The Original Fight Club

The Baal HaTanya teaches that the Yetzer Hara is like a wrestling opponent, the more we put up a fight the more it tries to defeat us. This leads to the question: Why fight? No matter how hard we try to fight it, it (the Yetzer Hara) will only try harder. How will we ever win? Simple, the Baal HaTanya quotes Chazal who explain that it's only because HaShem intervenes and gives us the upper hand that we are able to overcome the Yetzer Hara.

Ok. Great. So if we fight the Yetzer Hara and do mitzwoth rather than sin we will get a nice portion in the world to come. Makes good sense. The world to come is forever and this world is 120 years tops, so it makes good economic sense as well, a little investment over a relatively short period of time with a payoff better than the best pension you could possibly imagine.

Wait. Thus far it all makes sense and I'm on board. But: Chazal say in Pirkei Avot: It's better to serve HaShem not in order to receive a reward. Huh? What's the point? If I'm basically just treading water, breaking even against the Yetzer Hara, and HaShem is the one pushing me over the top... Wait a minute, why am I getting rewarded for this at all? Because it's hard to fight the Yetzer Hara, especially when you know you can't win.

Right, so we don't really deserve the reward, the reward is only there to get us to persevere in our hopeless fight. So to hell with the reward! Why fight? One more question: If we don't really deserve the reward, it's only HaShem's way of convincing us to continue with the fight, why does He want us to fight? What's in it for Him? (not much, He's already got everything) It must be in our best interest. But what could be in our best interest about it? The reward? But He's already giving us the reward anyways even though we don't really deserve it, He can just give us the reward without our having to go to all the trouble.

Why does HaShem want us to go to all this trouble? What could be of benefit to us to fight with the Yetzer Hara knowing full well our only chance to win is that HaShem will intercede on our behalf? Well, wait a second, every time we fight with the Yetzer Hara HaShem intercedes on our behalf? So, you mean that whenever we struggle against the wishes of the Yetzer Hara, HaShem will show up to save us from the imminent train wreck?

So basically, if we are fighting the Yetzer Hara all day long it means HaShem is there with us all day long, helping us out in every little conflict? HaShem is spending every day, every minute with us? Wow.

So basically, whenever we want to feel HaShem's closeness we only need to fight the Yetzer Hara, that's it? We don't need to go anywhere? We don't need to make any special preparations, just jump into whatever mitzwah is at hand rather than whatever self-indulgent distraction might be currently within our grasp? Wow.

So, I guess maybe that's what the Baal HaTanya means when he says this world is better than the world to come, because we get to be even closer to The King (HaShem) in this world. Hey, even the comment from Chazal about serving HaShem with no thought to the reward makes sense too!

Guess I'll go pick a fight.

a most important reminder

The Baal Shem Tov shares a scary idea with us: Sometimes God is doubly hidden, so much so that even though we think HaShem is close to us, we are really very far from Him.

At face value I wouldn't share this Torah because it's too painful to hear. But it is an extremely potent weapon against depression and the Yetzer Hara:

If we feel that we're very far from HaShem, immediately we need to tell ourselves that that is a tremendously comforting feeling -- it means God is only singly hidden. It's an irony of existence that when HaShem feels far we can bank on Him being closer to us than perhaps when we mistakenly feel He's close.

On the other hand, when we feel that He is close we can say, "What the heck, I feel like I'm close to HaShem, so I'll rejoice in that feeling, even if it is illusory. From that happiness maybe I'll come to true closeness!"

This is the path of Hassidut, to always move in a positive direction, to always arouse oneself to happiness. [Happiness is the root of all spiritual experience.]

treat yourself to an eternal vacation

The Baal Shem Tov teaches that guests bring with them the light of the world to come.

After thinking about it for some time, it seems to me that the plain meaning of the Baal Shem Tov is this:

In reality, we all exist as guests of HaShem. As taught elsewhere, the idea of midah k'neged midah and the idea that one isn't punished until one passes judgement on oneself (as taught by the Baal Shem Tov) come together here: When we are hosts we have a chance to demonstrate how it is we would like HaShem to act with us.

