really learning torah

We often worry about what we should be learning. Even while we learn a particular sefer or seder, we wonder if we wouldn't benefit more from the learning of a different tract. The answer is clearly no.

When we're learning Torah, when these thoughts come up it obviously means we aren't focusing on our learning. If something doesn't really appeal to you it is most likely that it is in fact really important for you to learn, and yet in order to reach the sweetness of this sefer, you simply need to get through the bitterness, the peel, just like with most fruit.

After all, who put this sefer in front of you? Who orchestrated the entire situation in which you now find yourself asking this question? HaShem.

There are two schools of Torah learning, the school that says learning should be entirely for its own sake, and the school that says learning should be in order to connect to HaShem. 

According to the Torah entirely for its own sake school, what could be better than a sefer you feel entirely detached from? Voila! a perfect opportunity to learn purely for the sake of learning, after all you already know you don't want to learn this sefer.

According to the school of learning in order to connect to HaShem, does the sefer limit HaShem? Maybe you should learn something else that makes you feel closer to HaShem, but do you honestly think you can't connect to HaShem through the sefer currently in front of you? Also the Baal Shem Tov teaches that sometimes HaShem hides himself in two levels of hiddeness such that He is hidden and we don't even know that He's hidden. So, there's a chance another sefer might make you feel closer to HaShem, but you might not even know how hidden He actually is. With the book in front of you, you know for sure He's hidden -- voila! only one level of hiddenness, He's now that much easier to find, guaranteed.

There are occasional reasons to stop learning particular sefarim, but they are pretty extreme: 1. If a sefer is making you depressed, stop learning it for a while. 2. If a sefer is inflating your ego it's a good sign you aren't ready for it. 3. If a sefer is making you think about things you shouldn't be thinking about, you have to work on yourself first. 4. If a sefer is actively otherwise interfering with your avodat HaShem, you should look into it. In all these cases you need to get help from a Rav/Rebbe who can guide you. It is almost always possible to overcome these challenges with the right help from a Rav/Rebbe but sometimes the dangers aren't worth the returns. (ie. if a sefer is making you depressed, that's really dangerous, likewise if it's encouraging your ego.)

In short, barring those extreme circumstances, it's important to give a sefer another chance. The first step is to remind yourself why it is you are learning Torah at all, then what your goal is, (ie. connecting to HaShem) then whether you have really been true to your goals vis a vis the sefer in question.

As the Baal Shem Tov taught, HaShem creates the walls in order for you to prove you really want to get to Him. (Randy Pausch in his 'Last Lecture' said something similar but a couple hundred years later.) The Maor Einayim actually drove the point home when he explained that a sefer is just a collection of letters, when you sit down and open the sefer, HaShem puts the wisdom into the letters, forming words, sentences, ideas etc. In other words, the letters in the book are a conduit to the Wisdom which HaShem constantly places (and re-places anew each moment) in the Torah.

If you aren't overpowered by the words on the page in front of you, then take another look and focus a little more. They can and will move you, if you make room for HaShem and let them do so.

What happens in vegas stays in vegas

This common catch phrase of the modern day, "What happens in vegas stays in vegas," has a lot to teach us. I was thinking about it's analog (lehavdil) in Shabbath. About how one might say, and I have a tendency to lean that way, that what happens on Shabbath stays in Shabbath. Meaning Shabbath is completely divorced from the rest of reality and whenever I return there, I've forgotten everything else, it's my safe sanctuary from whatever else might be going on in the world.

But that isn't really what Shabbath is about, and that really isn't the way Shabbath works. In fact, our Shabbath experience is directly impacted by our preparation during the week. Likewise, our week hinges on our experience of the Shabbath that preceded it. In fact, there's a teaching of the Maor Eynayim (see: two is really just one) that explains that if we were to prepare for and keep one Shabbath properly, then all the following Shabbatoth would always work out nicely. This is a result of how much of an effect Shabbath has on the following week, and how much of an effect that week has on the following Shabbath. Once you get the ball rolling, Shabbath just gets better and better. 

