overcoming distractions

Two sources I happened across during the Omer regarding distracting thoughts during prayer: (Machshavot Zarot)

When is the time in Tefillah to sacrifice oneself [ie.mesirut nefesh] before HaShem? When you have a distracting thought. Through sacrificing oneself you can raise up that thought as an offering to HaShem. [paraphrased ~ Likkutei Moharan I:26]

Each thought is a life, complete in itself. Dispelling a thought rather than raising it up is akin to killing it. How do you tell the difference between those thoughts you can raise up, and those you should push away? If the thought comes along with a feeling of being overcome with one's own smallness, then you can raise it up. If, on the other hand, the thought comes with a feeling of hubris, push it away, as it is said, "one who comes to kill you, kill him first." [paraphrased ~ Notzer Hesed (Avoth) 4:3]

In light of this earlier post: Unidentified flying thoughts, we have two more opinions to round out the mix:

Baal HaTanya - Beinonim have no business in raising up these thoughts, it's only a job for Tzaddikim.

Noam Elimelech - Tzaddikim need to shine the light of their awareness on these thoughts to raise them up.

And for good measure:

Rebbe Nachman's next teaching Likkutei Moharan I:27 also goes into why it is the Tzaddik who is most capable of raising up these thoughts and again in I:30 explains how these thoughts end up at the Tzaddik's proverbial doorstep.

In short, there seems to be a consensus opinion that the best way for our generation to do away with distracting thoughts is to ignore them. So, rather than wasting time trying to figure out why a thought distracted you, get back to whatever it was you were praying for before it distracted you!

This is very good news in an age where (1) there are already too many stimuli in one's daily life pulling at your attention every minute, and (2) we're so very good at ignoring things!

Ps. If you are the kind of person who anyways is going to try and elevate these distracting thoughts, I think Rebbe Nachman's advice is best, bitul and mesirut nefesh. It seems the safest route, and also seems to coincide with what the Komarna Rebbe was saying. In fact, if you read the sources carefully, they're all essentially in agreement about this point.

exile as scalpel

Two interesting points I've seen recently in Rav Avraham Azulai's Hesed L'Avraham:

He goes into great detail as to the suffering of the soul in Gehenom, purgatory, but the most important point changes one's whole perspective: The suffering of the soul is not a punishment, it is a purification process for the sole benefit of the soul. Normally we associate Gehenom with the non-Jewish idea of 'Hell,' but there is almost no correllation. Gehenom is a lot closer to vital soul-saving surgery performed on a soul in grave danger.

In that sense it might be possible to say that this world by default becomes a form of surgery with anesthesia. (In the most protracted sense.) Gehenom would be surgery without the anesthesia. Although I think all Kabbalistic texts agree that Gehenom is categorically less painful than reincarnation as a means of treatment for spiritual damage. I believe this is mainly because of the additional damage one will most likely cause in another reincarnation.

The point though, is that Gehenom, with all the rivers of fire, demons, and scorpions, is a therapy aimed at spiritual health, not at causing suffering. [This becomes apparent when we look at Pirkei Avot where we are warned not to think of Gehenom as a refuge after we die. (according to the understandings of the Notzer Hesed) How could Gehenom possibly be a refuge? It's a refuge from taking accountability for one's actions (vis a vis one's sins) because one might be tempted not to repent and simply let the fires of Gehenom cleanse one's soul. Talk about living life on credit.]

The second and related point of interest is that R' Azulai draws connections between the micro and macrocosm, explaining that exile is the spiritual equivalent for the totality of the nation of Israel, as the suffering in Gehenom is for a single Jewish soul. Just as Gehenom is a cleansing process for the soul, the exile is meant to cleanse and purify the Jewish people -- the redemption marks the completion of that purification.

(Hesed l'Avraham 5:12)

veins of torah run deep

When scholars delve into the history and development of Judaism, especially the development of Torah alongside Judaism, one can't help but marvel at how much was lost along the way, at every stage.

The Komarna explains in the opening words of the Notzer Hesed that none of what Mosheh Rabbeinu received from the mouth of God on Har Sinai could be transmitted. (Every word would take more than seventy years to explain)

On the day Mosheh Rabbeinu died, Yehoshua forgot thousands of halachot.