We can either have mercy on our guests and shower them with every kindness, or we can take advantage of them ruthlessly. (has v'shalom)

It seems that the plight of the guest is a truly unique one. While you are unable to provide for and help yourself, even your own feeling of imposition or of unworthiness to be served is a function of how your host behaves. The unworthy in this world are fed the bread of shame in the world to come. This means that while HaShem provides for their every need, they enjoy nothing, for they are ashamed they can't take care of themselves.

daily life

In the past we've written about the importance of focusing on today, especially with regard to overcoming your yetzer hara. [see: bet your bottom dollar on today]

Today (no pun intended) I'd like to mention a few words about using today as a way to focus and intensify your prayers. [And through your prayers, to intensify and focus your relationship with HaShem.]

As is known, Chazal (our Rabbis, their memories should be a blessing) refer to prayer as the life of the moment. (חיי שעה) Primarily this reference is to draw contrast between prayer and Torah study, which is referred to as the life of forever. (חיי עולם) But, this definition of prayer as the life of the moment can help us in our attempt to pray with real focus and feeling.

In modern culture, prayer is seen as a last-ditch attempt that at worst can't hurt. We see this in the football play (l'havdil elef havdalot) "hail mary." Or the expression "he hasn't got a prayer [of a chance.]" We conceive of prayer as something that cannot be relied upon, [but won't hurt.]

Exactly the opposite is true: prayer is the best channel available to us to effect positive change in our lives.

Even in the midst of an earnest prayer, we lose hope when we ask for something that seems (to our limited conception of reality) 'far-fetched.' It feels like asking someone on the street for a million dollars, but rolling your eyes at the absurdity of the act. The moment we believe that we aren't deserving of HaShem's intervention, or that maybe we should ask for something less as it stands a better chance of being granted, we're falling into the trap of the yetzer hara.

More than that, we are more willing to pray for big rewards that will arrive further down the road -- subconsciously we do this to avoid being let down when we don't receive what we asked for -- if we asked for a wonderful new job today, and it didn't happen, it would seem like God isn't listening, and we're affraid He might not be.

This is like not pursuing a relationship out of fear of rejection. It's not news to anyone, I know, but you can't get someone to fall in love with you without first taking risks. Same thing with God, you are building a relationship and if you don't trust in HaShem, you aren't letting that relationship grow.

My advice to you: Focus on today. When you pray, ask for what you need today. Then ask for what you want today. [Don't forget to thank God for what you have today as well.]

As you progress, don't progress to tomorrow or longer periods of time, instead progress to greater expectations from today and you will not only reveal God's presence in every moment of your life, you will also develop a wonderfully deep and personal relationship.

Don't make the mistake of thinking you can wait till tomorrow to pursue this relationship. HaShem created the world in such a way that it's virtually impossible not to get to the world to come, (later if not sooner) but the relationship you build while in this world, is the relationship that will persist in the world to come as well --

Don't get stuck in the world to come with only "hail marys" to rely on.

parents as role models

Towards the end of the Tanya we see a discussion of how learning Torah differs from the practical mitzwoth.

One of the Alter Rebbe's major points is that Torah, as a pursuit of God, is limited in that the closest we can come is to an awareness of the Existence of God, but we cannot experience His Essence.

Through performing the physical mitzwoth, on the other hand, we are actually binding ourselves to God's Essence. (Note that this includes even (or especially) studying the halachot of the performance of physical mitzwoth because through the study of the performance of the mitzwoth we connect to the Essence of God's Intellect which prescribed the precise boundaries of the mitzwoth.)

My cousin Solly related a dvar Torah he had heard elsewhere regarding Avraham Avinu's tremendous intellectual insight that God existed. The question raised is, after such an insight, why did HaShem have to test Avraham? The Answer lies in the two relationships a person forges with HaShem, one is this intellectual relationship and the other is a relationship built on action and commitment. This second relationship was the one Avraham had to build, this was the purpose of the ten trials he underwent.

