exile of the willing

The Ohr HaHayyim explains that, in the beginning of Shemot, HaShem counts Yaakov Avinu's descendants (a second time) to show that each one of them approved of going into exile. Just as Avraham accepted the necesity for exile when HaShem explained it to him, so too Yaakov's children and grandchildren recognized the need for the exile, and accepted it upon themselves. 

That's a really novel take on the exile. We welcomed and accepted it, aware of what spiritual benefits would eventually come of it: Most notably the reception of the Torah.

I had always wondered why it was that once they buried Yaakov Avinu they had returned to Egypt. Couldn't they have just moved back? The famine was over? I always looked at this as an example of exile-based Judaism today -- they have the state of Israel, and still they'd rather live in Florida.

Yes, there are many explanations of why the exile is so important, (to redeem all the souls, the sparks of holiness that were scattered throughout the world during its creation, for one) but I've never really thought about a national exile of choice. 

This is at the heart of the Israel crises. We all want to be back in Israel, reunited as one people, but have we finished what we went into exile to do? This is the uncertainty, this is the divide.

return your exiles

Every time you catch yourself somewhere out-of-body, whether you are imagining a beach-side vacation or a hot cup of coffee at starbucks, or just plain wishing you were somewhere else, you are in a mini exile.

You are expressing a lack in the current state of things, denying HaShem's imminence and hand in the state of your immediate world.

Stop, and return from your exile. Recognize that whatever it is you'd rather be doing is, deep down, a placeholder for 'connecting to HaShem.' Realize that you could be, right now at this very instant, fulfilling that deepest desire, wherever you are. Connect. Return.

[for extra credit:] Next, realize that whatever it is you were in the middle of (while prefering to imagine some place else) is exactly what you needed to be doing, and where you needed to be to best serve your purpose of connecting to HaShem. What was boring or frustrating or outright painful is what can now be exciting and timeless.

Now assess and decide, maybe I should be doing something else? The answer might still be 'yes.' If so, go do it.

Don't make the mistake of thinking this kind of exercize will make you a shallow person, just the opposite is true!! Sitting around doing something mindlessly while you are busy dreaming about something else will definitely make you a shallow person.

dreams of fusion

In light of the Baal Shem Tov's explanation of how connecting to HaShem (as the root of all earthly pleasure) in thought allows one to experience the revellation of HaShem in dreams, we can greatly expand our understanding of an important mitzwah.

During the time when a woman is niddah, she is forebidden to her husband. Clearly this is a very strong metaphor of exile, of galut. The same couple who was reunited as one flesh must now be separated and distanced, could this be any closer to a text-book understanding of HaShem's relationship to Israel in exile? It can be a very depressing time for a couple, and it certainly is a very serious time as kalut rosh (behaving lightheartedly (or light headedly more literally)) is forebidden.

It goes without saying that it should not be a depressing time, as maintaining a happy demeanor is at all times one of the greatest mitzwoth. The Ariz"l explained once that all of his accomplishments were due to his great joy in performing HaShem's will. So, at least in theory it shouldn't be a depressing time, but theories only work on the head, they don't hold much sway on the heart.

The Baal HaTanya explains that when one is very distant from HaShem and feels no connection, one of the best ways to open our hearts to prayer is to beg HaShem to have mercy on our pour innocent Neshamah, she, who is so far from her father's house, she who has done nothing wrong, who has been an innocent bystander in all of our wayward journeys.

From this we can stretch our horizons and applications of metaphors just a little, and understand something I believe I've mentioned in the past. That in the time of niddah, the husband has the unique ability to awaken tremendous rachamim on the nation of Israel. For he can connect in the most simple way to HaShem, who is exiled from Israel in her period of niddah. (aka galut)

Now that we have begun to understand the Baal Shem Tov's explanation of getting past the physicality and in touch with the essence via our dreams, we can delve to a new level of understanding niddah.

During niddah the husband and wife are forebidden to one another physically. In such a state, they can begin the avodah described by the Baal Shem Tov in understanding and connecting to the root source of their desires. The root source of their desires being the revellation of godliness in their spouse. This connection, when correctly recognized and acknowledged in thought and understanding, leads to a very deep spiritual unification in their dreams.

This is a closeness of spirit that was never possible in the same way when they were permitted to one another. It is only when they are forebidden uniquely to one another that they can aspire to connect their intimate desires on a purely spiritual level.