The codifying of the Tanach left out a number of books from that time period. The hashing out of the mishna left a tremendous body of baraita in its wake. The Talmud is but the smallest drop of the knowledge of the Amoraim, whatever could be committed to text, and whatever we haven't lost of that over the years.

This says nothing of the thousands, maybe tens (hundreds?) of thousands of sefarim that have since vanished from the world. (We're not even going into the secrets of the Torah, we have maybe seven extent chapters (Sefer Yetzirah) from the book of Adam rumored to have at least five hundred.)

Beyond all that, even of the Torah we have maintained to this day, volumes seemingly without end, so much of it has transitioned from Torah with practical application (only in the most literal sense, chas v' shalom that someone should think it needn't be learned) to Torah for its own sake. So many practices and Halachot are no longer performed or held today, either from chumrot, kulot, or different minhagim.

But really, if you think about it, it isn't so shocking.

There are some who might look at all this and see evolution, survival of the fittest, or even a readjustment of norms to meet the expectations of modern society, but I believe that is foolishness at best.

The reality is that yes, it's entirely organic, but in a way our everyday short-sighted view couldn't begin to comprehend.

When we look at the entire Jewish people as comprising a single body, one organism that persists throughout time as well as space, we recognize the deeper meaning of the identification of these generations as the heels--the ends of the feet. It begins to dawn on us, from this perspective, that just as there are veins, arteries, sinews, nerves and more that connect the feet with the rest of the body, there are many more veins, arteries, sinews and nerves, that don't quite reach the feet, many, if not most, never even come close.

If Torah is an integral part of the Jewish body, the life force of this body, then the abundance of Torah centralized in the head (Mosheh Rabbeinu and his generations) and the chest (the Mishna/Talmud and their generations) makes the Torah in the feet almost negligible by comparison.

So, rather than being shocked and appalled by what has become of our Torah, we can begin to understand the role and part our Torah in our day plays in the greater timeless body of Israel and Torah.

the shame of poverty

Last night during my Hevruta on Notzer Hesed, I was able to gain a much clearer insight into something I had learned in the past in the Pri Ha'aretz, something that seems to happen a lot.

The Pri Ha'aretz teaches that every single absence that is noticeable in the world is an instance where the Shechinah was forced into exile. She is in exile in the lack. When we pray for her return to her rightful place, then all of that which is lacking in the world will collectively vanish with the restoration of her true status.

It's a difficult concept to picture, but it does illustrate the connection that is often made that we should pray for the well-being (completion) of the Shechinah, rather than for our own personal needs.

Still, I want to bring it down to a level that's a little more within our grasp. Even if it will be a very esoteric grasp, we'll try to get some kind of grasp on the abstract metaphysics of the issue.

The Shechinah, in a sense, represents the revelation of Godliness in the world. Godliness permeates all of existence, but in the default state of this world it is hidden from sight. Any revellation of Godliness is a manifestation we call the Shechinah. 

[One question that arises here is that if we see two different people whose lives are both a revellation of Godliness, this doesn't imply there are two Shechinahs, rather the Tanya explains that it is like sunlight shining through two windows in one room.]

Now, the nature of the Shechinah is that she has nothing of her own. (לית לה מגרמא כלום) And what we refer to as Godliness (that which is hidden) is the source of all the Shechinah's emanations.

Normally, the ideal state of existence is the unification of the Shechinah with the Holy One Blessed be He. Now we aren't talking about two separate entities no matter how it may sound, we are simply talking about uniting the Revelation of Godliness, with the Hidden Godliness; it's all just God. (אין עוד מלבדו - there is none other than He) What this means in more practical or dynamic terms is that the revelation of Godliness is not missing from the world. Whenever a lack of Godliness becomes apparent, the Shechinah (its revelation) is said to be in exile. Because any need or emptiness is a function of the attribute of the Shechinah, of having nothing of her own.

So, now that we kind of understand that idea. We understand perhaps the smallest part of what it means to say the Shechinah is in exile. (If we were delving into this discussion with the aid of describing and explaining the sefirot, some of the points might be more accessible, but others might be more confusing, so we will leave the matter of sefirot aside from this post. For those who would like to see a little bit of the connection, suffice it to say that Malchut which is also called the Shechinah is the vessel within which all of creation (revelation of Godliness) occurs.)