What strikes me personally is how one of these aspects of serving God seems very paternal, and the other maternal. Perhaps this is why HaShem gave each of us a mother and a father, to show us that we need to connect to God both through an intellectual awareness of His Existence (Torah study) and through the closeness brought about by ongoing involvement. (Mitzwah performance)

[This bears out some excellent relationship advice: When one's marriage mixes both these means of relationship, understanding and respect (intellectual) as well as shared time and experiences (involvement) there is the potential for a full and rewarding unity.]

wrinkled and holy like parchment paper

On Yom Kippur, when I had a lull in concentration, and no matter what I tried I couldn't focus on anything other than an old sci-fi movie, I started to think about the influential people in my life. I thought about my grandmothers and grandfathers, parents, aunts and uncles, teachers, in-laws. The only thing that stuck in my head was the texture of their skin. Holy holy holy skin, wrinkled and paper-thin.

It occurred to me then, and though it is something I've said and written in the past I understood it then in a new and deeper light, that the essence of being a Jew is being simple. Simply keeping to the laws and traditions, year after year, day after day. Your soul is always holy; infinite and holy. But in the persistence of Judaism your flesh, especially your skin becomes holy. And in that moment I understood that children are new flesh, with years and years of investment ahead in order to reach that same holiness of skin that Grandma or Sabba carry with such grace.

It is no wonder then, that the Tikkunei Zohar teaches that the skin is the organ that represents Malchut. (God's Kingship, the Word of the King)

your prayers are always heard

Imagine this:

The King sits upon his throne in a sprawling chamber surrounded on all sides by infinite troops of mighty angels, the Holy Tzaddikim come and go petitioning the King and receiving His direct acknowledgement.

Outside the door to the King's chamber there is an anteroom, there the beinonim crush in a throng around the door passing notes in to be read to the King. They aren't allowed to enter, but they are at least priviledged with passing their prayers into the room.

At the far end of the anteroom the resha'im, the evildoers scornfully loiter, without any access to the King's ear.

That's the way the Tikkunei Zohar describes the scene. It seems to be in direct contradiction to the advice of the Ba'al Shem Tov: You should pray with the certain knowledge that your prayer will be answered.

How can we reconcile the two views? Either the Ba'al Shem Tov was only speaking to the Tzaddikim or else he knows something we don't know.

In fact, more than that, we know how much HaShem loves His children. (ie. infinitely more than the most a parent has ever (unconditionally) loved their child) So how could HaShem let a prayer go unheard? Moreso, a prayer that is unheard is a secret known only to the one who prayed it, and yet we say that the hidden things are for HaShem and only the revealed parts of creation are for us. (הנסתרות לה' אלקנו) These hidden prayers are under HaShem's sole jurisdiction, how could these prayers be refused entry into the King's chamber?

Perhaps Rebbe Nachman can enlighten us: In the past we discussed his teaching that prayers born of utter despair are always welcomed into the chamber of the King. [see prayers cleaving to prayers] The real trick here is that all the half-hearted or unintentioned prayers that loiter around, unable to enter the King's chamber, are embraced and wrapped up within a true prayer born from desperation. HaShem Himself brings such a prayer into His chamber and there, alone with this very precious prayer, all the other prayers are unwrapped and revealed.

Here we see that HaShem created the world with a structure and a system, it's called midah k'neged midah. (or 'a turn for a turn' as translated by R' Lazer Brody) The system (figuratively) handles the day to day function of how the world should work. But HaShem also created prayer as a means to petition HaShem directly, perhaps we could say (again figuratively) a means to balance the system. This is a secret backchannel established with His beloved children and it's actually bidirectional.

You see, we've learned previously one of the most basic (and crucial) lessons of the Baal Shem Tov: When HaShem wants to give us more blessing than we deserve, (according to the system of midah k'neged midah) He wraps that blessing up in a package of suffering. When we experience the suffering and thank God for that suffering recognizing that anything that comes from God is ultimately for our own good, we merit to remove that outer package of suffering and get at all the surplus of blessing hidden within.

