it is all purely theoretical. I'd like to illustrate one of the most profound examples of this idea and perhaps you will agree with me: HaShem created the Torah and the Torah itself required that Bnei Yisrael come into being as her intended. Har Sinai was a celebration of the union of the question and answer, the chidush the whole world was created to reveal.

That's why the Torah begins with the word bereishith - for the sake of Israel and the sake of the Torah both of whom are called reishit. How can they both be considered the first? They are the question and answer that collectively represent the chidush upon which all else was founded.

May this shabbat bring each of us comfort and peace.

the sweetening of redemption

Today (21 Adar) is the (223rd) Yahrtzeit of the Noam Elimelech. (Rebbe Elimelech ben Reb Elazar of Lizhensk) [last year's yahrtzeit post here: the sweetness of elimelech]

Reb 'Meilech said about himself that he would sweeten the hardships of the time of Moshiah. 

The Komarna Rebbe wrote about the sefer Noam Elimelech that it is pure light and no one can truly comprehend it, they can only perceive it relative to their own level.

In honor of his 223rd Yahrtzeit, I wanted to share a little hidush (according to my own muddied level) on the sefer Noam Elimelech.

Reb 'Meilech often repeated the lesson that a Tzaddik, through his prayers, creates a new heaven and a new earth. Now, it occurs to me that there is almost a literal analog in the chumash of this description, creating a new earth and a new heaven: The splitting of the sea by the exodus from egypt. What are the heavens, the firmament that divides the heavenly waters with the earthly waters, well, on that day there was another firmament dividing the waters around the Jewish people. Similarly the earth, aretz, or land, is originally created (in Bereishith) through gathering the water away from and exposing dry land. Once again we see that in the splitting of the sea, new land, a new earth, was created.

Now to really get to the point of my teaching we need to visit two teachings of Chazal: 

(1) In Rabi Meir's (the Tanna who is responsible for much of the mishnah) Sefer Torah, the Talmud teaches, the words "robes of leather" (עור) was written "robes of light." (אור) The Komarna explains that Rabi Meir was on such a level that his flesh was totally transparent to HaShem's light, the true and deepest definition of learning Torah for its own sake (According to the Baal Shem Tov) and so in Rabi Meir's Torah scroll, the ayin was written as an aleph.

(2) The midrash mentions that by the splitting of the sea, HaShem appeared before Bnei Yisrael

as a powerful warrior in the prime of life, (sure enough we see in the song by the sea, Az YaShir, that Mosheh praises HaShem as a "Man of war") and by Har Sinai, HaShem appeared before Bnei Yisrael as an old man with a flowing white beard. 

The point is this:

In the Noam Elimelech (and once more in the appendix 'Likkutei Shoshanah') there appears a seeming reference to this midrash, but instead it is written that HaShem appeared by the splitting of the sea as an old man with a flowing white beard. 

At first I puzzled at this reading and even asked Rav Tal Zwecker (who recently translated the Noam Elimelech into english) for his explanation -- it would seem that the original manuscript abbreviated "Har Sinai" (ה"ס) and the printer misread it as (הים) "the sea." Seems like an honest enough mistake. 

But I would like to be mechadesh (offer a new interpretation) here that in fact, Reb Meilech was on such a level that all of HaShem's harshest judgements were clear to him as truly the sweetest kindness,  and so like Rabi Meir's Torah in which it was written "light" instead of "leather," here too Reb Meilech's sefer recorded only a likeness of Hesed, a kindly old man with a long white beard, by the splitting of the sea, not a man of war.

shabbat outed

Why does Masechet (tractate) Shabbath (2a) start with the melachah of hotza'ah, (carrying things from one domain to another) and why does it use the term yitzi'ot, not hotza'ot? Rashi and Tosfot both discuss parts of this question, but something else occurred to me, from a different perspective: 

Shabbath, as the seventh day of the week is intimately related to the sefirah of Malchut, Kingship. This is evidenced by the fact that Shabbat is our testimony to the fact the HaShem not only created the world, but presides over it constantly. How do we do this? We refrain from any and all "productive" action (read: melachah) on Shabbath. In this way we acknowledge that HaShem is still running the show, and we can relax and enjoy in comfort, entirely trusting to HaShem that if we take a day off, we won't suffer any loss.

As we know also, the sefirah of Malchut represents the mouth, speech, and the creation of the world, to which we are testifying through guarding the Shabbath, took place through ten acts of speech. It is for this reason, to allude to the deepest essence of Shabbath, that Masechet Shabbath starts with "Yitzi'ot" Shabbath. The utterances of Shabbat.

does my father yet live?

When we converse, are we talking to the body or the soul? The Baal Shem Tov says the answer is simple: The soul. If we were talking to the body, then we would still carry on conversations with a dead person. [Or even a sleeping person for that matter.]

It seems to me that the reunion that took place between Yosef and Yaakov his father, is the perfect metaphor with which to illustrate true prayer. Yosef playing the part of the person praying, and Yaakov the part of HaShem, the father who has been waiting long years to hear news of his favorite son.