This is the fundamental difference between a kli, a vessel, in kabbalah, and a klipah, a shell. A kli also means a tool, it contains in order to achieve some end beyond itself. An example might be a reservoir that stores water for an entire city, so that the city can draw off the water little by little as needed. A klipah, a shell or husk, receives but never gives back, it serves no purpose other than to receive. In biology we might describe a kli as a symbiote, while a klipah would represent a parasite.

When the Kabbalah discusses a mosquito it is viewed as the lowest of creations, because "it takes but does not give." The only creature below a mosquito is a human who chooses voluntarily to take and not to give. Otherwise, when a person is generous, choosing to receive from HaShem in order to pass on the goodness to all those in need, a human is the highest of all creations, even higher than the angels.

So, reexamining the motto, "What happens in vegas stays in vegas," we can see that the inherent values of vegas are those of receiving and keeping, without any interest in giving at all. Let's make sure all of our mitzwoth aren't vegas-style mitzwoth. May we learn in order to teach and to do, rather than just to know. May we act in order to reveal HaShem's light in the world rather than to receive reward.

May whatever we do with our lives make profound (as opposed to profane) waves in all our environs.

updated: If we stop to think about this a second more. The motto could be applied nicely to this world. What happens in this world, (olam ha'zeh) stays in this world. Whenever we do anything that has no bearing beyond the immediate now in olam ha'zeh, then that whole action stays in this world [forever.] When we focus our actions on transcending this world, [moving beyond ourselves] then our actions are always outside it, beyond it, and reach to the next world, the world to come, olam ha'ba.

repackaging good

It occurred to me today, while I was waiting in line to pick up some lunch and I saw a Pepsi Max (r) machine that bore the advertisement, "one calorie, maximum taste!" That the point of advertising is to associate a name or brand with something good. The goal is not just that when you think of that brand you think of that 'something good,' but that when you think of that 'something good,' you think of that brand.

Since everything created that is ultimately good for us comes unquestionably from HaShem, associating another name besides HaShem with it, in a way intended to associate that good with that name, borders on Avodah Zarah in a way. (Or at the very least me'ilah - using something that is dedicated Holy for one's own unholy purposes.)

As a Jew it is our responsibility to recognize that all the goodness in the world comes from HaShem. טעמו וראו כי טוב השם - taste and see that HaShem is good. It's not a hypothetical statement, but an instruction to recognize and taste the goodness of HaShem in all things.

Next time we say "I like x because it tastes better," just remember on the inside, that 'x' has nothing to do with the taste, the taste is just another example of HaShem's goodness. We can certainly do (and should do) hakarat haTov (recognizing the good) in the effort of 'x' helping to make this good taste available to me, even if 'x' is doing it for their own profit. But, the goodness itself should never be associated with 'x', instead it should be recognized and really and truly originating with the Master of the world.

veils of kindness

Today is the Hillulah of Rebbe Menachem Nachum of Chernobyl, the Maor Eynayim. To check out my last twenty posts relating to Torahs of the Maor Eynayim click here. Heichal Hanegina has a write up with stories about him as well, here.

As I'm holding in his Likkutim right now, this Torah comes from Parashath VaYakhel:

I've actually been thinking a lot lately about the interaction of the first two berachot of Shemonah Esrei, the Amidah, and how HaShem's Hesed and Din, his kindness--his desire to give, and his judgement--his ability to withhold interrelate.

From the Berachot, the first Berachah (which represents HaShem's Hochmah, His Wisdom and the root of His Kindness, His Hesed) talks about HaShem's constant protection of Avraham and all of his descendants. The second berachah (which represents HaShem's Binah, His Understanding, and the root of His Din, His withholding) is full of all of HaShem's many kindnesses, he raises up the fallen, he heals the sick, brings rain, and generally administers his world with Hesed, even to the point of raising the dead.

My question is, why does the Berachah which relates more closely to HaShem's Din actually discuss more of HaShem's Hesed? In fact, the only mention of Din in the berachah is offhandedly describing the hardships that HaShem is fixing.