That's one direction of the backchannel. The other direction is prayer. As we just learned prayer lets us wrap up our prayers, all our needs and desires, all of our confusion, everything in the desperate prayers of any member of the Jewish people. One person's genuine prayer is enough to raise up the needs and wants of all to God's attentive ear.

Prayer is the general 'upload' channel, but repentance, Teshuvah, is a more specific protocol of prayer. Through Teshuvah we can awaken HaShem's infinite Mercy and bring down limitless influx of blessing. The reason it can bring down so much blessing is because it contains an element of the download channel as well -- we thank HaShem for the sin, for the fact that we failed the test, recognizing that even our failure comes from God, and even our failure was ultimately in our best interest.

In short, there's this whole massive edifice that is the rules and structure of creation, and then there's the entirely personal, entirely private relationship HaShem has with His children. The structure is really there to educate us, and to sustain us as long as we don't know how to access that personal relationship. But don't be mistaken, the entire goal of your existence is discovering and developing that personal relationship.

So if you find yourself standing outside in the anteroom this Rosh HaShanah, don't forget that you have a V.I.P. pass to the afterparty.

father son learning

When we learn with our children, their ability to absorb what we are teaching is directly related to how excited we are both to be learning with them and for them to learn and understand. (Iggeret HaKodesh 15)

We can apply this idea to learning Torah as well. When we sit in front of a sefer, we are sitting down to learn with God. Now there are two ways to strengthen this connection and therefore improve our Torah learning and understanding:

(1) By being excited about learning together with HaShem, we awaken (figuratively) HaShem's excitement to learn with us.

(2) By recognizing that HaShem deeply cares about us and is excited to learn with us, this in turn arouses our own excitement to learn with HaShem.

So these two methods create a feedback loop that reinforces our enjoyment and our comprehension of Torah study. It is no wonder that the true Talmidei Hachamim find nothing as enjoyable as learning Torah, and at once have such a depth of understanding when they learn.

coming of age

A Jewish child is born with the impression of a Godly soul, they only inherit an actual Godly soul when they reach the age of mitzwoth, bar/bat mitzwah.

This is how I explained it to a group of Bar Mitzwah boys:

If your dad gave you a shiny new sports car, you wouldn't hesitate, you'd jump in and go for a spin, let it loose, see what that car could really do.

Your new Godly soul will take you anywhere you want to go (in any world!!) much faster than the fastest planes or rockets ever invented. Jump in and see.

טעמו וראו כי טוב השם - taste and see that HaShem is good.

heavy conversation

We have a mitzwah to pray every day (for a Jewish woman once a day, a Jewish man three times a day) we are required to pray, to talk to God.

That's heavy. That's difficult. That's an awful lot of commitment.

But here's something perhaps you have never thought of:

In the Talmud (Masechet Berachot) we are taught that HaShem also keeps the mitzwoth.

If you are committed to talking to God every day, He is committed to talking to you too.

things I should say to my boss

I would love to make this deadline, but I've got much more important things to do.

In less than three weeks I have to stand before the Creator of all that is and justify my existence. He's the one who is paying the bills, He writes the checks. If I don't satisfy Him, I won't be able to make ends meet. On the other hand, if He's happy with me, I'm on easy street. You could fire me, and I wouldn't even notice.

I have to start working on myself.

Sounds ridiculous to you?

Sounds ridiculous to me too.. that's my problem.

In eighteen days I have to stand before the King of Kings, and I'm affraid I'll just be standing in synagogue, almost completely unaware of my current situation.

Can you imagine, being judged by the King and being so oblivious as to not know what is going on?

What chance do I have if I can't speak in my own defense? I'll be like someone showing up to court drunk.

Thank God He's merciful and graceful, exceedingly patient, infinitely kind and truthful, looks out for the good of all, overlooks transgression, crime, and sin and cleanses all.*

I'm only going to get off because He'll let me off; but shouldn't I at least put in the effort?