Now, having some basic framework from which to work with, lets try and take another step: When we sin, we cause the Godliness that was invested in that sin to become deeply hidden. We cause less revellation of Godliness in the world, we cause the exile of the Shechinah. The Shechinah, now in exile, is pained or suffers because her poverty, her lack of anything of her own, is revealed to everyone through this apparent lack of Godliness.

When we pray for the sake of the completion of the Shechinah, for the union of the Shechinah with The Holy One Blessed Be He, it is the same as saying we are praying for Godliness to be openly revealed in the whole world. In this way, the Shechinah no longer lacks for anything, she is no longer in exile, she no longer suffers the embarrassment of 'abject poverty.'

When we pray in this way, it not only addresses all of our own needs and lacks but those of all the world, for every need in the world is merely an expression of the Shechinah's having nothing of her own.

Abba!!!

I have been lost in the very deep Torah of Tikkunei Zohar this Elul, so I've had a hard time bringing it down to levels I can comprehend let alone share.

I guess I can see the littlest of what the Komarna Rebbe meant when he said he didn't write a peirush on Tikkunei Zohar because it was too dense.

Not long ago, in the daily Tanya, Rebbe Shneur Zalman explained how a father can only give over a lesson to his son if he first refines his ideas to a very basic level, one which will be palatable to his son's lesser intellect. Secondly, the excitement/desire/love with which the father gives over the lesson to his son has a tremendous impact on how well the son can receive and retain the lesson.

In Elul and on Rosh HaShanah especially, we need to recognize how much HaShem truly loves us that he created this whole world, everything in existence, as a means to make his infinite kindness palatable to our limited selves.

Not only did he bring down the infinity of Torah to a level of ink scrawled on parchment, but He loves us so much that he gave us the Torah as well as six hundred and thirteen mitzwoth with which we may bind ourselves to Him.

When we sin, when we violate part or one of those six hundred and thirteen mitzwoth, it isn't that we are doing something wrong, that we're behaving badly. It is that we are limiting ourselves beyond even our nature. HaShem has come all the way down to earth to be with us, to look us in the eye, and we are unwittingly closing those eyes.

In our generation we no longer know what it means to sin intentionally. To sin intentionally you need to know what you are missing out on. Do we really know? No.

The Komarna Rebbe quotes the Arizal who explains to Rav Hayyim Vital, that we are beings so thoroughly mired in physicality that we can't possibly reach a lofty level, yet every mitzwah we do is all the more precious because of that. The Komarna Rebbe goes on to say that if the Arizal was explaining this about the time in which he lived, how much the moreso nowadays? In fact, the Rebbe goes on, I testify that in our day and age, every Jew, and especially all Bnei Ashkenaz are considered tinok she'nishba, an innocent child who knows nothing and cannot be held accountable for his sins. (Netiv Mitzwotecha, Netiv Emunah:6:10)

HaShem loves us so much. We love Him too. The goal of every mitzwah you do from now till Rosh HaShanah is to open your heart and feel that love, both Him for us and we for Him.

Abba!!!

parable of the baal shem tov

The King's countenance shines out and nourishes all the lands. The goal of every person is to gaze upon the countenance of the King, but the trouble is there are walls in the way. Not only are there walls but there are lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Beyond the scorpions and wild animals there are even more insidious diversions. The King's minions distribute gold and silver and all manner of riches and wealth. Even the most stalwart men look at their arms laden in gold and silver and all the walls and fearsome creatures ahead, their hearts fail them, they console themselves with the riches currently in their possession, and flee. Even though they've already traversed some of the most difficult walls, they fall back.

Only the true son of the King doesn't turn back. Of what worth are the trinkets of gold and silver? He distributes them all in bribes to the guards of the walls, gives them away freely because they are nothing to him. Though the walls may be formidable, how can he give up? Only his Father's countenance will bring him comfort. When he is beset upon by fear and suffering he calls out and his heart shatters into splinters from his great longing to see his Father, the King. His longing is so great that he becomes utterly nullified to it. He calls out to his Father, and because of his great desire, and his Father's great mercy on His son, the King brings him closer until finally all the veils are removed and the true son of the King stands before his Father, the King.