The answer is a very simple one when we stop to think about it: HaShem's desire to bestow kindness upon us is unbounded, totally infinite. We as finite beings are unable to receive the full brunt of HaShem's kindnesses and expect to walk away unscathed. The true and deepest reason for HaShem's Din in the world is not to cause us harm but rather to prevent our harm. By moderating and holding back the lion's share of HaShem's Hesed, we are able to receive His kindness unscathed. In this sense the true enabler of HaShem's Hesed is His Din.

Perhaps this is why the first berachah ends with the statement that HaShem protects Avraham. His truest and deepest kindness is that He has a side of Din as well.

The Maor Eynayim explains this idea in a nice simple illustration: He explains that all the created worlds (עולמות) are basically veils that shade us from the full brightness and glory of HaShem, dimming His light to a level that we can perceive and receive without being annihilated. This, he explains, is why the word Olam, (עולם) meaning world, is rooted in the word He'elem (העלם) meaning to hide.

no other

[This is my 500th post, maybe 400 of which have been divrei Torah. I thank HaShem, to whom I forever owe my being, with all my heart that though I have so much work left to do, I was able to achieve something small for the betterment of the world and klal Yisrael. May HaShem inscribe us all in the book of life, may He fill our hearts with love and awe, our souls with Torah overflowing. אין עוד מלבדו]

The Meor Eynayim explains that all the best things in life actually come from the highest realms, and so, praying for them takes the most effort, because there are so many gates to bring them down through in order to reap the benefits down here in this, the lowest of worlds.

Things like, children, a proper (shidduch) match, parnasa, rain, refuah (healing) they all derive from the highest purest supernal light.

I want to go into the details a little of what this means and what it can teach us, and then perhaps deviate on a tangent.

Drawing down HaShem's blessing in any form can always be referred to and described as a yichud , a union. Just as getting something from someone else requires relating to them in some way in order to elicit what you want, so too, receiving blessing from HaShem follows parallel 'rules.'

Here though, the process of drawing down divine light differs from obtaining things from other people. In our world, people are created in such a way that everything is exterior to ourselves. If you want money from your employer (or your parents) you ask them for it and they reach into their wallet and produce it. If you want a candybar, the store owner hands it to you from the shelf, etc.

It's only when we get into more intimate human interactions that it ceases to be a relationship of objects exterior to oneself. Let's say you want to know what your friend is thinking, or you want to hear a story, then the person needs to reach inside themselves and produce something for your. In the process they enter the recesses of their intellect or the depths of their heart, and then take that thought or feeling and winnow it down into words and sentences. Finally they turn those words and sentences into sounds through the use of their mouth and you get to hear whatever they choose to tell you.

When it is money or merchandise or clothing or anything else exterior, we can always take that thing by force. But when it is something that exists only within the person, we have to find a way to draw it out of them, we have to convince them to be willing to draw it out.

Because as the Rambam explains, nothing is external to HaShem, everything we desire from Him we must obtain through convincing, through drawing out.

Similarly, everything we want whether it be material or no, comes from HaShem's depths, from what we might refer to as His mind. Just as we never receive what is actually in our friends' mind, rather what they express through their mouth, so too HaShem's light only reaches us through similar filters and tzimtzumim. (translations)

Our prayers ascend to the heights of His intellect, and attempt to draw out His desire to bestow blessing upon us. Now, because He loves us greatly, he always is arroused to desire that which is best for us, and always replies to our prayers with what is appropriate to our needs.

Both on the way up to His highest intellect, and down back to this world, there are many stages, many filters, many tzimtzumim. On the way up, there are Angels appointed to translate, clothe, and crown our prayers with raiments appropriate to each of these levels, so that our prayers are always in the correct context. On the way down, God's light drips in the smallest of drops, (the most the world can possibly bear) to provide precisely what HaShem would like to bestow upon us, and at each level it is clothed and fleshed out to make it appropriate to our own corporeal context.

One of the metaphors used to describe this process is rain. When the thunder (prayers) reach the clouds (which represent the intellect) it draws out droplets of rain which fall to the earth, enter the ground, get pulled up into a tree, and eventually through nourishing the tree produce fruit.