In this light it is amazing to understand that physically the most fertile moment in their relationship is the end of the niddah period when they are in such close connection spiritually and they are finally brought together in physical union as well.

Here, we can peek at the depth of the mitzwoth and their underlying structure. HaShem's ways are truly complete.(תורת השם תמימה) The multiple levels of closeness and distance, and the interaction of these forces, play a symphony of unification that allows two parts of a single soul to momentarily reconnect with such fusion as to actually taste HaShem. (טעמו וראו כי טוב השם)

From this level of specificity, (פרט) we can connect back to the whole (כלל) and see how the progression of history is a similar interplay of centrifugal and centripetal forces that in concert forge the union between HaShem and klal Yisrael.

Hopefully we can understand perhaps a little of our minor role in this universal drama through our intramarital dynamics, and find joy and inspiration in fulfilling our part.

a closing teaching

On the last page of Masechet Horayot, (14a) there's a difficulty: The Rabbis didn't know whether to take Rabah or Rav Yosef as head of their yeshivah. They broke it down like so: Is it better to have a Sinai (someone who knows the whole body of Jewish Halachah in a rigorous structured understanding) or a Oker Harim?(lit. one who uproots mountains, figuratively someone who has a very sharp mind and can see to the heart of any matter.)

Because of their great difficulty they sent word to Jerusalem to see what the Sages of Yerushalayim had to say on the matter. They said something very simple: Everyone needs the wheat merchant. (הכל צריכין למרי חטיא) What does this mean? Rav Steinsaltz (bringing a number of commentators) explains in his insights into the Talmud that this means that Even the Gold and Silver merchants need the wheat merchant in order to survive, but the wheat merchant can always live off his own stock. In simpler terms, the Rav possessed of a very sharp mind but a lesser knowledge of the Halachah will always ultimately need to rely on the Rav possessed of a complete knowledge of Halachah. His reasoning may be perfect, but his reasoning is only as good as the information he bases it on.

In the end the Rabbis weren't convinced and appointed Rabah (the uprooter of mountains) anyways, that isn't what interests me. What interests me is that the wisdom of Yerushalayim and the Torah of Yerushalayim is something totally different from that of the Exile.

What's more important? Studying and reviewing and delving into the knowledge of those that came before. That is the root of the wisdom of Yerushalayim. Generating knew knowledge and knew understanding is the Torah of Exile.

It's ironic that one would think things would be reversed, in Exile it would pay to hold on to what came from before, a pure untainted source. In Yerushalayim, close to the source (כי מציון תצא תורה) one would think that knew understandings and knew knowledge would be of primary importance.

Why is it the opposite? We, at are root, are created to pursue what is most inaccessible to us. This drive derives from our soul's constant desire to pursue HaShem, the most hidden. (a description of this can be found in Likkutei Moharan I:66 where he illustrates the idea: baiting a child to greatly desire something simply by giving it to them and then grabbing it away again.)

In Exile, where plainly all we have is what came with us, (namely our past) what we lack most, and so what we seek most is newness, new understandings new knowledge.

In Yerushalayim, where Torah flows freely and where Prophecy is rooted, new understandings, new insights, and new knowledge are all abundant. What we lack and desire in Yerushalayim is to connect to the past, to hold tight to the whole corpus of Torah and Halachah, so that we can clearly and safely navigate the torrent of newness that is life in Yerushalayim.

galut and the torah of the ways

I will be in the states for the next two weeks, b'ezrat HaShem I will be able to post from there; but if it happens only rarely, then may my time be spent absorbing new Torah to share and raise up when I return.

There is an understanding that galut is good for personal growth, and that the deepest Torah is revealed only along the way. May this trip be a galut that reveals new and deeper levels of Torah.

forever bound

I was learning Hesed l'Avraham (1:23) this morning on the way to work, something I only get to do if I don't have to drive. He was speaking about the Shechinah and the Mishkan, and it occurred to me that many parents can identify (l'havdil) with HaShem's desire to maintain a presence with their children no matter where they may go. Hence, the Shechinah goes with us even into Galut.

Which lead me to see the cellular phone in a whole new light. The cellphone is, l'havdil, the aspect of the Mishkan in our daily lives. Through it, we may remain in contact with those closest to our heart and soul no matter where we go.