The King tells his son to look out upon all the world, from one end to the other, and suddenly there are no walls to be seen, only an endless paradise of orchards cared for by the loyal and loving servants of the king. Then the King returns only the barest of veils, nothing like the earlier walls, merely enought that the true son of the King might continue to exist.
(paraphrased from memory, i hope acurately, Netiv Mitzwotecha (Emunah 4:1))

I share this parable because so many of my thoughts of late are reactions or understandings pertaining to it.

Oh, and because it's beautiful and makes me want to cry from the sweetness of it.

the friction of progress

An Art teacher in university once imparted, "the worst response an artist can get is no response." People in general like to get some sort of reaction, whether good or bad. It's easiest to see it in children, they're desire for attention is entirely value-agnostic. Children don't mind getting anger out of their parents, as long as they get some kind of attention. Which is the number one reason to ignore obnoxious behavior rather than reward it with a punishment. (as long as you then reward positive behavior, offering them an alternative outlet.)

This nature is true on a spiritual level as well, yet we expect it to be the opposite. If our avodah is easy and everything goes smoothly, we think we're doing great. We need to know to look deeper and work harder. If we aren't hitting any obstacles, perhaps we aren't working on the right things. Perhaps our hearts just aren't in it, and after all it's our hearts that HaShem wants. (רחמנא ליבא בעי)

The Komarna Rebbe (Netiv Mitzwotecha, Emunah 4:5) speaks at some length about how many challengers and accusers come against the Tzaddik. Rebbe Nachman explains that these challengers protect a Tzaddik from judgements or opposition in heaven. The Komarna takes a slightly different tack explaining how the challenges themselves educate a Tzaddik about what he needs to do, and in fact prooves the righteousness of the Tzaddik.

He explains that if you don't experience any opposition, it's a sign that you aren't accomplishing very much. Those people who think they are Tzaddikim, but who never encounter strife are in fact fooling themselves.

To me, who generally avoids conflict, and who clearly doesn't do anything big enough to offend anybody, how do I take these words of Torah? Do I take it as a lesson that I need to be more intrusive and offensive? That I need to upset those around me more?

No. To me, I apply this idea on a smaller level. If my yetzer hara isn't giving me trouble, if life isn't throwing any challenges my way, and everything is going swimmingly, then I need to start to worry. But, if my yetzer is pushing all of my buttons, and small challenges are trying to crush me under their net-weight by teaming up against me, then I can rest assured I'm still making progress.

The goal isn't to find a way to feel comfortable where you are, actually it's the opposite. Just as the best exercize is happening when you're really feeling it, so too, the most spiritual growth is taking place when you feel the effort of it.

To grow, to build, you have to give it your all, you have to feel it.

tapping in

This week has been a grueling muddle. One of those times where everything seems just a little bit challenging and every little event that pops up saps just a bit more of your quickly waning energy. And right in the thick of it, the Netiv Mitzwotecha (Emunah 4:4) reminds me of the basics:

When you are caught up in the middle of a throng of challenges, and you feel unequal to the task of overcoming it, the only way to raise up all those dinim is to shine the light of Torah on them. When we sit and learn and delve to the heart, the innermost part of the Torah through simply learning l'shma (loosely translated: for the sake of heaven) then the heavens open up and the angels ride upon the letters and words of our Torah like chariots, the inhabitants of the upper worlds rejoice, and the sweet warm light of Torah floods out upon all of our challenges.

Put simply, losing yourself in learning brings us back to basics, refocuses us, connects us with the truth once again. Just as HaShem has brought us this far, He will carry us further still.

without within

We've mentioned in the past how the Komarna Rebbe explains that we need to serve HaShem from the level where we are right now. That's what HaShem wants. In the fourth path in his sefer Netiv Mitzwotecha, he explains that HaShem hides Himself within the creation, within our lives. Now, if we knew HaShem was hidden, then He wouldn't be very hidden, would He? So instead He even hides the fact that He is hidden from us. (This is a teaching originally of the Ba'al Shem Tov)

The Komarana Rebbe adds that the geulah itself already begins with the recognition that HaShem is hidden from us. Once we know HaShem is hidden, the knowledge that He is with us, hidden or not, can give us so much excitement and happiness that we already break free of the bonds of galut.