Both are asking: Is it true that my father/son is still alive? As illustrated by the inverse of the Baal Shem Tov's lesson above, if we aren't communicating it could be mistaken as a sign of lifelessness. When we truly reconnect with HaShem through our prayers, we're beside ecstatic to find our father still alive and He is overjoyed to find His son still lives.

That pure joy, that wonderous disbelief, is what true prayer is meant to feel like.

Now imagine feeling that feeling three times every day!

a new focus

כדי לבטל את רצונות היצר אפשר לעקוב אותו במחשבה פשוטה. שילוב חיי אם אני, להקדים את מקור חייך להאני הישות שלך מביא ביטול מוחלט מאני לאין: חאיניי - עיטוף האני בחיי נפשך מגלה עצם ביטולו

One of the most basic ways to work on ego is to remind yourself that you are nothing next to your soul which is literally a piece of Godliness. (חלק אלוקה ממעל ממש) The Tanya discusses this in the context of awakening divine mercy for your poor soul that has been distanced from her home (the source from which she was hewn) in heaven.

A simple idea to focus on is this: the ego, the I, is אני in hebrew. The goal is to turn the ego, the אני, into אין, into the hebrew word for nothing. This seems simple as אין and אני have the same hebrew letters, aleph yud nun. So, we should be able to just rearrange our awareness and that's it, presto! no more ego. 

Unfortunately it's not so simple. But, when we start to think of our soul, of the source of our life-force, we can represent it with the word חיי. This is the life-force we pray for when we ask HaShem for בני חיי ומזוני - offspring, life, and sustenance. The life component encompasses many things, including really the other two. So, when we focus on our soul as the root of our life-force,  חיי, we can unite it with our ego, אני, and accomplish fascinating results.

When we connect two ideas in our thoughts, we generally interweave the letters of their composition, called in hebrew a שילוב - shiluv. In the case of אני and חיי when we want the חיי to be the dominant force influencing the אני, we start with the ח from חיי and then take the א from אני and so on, alternately taking one letter from each word. When we combine the whole thing we get:

חאיניי 

In this word we see that while the חיי remains intact surrounding what's in the middle, the middle has changed from אני, from ego to אין, to nothing.

In this way we can see that by focusing on the source of our life-force, on our soul, and its importance, we can overcome our ego in a very natural almost roundabout way.

When we remember our soul, and recognize how our actions either respect our soul, dignifying her, or dishonor her, embarrasing her, we can lose sight of whether our actions are bringing us honor or power or attention or all the other things our ego likes us to focus on.

of sparks and souls

True humility comes from recgonizing the importance of others coupled with one's own insignificance.

In truth, our Neshamoth are all connected, each Neshama is comprised of a unique point as well as parts of all the other Neshamoth that have ever been created.

When we see that such a large part of our own Neshama is actually made up of everyone else's Neshamoth, it should make us aware of how great and important everyone else is.

When we see what an insignificant portion of another person's soul is composed of a little piece of our soul it should make us aware of our own smallness.

Contemplation of this idea can lead to great Ahavat Yisrael.

visions of fire and hope

An unbelievable Hidush from Tish'a b'Av:

Midrash Rabbah (Bereishith) explains the beginning of Avraham Avinu's relationship with HaShem. Avraham reached an epic discovery and in a vision sees a city afire. He says "Is no one in charge?" At this point HaShem speaks to Avraham for the first time and says, "I'm in charge."

To the best of my understanding the burning city always represented the perpetuation of life, consuming resources, moving onward, basically: entropy. Avraham saw entropy and said, it seems like life is chaos, but he was puzzled by this because he thought for sure there was a creator, at which point HaShem reveals himself.

Later, this time in the Humash itself, (Shemoth) we have a similar vision: Mosheh Rabbeinu sees a bush afire, and wonders how it is the bush is not consumed? At which point, HaShem reveals himself to Mosheh and sends him on the quest to free the Jews from slavery.

To me this always represented the Jewish people, they were a small sappling yet the fires of bondage never consumed them.

Finally we have a mountain aflame, Har Sinai, at the giving of the Torah. Here all the nation witnesses HaShem speaking to them directly, coprophecy of an entire people.

The humble mountain aflame with the presence of Godliness, is a pretty straightforward metaphor.

To me, on Tish'a b'Av suddenly, all three visions represented the same vision.

All of them witnessed the burning of Yerushalayim. The destruction of the temple.

At the first destruction, Avraham Avinu asks HaShem: "Is there no one in charge?" After the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash everything seems pointless. Wasn't the beit HaMikdash the very point of creation, after all, everything HaShem promised Avraham came true? HaShem comforts Avraham that no, this is all part of the plan.

At the second destruction, Mosheh Rabbeinu asks: "Why won't the tree ignite?" It seems he was asking more about the nation, why won't they burn with passion for HaShem as is there potential? (instead they burn with hate at one another, and yet they aren't consumed.) HaShem reveals Himself to Mosheh and explains again that it's part of the plan.