Wouldn't it be nice if I could be present for my judgement, maybe thank HaShem profusely for his infinite mercies?

Anyways, that's the way the conversation should go. But of course I won't say it. Year after year, this is what we go through, and we don't say these things, we don't take a month off to prepare (which by the way is the whole purpose of this month of Elul) to take stock, and to get to know God in a personal way. In the month of Elul we say the King is in the field -- He's around, get to know Him, so that when He sits on His lofty throne come Rosh HaShanah, we'll have a clue who it is we're standing before.

He's also our father, so we know even if He doesn't go easy on us, it's all for our own good. But Still. There are babies, who are all but unaware of the existence of their parents, and then there are children who know and recognize their parents, who take great pleasure in the attention afforded them, who want nothing more than to show off a new project or bring home a pleasing report card.

There are even young adults whose successes in the real world are even more precious in their parents' eyes.

And then there are those children who have grown, and wed, and birthed, and brought home grandchildren for their parents' pleasure.

Our mitzwoth are referred to as our children. When we do mitzwoth, real mitzwoth, the kind of mitzwoth that we meant to do, that we rushed to do, that we were overbrimming with joy to do, these mitzwoth are as alive as children. They have a body (the action) and a soul. (the intent)

When we come before HaShem in eighteen days, we don't (really) have to be worried whether or not we will get a favorable judge or a merciful jury, but what if Rosh HaShanah could be like bringing your kids home for a visit with their Grandfather??

That's what it really means to be inscribed in the book of life.

* this is my own translation of the 13 attributes of mercy

throw a tantrum

Want HaShem the way a child wants their Abba.

Don't be affraid to scream your head off, or act entirely irrationally.

When you want Abba, no smooth-talking or calming is going to come between you and your Abba.

Candy is great, and you are happy to gorge yourself on it when you have the time, but don't even consider it when you are in the middle of a fit, demanding your father's attentions.

We think kids are here to drive us (parents) crazy, maybe sometimes they are, but really they're here to show us what it means to really want something.

Their job as children is to show us just how much you can accomplish when truly focused on your goals.

Our job as parents is to give them worthy goals to pursue.

hearing the love

וחרה אף ה' בכם

It's so important not only to pray, not only to learn Torah, but also to find the hidden blessings, the hidden points of light within even the darkest places. (As a matter of principle, we don't seek out the darkness, but when we find ourselves in it, we are required to reveal the light hidden therein.)

Every day, at least twice a day, we say the prayer Shema Yisrael. In the time of the Holocaust, the Partisans in the woods would identify a Jew based on his/her ability to recite the Shema Yisrael. The Shema is in many ways the essence of the Jew, and many a Jew has died with these holy words on their lips.

In the second chapter/paragraph of the Shema, we speak about the performance of the mitzwoth and the negative reppercussions of our transgressions. To me this part of the Shema is always difficult, we are proffessing our love and devotion to God and in the midst of this recounting His capacity to consume us in His holy wrath.

"And He will grow angry with you, and the heavens will cease, a stop to all precipitation, the land will hold back its bounty, and you will be lost from the land."

That's rough. How can we really and truly mean it when we say we love God, when this threat hangs over our heads?

So many times I've set out to try and understand the deeper blessing, the light within this darkness and it has taken me until now to understand the smallest part of it:

When something displeases or angers you, you have a number of potential responses, depending on the importance of the annoyance in question. If it's the weather, you do your best to ignore it. An insect? You swat it away. A piece of paper, toss it in the waste basket. Another driver in traffic? Perhaps a gesture or an expletive but then they're gone.

What about your wife? children? parents? what about your best friend? These are the people that really get you angry. They make you angry because you care about them, because they know you and you know them, because you are intimately connected to them. You don't threaten your college professor that you won't ever talk to them again. You don't threaten to never visit a television reporter.