This meshes nicely with another Torah from likkutei Halachoth, (hilchot birkoth HaShahar 3:5-8) in which Rebbe Natan explains that often we are convinced we have a very lowly soul and are incapable of serving HaShem which brings us great disappointment and great failures.

Not so, he explains, the soul of even the lowliest of Israel is such a lofty thing that entire worlds and endless cadres of beings depend entirely on this soul for their continued existence. Even the lowest soul is so much greater than every other created entity, it is a piece of infinite Godliness.

So, when we are low and think HaShem is far from us, and we have no ability to bring about His closeness, we only need to look within ourselves and remember that our soul is awesome in its grandeur and there in this place, at the root of our soul, HaShem is never distanced from us. Not even by so much as the thickness of a human hair.

breadcrumbs from komarna

The stages of avodat HaShem are many, but it helps sometimes to have a guide. The Komarna Rebbe, in his Netiv Mitzwotecha, (Netiv HaEmunah:3 the last few letters) explains three major stages of Avodah in this world:

1. Connecting Malchut to Binah - this is accomplished through cutting oneself off from the pleasures of the world, focusing intensely on Torah study. Yaakov Avinu did this in his avodah to be Yoshev Ohalim, sitting in the tent studying rather than interacting with the enticing world at large of Esav.
   
2. Connecting Malchut to Hochmah - this next stage can only be achieved through engaging the world for the sake of HaShem with deep meditations and Yichudim while performing even the most mundane of tasks. Yaakov Avinu did this in his showdown with Lavan and all of his endeavors while away from home.
   
3. Connecting Malchut to Keter - this final stage takes us beyond the world into the realm of nothingness, where we make ourselves infinitely small in the face of constant awareness of HaShem's Greatness. We see this trait in Yaakov Avinu when he returns from abroad and turns to HaShem as the source of his salvation, rather than his own merit, saying 'I have grown small from all of Your Kindness.'

After thinking about this for a few days I asked my Rav and he agreed with my assessment of this Torah:

1. Malchut to Binah - this avodah is essentially connecting to the pnimiyut, the innermost essence, of the Torah. It corresponds to connecting to Godliness in its most basic sense, Elokut, in the nomenclature of the Baal Shem Tov. (The Baal Shem Tov says that everything in the world has three major aspects Elokut (God), Olamot (Worlds), and Neshamot (Souls))
   
2. Malchut to Hochmah - this avodah is essentially connecting to the pnimiyut of the World. Which corresponds to the Baal Shem Tov's rendering of Olamot.
3. Malchut to Keter - this avodah reaches connecting to the pnimiyut of your Soul. Which is Neshamoth according to the Baal Shem Tov.

I wish we could all experience life in a straightforward and rewarding fashion, but it seems that in our modern era we are vacillating between all three avodahs in a near-constant fashion.

Ironically, it's virtually impossible to do the avodah of Chochmah or Keter without first completing our avodah of Binah.

Since we don't generally have the luxury of stopping what we are doing and starting at the beginning, we need to be aware of and incorporate these ideas into our daily life as much as we can. Perhaps when we get to learn, we can focus on the avodah of Binah, when we're invovled in the day to day we can focus on avodat Hochmah, and when we're stuck in traffic, it's a wonderful time to work on avodat Keter.

Beyond that, we have to rely on HaShem to help us succeed despite everything that stands in our way. We may not be Yaakov Avinu, but HaShem is the same HaShem that helped Yaakov Avinu.

wrapped in white

It is known that when we pray it is important not to make the acceptance of our prayers contingent on our own merits. In fact, it is forebidden to do so. Instead we must hang our prayers on HaShem's infinite kindness.