In the exact same fashion a child, which starts as a mere desire in the father's mind, ends up a new born baby.

The Likkutei Halachot on Tefillin (end of Halachah 4) talks about this same idea as regards the writing of the tefillin. Reb Natan explains that the white klaf (parchment) is the clouds, the intellect, the pure unrefined and unrevealed light. It is only through the black letters that are scrolled with a quill onto the page, that the light is drawn out and channelled.

I never before understood this exactly so. The letters, I knew, were bound together and ordered through the universal light. (the klal) But only now do I begin to see how it is that the parchment represents this universal light, and the letters the channels that draw out and clothe this light in a manner that we can receive.

Beyond this, we know that the Jewish people are the letters of the Torah. We are the channels and the clothes through which the universal light of HaShem is garbed and filtered so that it is palatable to the rest of the physical world.

This is our nature, there is nothing we can do to hide or change this. Every thought, every feeling, every word, every act of ours determines how HaShem's light is revealed down here in this world. We can turn it into something despicable or we can turn it into something sublime, something breathlessly beautiful. The only thing we can't do is run away from this reality.

Jews are Jews and will always be. The divine light within you is shining for anyone who has the eyes to see. The beauty of HaShem's light has the power to eradicate any blemishes we may leave on ourselves or on the world. Teshuvah is the process where we refine ourselves so that this light can shine most clearly, where we recognize that HaShem's light is always creating the world, and that we would like to play a part in it, instead of being an obstacle that makes everyone else's world a little bit darker and dirtier.

[500 years is the distance between each world. May we be zocheh to the next level, the next world; and may we always rise from world to world, a praise and glory to the Holy One blessed be He.]

that little voice in your head

On פרשת ויקרא (VaYikra 1:1) the Maor Eynayim explains that the small א (aleph) in the first word, ויקרא teaches us that God shrinks (by way of צימצום) himself down to fit inside each one of us, and calls to us all to do teshuvah, to return to HaShem, we just don't always recognise that call.

To my limited understanding, in the passuk, the call is to Mosheh, because Mosheh represents the da'ath, the connection with God. So God is calling to the part of each of us that is meant to connect.

The important message here is that God is calling to each of us all the time. We have to call back, to make the connection. (see the last post about calling HaShem through Torah.)

dancing breath

Once again, I return to my favorite topic, tefillah (תפילה) or prayer.

כרבי יוחנן דא"ר יוחנן ולואי שיתפלל אדם כל היום כולו למה שאין תפילה מפסדת
Like Rabi Yochanan, who says: would it were that man would pray throughout the entire day, why? because prayer is never lost.
תלמוד ירושלמי ברכות א:א - Talmud Yerushalmi Berachot 1:1

Prayer is a form of connecting with HaShem. We can actually see why it is that Rabi Yochanan is the one who make's this claim. Rebbe Nachman says (Likkutei Moharan I:34) that one has to connect the uniqueness of each individual Jew (including the uniqueness of the collective) to the heart, in order to bring out God's kindness, to bring down blessing. He says that the point of uniqueness is the letter yud (י) the first letter of Rabi Yochanan's name. The heart, he says, is represented by the letter vav (ו) which we can see, happens to be the second letter of Rabi Yochanan's name. The remainder of his name is חנן beseeching, a word for prayer. So Rabi Yochanan's name embodies the nature of prayer according to Rebbe Nachman.

This kind of connection, this kind of constant searching for any connection with God, in everything in existence, this finding of that point from which we can jump from that thing back to God, that is the essence of prayer.

Would it were that man would spend all his days searching out these points of light in each and every thing, each and every person, each and every place, that he encounters. This is what the Notzer Hesed is talking about as well, when he says praying all day actually refers to performing yichudim (unifications) all day long.

[The Maor Eynayim might explain the first word of Parashath ואתחנן the same way, that moshe connected all the letters, from alef (א) to tav (ת) in his prayers to God.]

