the living dead and the dead who live still

The Tzaddik falls seven times and rises. Why does the [Righteous] Tzaddik undergo reincarnation? [as opposed to the Sinner who is given three reincarnations, three chances to right his wrongs, before he is instead purified in Gehenom.] The Tzaddik lowers himself [eg. is reincarnated] in order to raise up those who thought of repentance but never acted on it.
(End of Tikkun 32, Tikkunei Zohar)

Abba!!!

I have been lost in the very deep Torah of Tikkunei Zohar this Elul, so I've had a hard time bringing it down to levels I can comprehend let alone share.

I guess I can see the littlest of what the Komarna Rebbe meant when he said he didn't write a peirush on Tikkunei Zohar because it was too dense.

Not long ago, in the daily Tanya, Rebbe Shneur Zalman explained how a father can only give over a lesson to his son if he first refines his ideas to a very basic level, one which will be palatable to his son's lesser intellect. Secondly, the excitement/desire/love with which the father gives over the lesson to his son has a tremendous impact on how well the son can receive and retain the lesson.

In Elul and on Rosh HaShanah especially, we need to recognize how much HaShem truly loves us that he created this whole world, everything in existence, as a means to make his infinite kindness palatable to our limited selves.

Not only did he bring down the infinity of Torah to a level of ink scrawled on parchment, but He loves us so much that he gave us the Torah as well as six hundred and thirteen mitzwoth with which we may bind ourselves to Him.

When we sin, when we violate part or one of those six hundred and thirteen mitzwoth, it isn't that we are doing something wrong, that we're behaving badly. It is that we are limiting ourselves beyond even our nature. HaShem has come all the way down to earth to be with us, to look us in the eye, and we are unwittingly closing those eyes.

In our generation we no longer know what it means to sin intentionally. To sin intentionally you need to know what you are missing out on. Do we really know? No.

The Komarna Rebbe quotes the Arizal who explains to Rav Hayyim Vital, that we are beings so thoroughly mired in physicality that we can't possibly reach a lofty level, yet every mitzwah we do is all the more precious because of that. The Komarna Rebbe goes on to say that if the Arizal was explaining this about the time in which he lived, how much the moreso nowadays? In fact, the Rebbe goes on, I testify that in our day and age, every Jew, and especially all Bnei Ashkenaz are considered tinok she'nishba, an innocent child who knows nothing and cannot be held accountable for his sins. (Netiv Mitzwotecha, Netiv Emunah:6:10)

HaShem loves us so much. We love Him too. The goal of every mitzwah you do from now till Rosh HaShanah is to open your heart and feel that love, both Him for us and we for Him.

Abba!!!

good and stubborn

Last year during Elul, my wife and I were trying, hopelessly, to get to the Kotel for selichoth one night by car. The old city was so backlogged, we sat for two hours before we fled through the Zion gate.

While in the car we joked about everyone honking their horns for Moshiah.

This past motzaei Shabbath, remembering back to last year, my wife suggested that perhaps we were supposed to beg and plead and adamantly demand Moshiah's arrival. In this way we would take our stiff-necked nature and bring it to some positive use.

We know that a ba'al teshuvah who returns with all of his or her heart is not only accquitted of his (or her) sins, but HaShem actually counts those sins as merits in the ba'al teshuvah's interest.

Perhaps the final teshuvah of Klal Yisrael is to redeem our stubborness as a midah tovah, a beneficial attribute.

In this way perhaps all of the nation's communal sins would be transformed to universal merits.

a stitch in time

Rav Shalom Arush mentions in one of his CD lectures (something about Simcha--i didn't see the CD, only heard it) that Rebbe Nachman explains the only way to reach true awareness that everything is for the good, true emunah, true and intimate knowledge of HaShem's constant presence: Doing cheshbon nefesh every day.

What does that mean? If you want to develop a personal relationship with HaShem, you need to do teshuvah every single day. If you don't set time aside, and really review your day and confess and regret each and every cheit, (sin) you won't be able to experience HaShem. Instead, all your transgressions will cloud your spiritual awareness of HaShem and you will essentially be living in the spiritual dark-ages.

While I was giving a dvar Torah on Shabbath, (Shoftim) I mentioned Elul, and how the King is in the Field. In Elul, HaShem makes Himself accessible to everyone. The rest of the year, we need to approach the palace, enter rooms within rooms and plead and beg to receive an audience with the King. But, in Elul, the King is in the field. Right there with us, the peasants. 

The juxtaposition of the two ideas made me realize a deeper message: The nature of 'the King is in the field' is a result of the deep teshuvah that is happening in Elul. Access to the King is directly proportional to teshuvah. We can have the close relationship with HaShem of Elul year round if we do the avodah of Elul, teshuvah, year round.

I believe I read a long time ago that Elul embodies the passuk השיבנו ה' אליך ונשובה, (return us to you, HaShem, and we will return) and the rest of the year embodies the passuk, שובה אלי ואשובה אליכם. (return to me [Israel] and I will return to you) When I mentioned this relationship to Rav Raz Hartman he clarified it for me. Elul is when HaShem does Teshuvah and comes close to us. The rest of the year we do Teshuvah to come close to HaShem.

The important thing to realize is that, as Rebbe Nachman teaches, Teshuvah is the fundamental building block of any relationship with HaShem. Elul is special because of the special ease with which teshuvah can be done in Elul.

If we stop to think about it, it's obvious, what does Teshuvah mean? Returning. Coming back to HaShem. Closing the gap.