The Komarna Rebbe, in his sefer Netiv Mitzwothecha, (2:3) explains why: When the influx of blessing is clothed in HaShem's kindness, nothing can taint it, for HaShem's hesed is so infinite and pure that it negates the influence of the other side. When we pray it is therefore of great importance that we beseech HaShem that all of His blessing be founded in His kindness, so that it will affect good and blessing in us and our surroundings, without being commandeered by external forces.

holiness en masse

The Notzer Hesed explains אל תפרוש מן הציבור - don't separate from the congregation - as advice to those pursuing the path of the righteous. Despite the fact that you are working hard at holiness, (separating yourself from your physical desires, the more mundane natures of the world, and are working to cleave to HaShem) don't cut yourself off from the common people. For as you grow in holiness and awareness you must always recognize that they are on a higher level than you. While you are seeking out how to properly serve HaShem and always just beginning on your journey, they are constantly fulfilling the will of HaShem.

He goes on to say don't ask how this could be possible, (how could you be on such a lofty level where you are working every moment of your life and still recognize other simple folk as spiritually higher than you?) if you do it you will ultimately see that it is possible. But, I think maybe we can ask, how would one do it? He makes it clear that it's kind of a נעשה ונשמע - we will do and then we will understand, but perhaps we can still glean some meaning from his words, even if we aren't on the level where we get to see or understand, even if we have yet to begin this journey.

When a person goes against HaShem's mitzwoth, s/he is said to be the lowest of all creations. All of creation, no matter how mundane, are fulfilling the role for which HaShem created them, whereas this person is going against their assigned task.

You might want to argue that the animals, the insects, the fish, etc were not given free will! How can they get credit for fulfilling HaShem's wishes when they have no independent faculty to decide to stray from it? The most complete answer to this question is a resounding, because HaShem declared it so. But, perhaps we can glimpse at the smallest hint of a solution: There is a halachic principle that a person who fulfills a mitzwah which they are obligated to fulfill is greater than a person who fulfills a mitzwah that they optionally could perform, but were not outright required to perform. (גדול המצווה משאינו מצווה) This is counter-intuitive, one would think that a volunteer deserves more credit than someone who is required to do something? The Torah teaches us the opposite, kol haKavod to the volunteer, but the challenge to do something is much greater when you know you are obligated to do it. Even if you don't want to, you still have to. The volunteer only comes from a place of wanting to.

In the same way, perhaps, since the animals were commanded to act the way they do, and they continue to do so, they merit reward along the lines of those who are required to do so and do so. Even though they have no choice in the matter, they still may not want to do it but they still do it.

Similarly, people who go about their daily business with no awareness of HaShem or even really of their own actions, in a way can be compared to animals. (l'havdil) The question of their free will is almost a moot point. In that sense, they go about there business on the level of animals, in the automatic dance of nature. Therefore, they are always fulfilling the will of HaShem, giving no thought to whether they want to or not, without revolution or rebbellion.

True, the Tzaddik is pursuing HaShem and holiness and upholding HaShem's holy mitzwoth, but who is he to take on this job? If one (has v'shalom) wants to take upon himself this task for personal gain or respect, then one has become lower than the animals, lower too than all the simple folk. If one truly wants to serve HaShem, then he is confronted by his ego in numerous guises, his effort is always bent on eradicating his own self-interests. As long as he has any fleck or stain of self-interest, perhaps he can see himself as truly lower than the animals.

It's important even for us to take away basic lessons from this teaching. How often do we judge others harshly because of selfish reasons? How often can we remove ourselves from our deeply ingrained competitive nature and recognize that what we see as a failure in others is really not a flaw at all? If we were impartial, or better yet, if we were concerned for their well-being and success, wouldn't we be encouraging them and laughing about it a lot of the time?

laying foundations

It ocurred to me today that I'm drawn to the study of Kabbalah out of the simplicity of it. No one in his right mind would call Kabbalah 'simple,' yet to me it is the closest thing to the equations that describe the spiritual underpinnings of the world. It is a system that gets down to the simplest clearest expression of the deepest forces in the world. Or at least that is what I try to draw out of it.

It is my hope that from this firm basis I will one day be able to sit down and study Tanach and Talmud as it truly can be studied. Currently, when I open a Humash I see infinite possibilities, meanings upon meanings, I'm drowning in too much information. When I open the Talmud the same is true. There's so much content, so much depth in every word. For me, the Kabbalah is a framework, the foundation, and upon it I hope to build everything else.