We are so close to God that He knows we can even take His anger. In hebrew it's rendered and His anger will burn in you. Not only does God dwell amongst us, but even when He's angry his anger is within us. He reveals Himself in this world through us. The heavens 'cease' when He's angry, the land's bounty is withheld, but He is still in us. He threatens to remove us from the land, because it's something of real value, a place to be close, to be intimate with Him. It's what He wants, it's what we want, and so it is withheld.

For one thousand nine hundred and forty one years, we have bourn His anger, and if that's what He's willing to give us then that is what we'll take.

Because all we want is Him.

That's a real relationship.

Someone you care about so much that they make you angry sometimes.

Someone who cares so much about you that your anger won't scare them away.

your body is just clothes for your name

Our name is our soul, our Nefesh. It is also sometimes referred to as Yisrael in general. (Ohr HaHayyim on Parashath Pinhas)

Our name is unique (and relates) to the combination of Nefesh(soul) Ruach(spirit) Neshamah(breath) that we have. (Hesed l'Avraham 5:2)

I imagine they agree and the Ohr HaHayyim was talking more generally. They definitely both agree (and mention) that our negative actions obliterate our name. (שם רשעים ירקב - a villain's name will rot)

Think about this, your name is more you than your body.

When we talk about creation both at the beginning and the end, we mention God and His Name. (existing, and being One (indivisible))

You have a name too. That's the divine image in which you were created. When it is guarded intact, angels, animals, and all of creation are in awe of you.

Use it well.

the prosecution rests

Sometimes, when the world is undeserving and even the Tzaddikim can't sweeten the harsh judgements, HaShem tells the Prosecution aka Satan, "Ok, you're right, I'm going to destroy the heavens and the earth."

At which point the Prosecution realizes it will be destroyed as well, and momentously the Prosecution switches gears and comes to the defense of the world, beseeching HaShem to have mercy on His creation.

[a welcome secret, brought down by the Noam Elimelech in his Likkutei Shoshanah.]

Never stop talking to God

Whatever you are doing, wherever you are, HaShem is listening, waiting.

light up your face

When you perform a mitzwah, think about what parts of your body are involved in performing that mitzwah.

Try to find a way to serve HaShem with each part of your body every week if not every day.

Start with the general breakdown of the body (head, body, right arm, left arm, right leg, left leg) and grow more specific (ears, eyes, nose, mouth, thumb, knee, etc) as the avodah becomes easier and more natural.

In our generation, because so many of us have been here so many times before, and because these bodies will (God-willing) be our last bodies, it's so important to purify and refine them. (our bodies)

Every time we have a holy thought it's so important to bring it down to the level of physical expression, to involve our bodies in this holiness -- if you can't find a natural way to express it, at the very least speak the holy thought out loud, or write it down, express it in a song or dance, or even just clap your hands at the joy of having it -- anything to get it out, bring the light of it down here.

It's really dark outside, don't let it stay that way.

the tzaddik's bread crumbs

The Tzaddik's affect on our lives after his has moved beyond this world:

1. The depth of our love for the Tzaddik in his lifetime and after his death draws down his midot (love of God, fear of God, and pure Faith (emunah) in God) to be clothed within our own minds so that we too can act with these same attributes as we are now able to grasp and understand what we were previously only able to observe from a distance through the Tzaddik's actions and words. 
   
2. When we implement the Tzaddik's lessons in our lives, the light of the Tzaddik shines down upon us, encompassing us, and this inspires us to true teshuvah and divine service.

These are the two general ways the Tzaddik lives on with us even after he has (for the most part) left this world and moved on to the stages that come after life here, as described in the Zohar and explained here by the first Lubavitcher Rebbe in the Tanya, section four, 27th letter.

It seems to me that there is a clear microcosmic example here of our interaction with God: As the Baal HaTanya explains, God both permeates all of creation and ecompasses it. In a more limited sense, the effect a Tzaddik has on our lives is also described in these two ways, one that permeates our minds and one that encompasses them.

[We learned this letter this past Shabbath in the memory (לע"נ) of my father in law, HaRav Meir Benayahu ben HaRav Yitzhak Nissim, ztz"l]

Signs of the times

There is a lot happening in the world. There's always a lot happening in the world. The issue is more of a question of whether what's happening is of interest to anyone.