At the final third temple, the whole nation stands and bears witness to the oneness of HaShem, and the mountain (the Temple mount) is alight shining up to the heart of heaven.

The destruction of each Temple was a revelation of the final rebuilding, flames up to the heavens, but we weren't ready to receive it yet. HaShem's very first revelation to Avraham Avinu, the vision that began it all, was a vision of the destruction and the promise of the rebuilding.

the world has it backwards, as usual

חי נושא את עצמו בשבת - בששת ימי החול, הקב"ה משיא אותנו, רק בשבת באמונה פשוטה נושאים את עצמנו - לכן עולם הבא יום שכולו שבת

I caught myself this week falling into the fatalist cynicism that sometimes (c'v) overcomes those olim who have lived in the country for years. For me it's been eight years, most of my independent adult life.

If there is one thing that hassidut stresses above all else, it is the importance of being happy always. We need to be always excited by life, excited to continue life, excited to overcome life's challenges.

It's not always possible to maintain excitement day in, day out. For this reason, when our excitement is at a low we need to turn to HaShem and place the full burden of our existence on Him. It's a hard lesson to learn, and harder still to implement once you intellectually know it to be true. I think it's also a challenge every time you come back to it; but there's no other way.

If our burden gets too heavy, we have to remind ourselves: we aren't really carrying it. It isn't (exactly) our job to carry it.

Perhaps there is a hidush lurking in this predicament: (as Rav Mordechai Eliyahu quoted recently) חי נושא את עצמו בשבת - on Shabbath, a living being carries itself. Perhaps the only time when we are meant to carry ourselves is on Shabbath. The six-day work week, HaShem is carrying us. Shabbath, the only way open to us to carry ourselves is emunah, through faith in HaShem that all of our needs are provided for.

words that understand

אף על פי דלא חזי, מזליה חזי - שאלו ובביטוי השאלה "מן הוא" כבר הבחין ליבם עצם מהות המן - אמונה

When bnei Yisrael saw the manna for the first time they said מן הוא - "what is it?" But the Talmud teaches us that even though we don't see the holiness in something, our neshama does. (אף על פי דלא חזי מזלי חזי)

Which is why their words hinted at the true nature of the manna even when they were asking what it was. מן הוא is composed of the letters which spell out אמונה - emunah. Every day in the desert we had to have faith in HaShem that he would provide for us.

make way for the healer

b'ezrat HaShem, Master of the world, sole Healer of Yisrael, I endeavor to be mechadesh Torah l'refuat HaRav Mordechai Tzemach ben Mazal Tov (Eliyahu) shlita.

The meaning of serving HaShem out of Bitachon, says the Holy Gaon of Vilna, (in his commentary on Mishlei) is to trust in HaShem without any intellectual crutch.

What exactly is an intellectual crutch? To my limited knowledge it would seem at first that any belief other than Ain od milvado (there is no other) would constitute a rational crutch. To even say HaShem created the world and the system of health and recovery, and naturally I should therefore trust in Him as the Creator of sickness and health, that He can and will heal someone.

At first this would seem like a crutch, the need to go into the reasoning, even a little bit, is a step away from pure bitachon, pure faith and trust. In a way it may seem tainted.

Yet there is a deeper level. Once you understand that HaShem is all that there is, and HaShem created and continues to create existence on every level. Then it can be said that through the understanding that HaShem created also medicine, sickness and health that we are drawing down our awareness of HaShem into these understandings, these relationships as well.

Through drawing HaShem down in this way, we are crowning HaShem in our intellect, in our ego, recognizing that our entire understanding of reality is for the sake of HaShem and our closeness with Him. We are endeavoring to connect with HaShem through our every thought, through our every understanding.

This is the deeper level, but there is first a more basic level. Our yetzer hara, our evil urge, may try to dissuade us in our service of HaShem through bitachon and emunah. he tries to distract us and convince us that what is on the outside is more real and more true than what we know to be on the inside. When we explore what is before our eyes, a sick person,(has v'shalom) a doctor, medicine, and we begin to remind ourselves, "HaShem is the reason behind the sickness," "Hashem is the reason behind the doctor's abilities, knowledge, and success," "HaShem puts life and healing in the medicine, just as he puts life in the food and drink before us, in the air around us." Each reminder, turns the object before us from a vessel for the yetzer hara into a vessel for Holiness.

May it be the will of HaShem that His nation will be healed speedily, may it be the will of HaShem that His words, "I am HaShem, your healer," will ring with certainty and truth in our ears. May it be the will of HaShem in His infinite mercies that we merit to know Him in all of our thoughts, and recognize Him in every element of our world.

כל העולם לא נברא אלא בשבילי - the whole world is created in my way [according to my actions]. Yet we know that HaShem created the whole world for His Honor. It is our job to ensure that the world that our actions create brings Honor to Him and not to us.

May HaShem grant Rav Mordechai Eliyahu long days and years to reveal HaShem's Honor to all of Bnei Yisrael.

אין עוד מלבדו