There is support for such a view in the writings of the Holy Komarna and the Holy Zidichover. How can I question Tzaddikim of their Holy level?

how i think about "azamra"

Rebbe Nachman has a teaching, colloquiually referred to as "Azamra" in which he explains that we must find the good points in ourselves and in others in order to bring us all over to the side of good. Here is a flow of thought that describes how I understand this teaching of Rebbe Nachman in the context of my learning:

1. Everything I witness was meant to be witnessed by me - to learn a personal lesson about HaShem - Baal Shem Tov [link]

2. We are told that the entire nation of Israel are tzaddikim - the Notzer Hesed says that nothing bad about them is ever true. [link]

3. We must judge everyone else favorably, but we are told not to rely on ourselves until the day we die. - This is a paraphrased teaching from the Mishnah and the Talmud.

4. Mordechai tells Esther that HaShem will save everyone else, but she holds her own fate in her hands. [link]

5. The Baal HaTanya explains that when we recognize our soul as the essence of ourselves, and the body and actions as exterior "clothing" then we can more easily love all Jews. This is because we recognize that while their clothes (ie. their actions) might be dirty, their soul is pure just as our own is. [link]

6. Rav Eliezer Berland, of Yeshivat Shuvu Banim, explains that in order to connect to HaShem we must learn/connect with the whole Torah. [link]

7. Each Jew represents a letter of the Torah, and so we must connect to and love every Jew. [link]

8. Rebbe Nachman explains that we must find the good points in even the lowest of Jews. This act, he explains, can even raise that Jew from the depths and bring them over to the side of good.

9. How does this all integrate?

10. When we are not complete with ourselves, our sins cloud our vision.

11. This clouded vision projects our failings on other people.

12. This is a kindness from HaShem to make us aware of our own flaws so that we can fix them.

13. By judging others kindly and finding their good points, we are repairing the flaws and sins within ourselves.

14. Through this process we bring ourselves over to the side of good, where, free of sin and lies, we recognize the true inherent goodness in everyone else.

15. We see that this whole process is stated simply: the removal of the foreskin from our heart, the letting go of the flaws which separate us and keep us in darkness.

16. Once our heart is rectified, we can learn the Torah from the actions of all those around us, we will know the truth in our hearts. This is the very description of the end of days, when we no longer need to ask questions about HaShem, for we know Him in our hearts.


There is so much more to this, it's barely even the chapter headings, the Roshei Perakim, but I thought perhaps it might help to share it, I am sure others can take these disparate ideas and understand them on far deeper levels than I.

[note: I waited a very long time before posting this]

shattered torah raining down

What happens when our learning is entirely lishmah? The goal of Torah learning is to get to a level where our learning is entirely for the sake of the Shechinah, for HaShem's divine revelation in this world. All the while that we haven't reached that level, our learning can have all kinds of positive effects as well as the opposite. Even though most people don't have the devotion, time or energy to achieve this lofty level of study, the Notzer Hesed explicitly tells us that we don't have the right to abdicate our responsibility to learn Torah altogether--even if we do it out of the best of intentions, namely that we don't want to cause adverse effects to the world.

What kind of effects can our learning have? Rebbe Nachman explains (Likkutei Moharan I:159) that when someone does learn lishmah, that the Shechinah embraces the Torah learned and elevates it up to the heavens where it brings supernal blessing down illuminating the heavens and eart.

When the learning isn't entirely lishmah, so the Shechinah won't have anything to do with it, and the Torah tries to go up to heaven on it's own but angels come and beat it, shattering it into little pieces that fall back down to earth as dew. These little pieces of Torah spread out around the world, and affect each person according to his nature.

To someone who works at serving HaShem, these sparks inspire him to learn and awaken within him the desire to serve HaShem, sometimes they even bring him new inspirations, chidushim in Torah in accordance with his level. On the other hand, if a person strives for benefit in this world, then these sparks awaken in him an even greater desire to toil for the pleasures of this world.

the way to a man's heart is through an analogy about his stomach

The Baal Shem Tov explains that this world is like an ice-cream* store. When you enter the store, they give you a taste of the goods, and then when you want more, they demand money. So too with HaShem, when you first begin to draw close to HaShem, everything comes easily. When you realize you want more, then HaShem makes you work for it.