Yes there are tremendous things I feel happening, amazing shifts to spirituality. But how do I know these things aren't always happening?

When I say I feel something happening, it might make other people more sensitive to the fact that something is happening. Which means it might cascade. It doesn't take much to create a situation where the cascade is so amplified by feedback it creates a tremendous urgency. 

Nowadays, if you get on a crowded plane and start acting nervous and telling people you have a really bad feeling that something will happen, the more serious you get the more everyone will go nuts with panic -- there might be no real danger at all, but you will sensitize others to feelings of danger that always accompany flying and they will feel them and think they are stronger.

The trick is with spiritual developments and progress, being a subjective person, it's very hard to tell the difference between things happening to you and things happening to the world. (At least I know I can't tell the difference.) 

Rebbe Nachman teaches that our own interpersonal relationships mirror what is happening on a macroscopic scale, yet I would stress that we need to really develop the eyes to understand and internalize those ideas. On the other hand, the Baal Shem Tov's Torah may seem a little solipsistic. The BeSh"T says that everything you experience is part of HaShem's communication with you. It's not hard to combine the two lessons and realize that they're closely related, but still, it means that its hard to extrapolate from our own experience about where the world is holding, as the Talmud teaches "the whole world was created just for you." 

When you're young does it mean the world is young? When you grow old does it mean the world is growing old? No. But, there are parallels you can draw. As we saw yesterday, macrocosmic stages also play out on the microcosm. When you grow old, there is an aspect of the world growing old: your generation is aging too, which means the ideas, merits, strengths and weaknesses of your generation are on the wane as a whole. Still, in the world there is a vivifying force of new ideas, merits, strengths and weaknesses in the waxing of another generation. Just as the progress of each day plays out in miniature some form or element of the progress of the year. 

What I'm getting at is this: Everyone knows that the world develops in a cyclical fashion. Yet, at the same time, everyone, unless they really stop to think about it, believes that spiritual growth is linear on the whole. We even have a principle that says as much, "We ascend in holiness but do not descend." This can be said to accurately describe historic progress. (something I once wrote about.) However, this is talking about net ascension. 

In Judaism we have another principle involved in growth and progress: Ratz, running, and Shav, returning. In a very simple sense ratz can be seen as rising and shav as falling. On the whole we're always making progress but to do so we run for a while and then sit/return and rest. It's the tortoise model of progress. It's really the only true way progress happens in the world. A child grows physically, then growth slows and they learn how to use their new bodies, and then they grow again and so on. 

Everything works that way. In cycles. We grow and develop in cycles. Cycles of days, of weeks of months, years and larger landmarks from bar mitzwah to wedding to parenthood to parents of bar mitzwahs, to parents of the bride or groom, to grandparents and so on.

Spirituality too. Yes there is something in the air. Something really deep and spiritual. But it doesn't mean this is the time around when everything we've been waiting so long for has got to happen.

I'm not trying to rain on anyone's parade, I'm trying to teach us to work deeper. Think about it, there are even more amazing implications. In the classic view of what's gone down so far in history, there's been many false messiahs, false hysteria about the coming of messiahs and so on. 

In our "new" view, each wave of that expectance, that new enlightenment, was a period of ratz, historically. It's not that it was 'so close' but didn't happen. It was that it was always getting closer, and we needed to reach that stage to grow to the next stage.

Again we are clearly at a momentous point of running spiritually. Whether this is the last or there will still be more is a great question, what a question! But it's beyond the point. The point is that we teach that the true masters of Ratz and Shav know that the secret of Shav is that it's a form of running too, just a different kind. 

Rebbe Nachman teaches that when we step inside, reach a deeper spiritual level, we find we're back on the outside again; ah, but the outside of the next deeper spiritual level. Ratz and Shav is the same. We "return" to ourselves to seek out the next deeper spiritual level. [From this we can see how it is true that not only 'net' (as opposed to what we said earlier) but even when we speak in 'gross' terms, we are always rising in holiness.]