* I chose the ice-cream store as the particular kind of store - which made for a simpler translation.
** this is sourced in Ketem Ofir 2:19 by the Komarna Rebbe

temporary service outage

I knew I'd heard it somewhere before, but wondered at how true it was, now the Komarna Rebbe confirmed it for me: In the future, the Leviim and the first-born will return to serve in the beit hamikdash. (Something that was taken away from them and given to the Kohanim in the midbar.)

Source: Ketem Ofir 2:18 (I believe he is referring to teachings of the Ariz"l)

world of the heart

The Ketem Ofir 2:14 (Rebbe Yitzhak Isaac of Komarna) explains that the heart is a microcosm of the person: The heart itself is like the body, like the 22 hebrew letters through which HaShem created the world, and the blood that flows through it is like the neshama, like the crowns on the letters.

missing the obvious

A Simple Jew has dealt with Rebbe Nachman's (Likkutei Moharan I:282) Azamra Torah a lot lately. Recently comparing relating the relevancy of the pomegranite, the rimon as an image in which Chazal clothed that Torah.

I wanted to extend the metaphor a little further. If even the lowliest Jew is filled with Mitzwoth like the rimon, then we could look at a rimon to illustrate how we perform Azamra.

First we look past the skin and the first inner layer of fiber. Beneath which we see some beautiful seeds peeking through. The deeper we go, the more seeds we find, but we need to keep digging past the white fiber which still hides most of the contents of the rimon.

When you really want to get at the seeds of the rimon, you don't delicately peel away layer by layer.. you crack that baby in half. All at once the full abundance is visible, and all that was needed was a little more additional brute force in the beginning.

When you try to find the good in another Jew, don't gently peek beneath the surface. Go at it with gusto, jump into the depths and immediately be awed by their spiritual beauty.

When you look at a Jew's actions and try and find something good about them, all you are looking at is the clothing of their soul, not their soul itself. When you look at a Jew's middoth, you are looking at lowest aspects of their soul. When you simply recognize that they are a Jew, you can look directly at their deepest neshamah, the yid/yud, the untaintable essence of their soul.

When we stop to look at a particular aspect of a Jew, we reduce them to a tree, when they are really the forest.

I think this is the secret of (Shir HaShirim 6:3) אֲנִי לְדוֹדִי וְדוֹדִי לִי, הָרֹעֶה בַּשּׁוֹשַׁנִּים - I am to my love and he is to me, he who looks in the shoshanim. (the Notzer Hesed explains that the shoshanah is the uncorruptible essence/point of the Jewish soul) That kind of love only comes by being overwhelmed by the whole, and not by being infatuated with particular specifics.

Ever since I learned the Notzer Hesed's comment/statement/testimony that anything negative you ever hear about another Jew is an outright lie, if I'm judging another Jew harshly, I know it's me who will suffer.

kiss kiss

כל הנשמה תהלל י-ה - the whole Neshamah praises God. We repeat this passuk twice in pesukei d'zimra every morning after Ashrei.

Last night I read in Ketem Ofir, (2:9) the Komarna Rebbe's commentary on Megillat Esther, that this passuk has twice the gematria of the word נשיקה, meaning kiss. This passuk, the Komarna Rebbe explains, hints at the very high level of attachment and love the Jewish people feel towards HaShem, and vice versa. So, not only do we hint at these two kisses by saying this passuk every day, we repeat the passuk a second time, to hint at even more kisses.

Kissing is a very high spiritual union, which happens to be the union out of which the Angels were created. To me, it makes sense that this union is referenced here in the morning prayers, in the section that refers to the world of Yetzirah, which is the world of the Angels.

What's interesting though is that on the very next verse, (Megillat Esther 2:10) in which it describes how Esther didn't reveal her nationality or her pedigree, the Rebbe explains why even talking about these things (the secrets of Torah which are the meat of his commentary on the megillah) isn't a problem: The Shechinah, represented by Esther here, wasn't to reveal her secrets until the the end of days, and only on the heels of Moshiah was permission given to reveal the secret and highest level of Torah in the world. Since permission was granted to the Arizal, it is now permitted to learn and teach the inner secrets of the Torah in public, whereas before even great Torah scholars were not always permitted to be involved with them.