Whether this is the final lap or not is irrelevant to our work, to our immediate lives, we need to work like it's never going to be done. This is a novel way to understand "lo alecha haM'lachah l'gmor" -- Normally rendered, "you don't have to finish the work, [but you can't give it up entirely,]" On a deeper level it's "you shouldn't work in an attempt to finish it, [instead you should work as if you can keep the pace up forever.]"  In other words don't sprint, jog. That's the way to get the farthest, always pace yourself for the long haul. 

But it's deeper still.

The true masters of running and returning, they know when they crest one wave, not only can they see the farthest, but if they ride the wave down they can propel themselves to the next wave at amazing speed.  [this is discussed outright in the Mishnah in a story about Rebbe Meir Baal HaNess and Rabi Akiva]

When we master the long haul, when we give up trying to worry about when we've reached the end, that's when we're really making the most progress spiritually. Because as long as we think there's an end, how can we relate to God? God's endless. Ein sof.

Want to see Moshiah in your days? Keep your eyes open when you crest the wave, but don't think for a second that you're about to reach shore or else you will exhaust yourself, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and you will give up too soon, maybe minutes too soon.

This is what it means that the Tzaddikim (both of today and those that have long since passed on) live in a perpetual revellation of Moshiah, they're surfing those waves and glimpse the goal every time they crest one.

living in the microcosm

I'd like to fuse two teachings, and from them draw a really deep (new) path to perform avodah today.

Rebbe Nachman teaches (through his principal pupil Rabi Natan) that we should serve HaShem anew every day, as if the world was created today and today is all we have.

The Arizal teaches (through his primary student Rav Hayyim Vital) that there are myriad connections between all of creation, that within any part of creation you may find aspects of every other part.

Taken together, if we want to achieve the pinacle of our avodat HaShem every single day it means each day we must start from the beginning and work our way all the way through to the end.

Yeah, I know that doesn't sound like much of a hidush, but it has a lot of interesting implications.

If all we have is today, and yet we are given a world rife with all manner of spiritual levels and perceptions, then they have to be accessible to us today.

Each day we can live through the 3 regalim, sukkoth, pesach, shavuoth. We get to experience Shabbath. We get to receive the Torah, we get to leave Egypt, free from bondage. Every day we can be forgiven for all our failings and wipe the slate clean. Every day we can start as a novice and become a talmid chacham, a tzaddik, a navi. Every day Rua'h HaKodesh is available to us.

This isn't to say that nothing takes time to accomplish, but it does mean that you can taste every spiritual level every day. We can earn a nefesh, ruah, neshamah, chayah, yechidah each day. Anything you've ever learned about or heard about is attainable, within your grasp, today.

It's not a simple concept it's a really involved one, so I'll try and explain the little bit I can understand: Everything is interconnected. This means that while I might be holding on a very low spiritual level, the level that I'm on is comprised of many different levels, the highest of those share something of the nature of the highest spiritual levels that exist. This means there is a spiritual level attainable today that is akin to 'prophecy' on the level at which you are holding.

Think about, for those who worry about yesterday, think about how much is available to you today, regardless of yesterday. For those of you who hope to attain something some day? Why wait when it's all available to you today? Better yet, if you think it's a one-time thing you will accomplish sometime in your life, know that when you get there, you will realize, wow, there's still so far to go, why not start now? See how far you can get today; not this week, not this year, today. That's a small enough amount of time to work in order to see results.

It's not a trick, it's a reality. But know that to get there you have to pursue with sincerity, with discipline and with all your heart. It's exactly as the talmud promises: "When someone tells you they tried and didn't achieve, don't believe them." God doesn't gain pleasure from seeing you fail. You are the only one comforted by your failure, if you are looking for excuses to give up trying.

What have you got to lose? 24 hours? How much can you attain in that time, you and I both wouldn't believe it? Rabi cried on several occasions, "There are those who earn their [place in the] world [to come] in an hour."