What is the purpose of this tefillah? One of the main purposes, is to enjoy our relationship to God, to experience HaShem, to grow closer to Him. Just as we talk out of respect to our parents but also in humor in mutual enjoyment, part of our prayers to God must be this mutual enjoyment. Prayer is saying pleasing things to God, as we say in the kavanah before all mitzwoth, לעשות נחת רוח ליוצרנו - to please our creator. The part of any mitzwah that is the desire to please God, and the joy we share with him in our performance, is tefillah. The dialog of our lives, that the Baal Shem Tov said is the total of our existence, this is tefillah.

The more we enjoy praying, the more HaShem enjoys our prayers. כמים הפנים אל הפנים (when we are happy speaking to someone it arouses similar feelings in that person as well. So too all the moreso with God, who loves us and cares for us always.) Be aware that this relationship has to be pure, with no ulterior motivations, (including the motivation to get high on God, instead of getting high to be with God.) otherwise who knows how far it can rip us away from our goal, before we even realize it, HaShem yishmor!.

From here we get to a place of the desire to make HaShem happy, לשעשע. Here we get to the story of David HaMelech who danced before the ארון הקודש. (the ark of the covenant) His wife, Michal, didn't understand the pure abandon of David who danced out of the pure desire to please his Father, his King, his Creator. [I have a nephew who enjoys moving, you can see when he moves that he is half-dancing simply because it's fun to move, a simple prayer to God from the breath of a baby] Michal, instead saw the dancing and thought it was low and petty, beneath the royalty of David HaMelech's position. She didn't know it was the highest prayer.

Rebbe Nachman has a very short Torah at the heart of his sefer Likkutei Moharan, I:32. (לב is heart, and its gematria is 32) It's been on my mind, why that Torah was chosen as the heart of all of his Torah. This morning when I actually completed the circuit between dancing and prayer, finally got to some simple beginnings of understanding that David HaMelech was praying with all of his being, that I understood why it was that Likkutei Moharan at its heart mentions two things. Prayer and Dancing.

Raising up our voices is high, we can alight to the supernal realms. Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan talks about the various forms of Jewish meditation through song or speech that would allow Kabbalists to rise through the heavenly halls. But our voices are too thin, too ethereal to really bring God down here. We have bodies that are thick with physicality, dirty with grime and sweat. Our bodies, when we use them to pray, we make a real dwelling place for God in the darkest, rankest places of creation. We are dust and ashes, injected with holy breath. The breath and the dust are most at one, most united in serving HaShem in our dancing for His joy, to please Him at His creation.

All of our prayers should be like David HaMelech's dancing, wherever we are, whatever we are involved in, our bodies can be doing the same motions, the very same actions, but with completely different intent, we can be dancing and praying on the inside, until we get to the end of tehillim and כל הנשמה תהלל י-ה הללוי-ה! (all of our breath is praise to God)

two is really just one

Keeping two Shabbatot is a famous issue, the Talmud said (almost a thousand years ago) that if (all) Bnei Yisrael would keep two (consecutive) Shabbatot, they would immediately be redeemed and the exile would be brought to an end.

Seeing as how almost a thousand years have passed and that hasn't happened yet, it's not as easy as it seems.

There have been many explanations of exactly what Two Shabbatot mean. Here I will bring down a brief version of the Maor Eynayim's explanation.

The Maor Eynayim, as we've mentioned in a number of posts recently, [1] [2] [3] explains that Shabbath observance has two major components, Shabbath itself, and the six days of the week preceding the Shabbath. If we don't put in the effort on the six workdays, we can't connect to the essential nature of Shabbath on the seventh day.

What kind of effort are we talking about? Performing our actions with emunah or certain faith in God's complete dominion over the world around us. Everything we do during the week, from the most mundane to the most spiritual, it all needs to be performed with equal devotion to God, recognising that God equally fills all the world with His Light. This recognition mean honesty in business dealings, compassion and empathy in relationships, selflessness in lending and charity, prayer in earnest, eating pragmatically to gain strength to serve your creator.

Basically devoting all of one's time and energy that is un-proscribed already in particular mitzwoth to the recognition and revellation of God through your True piety. We are not talking about acting in a manner which seems holy, we are talking about true dedication to the reality of something bigger than yourself.

This is the first Shabbath, this is the body, or the vessel.

The second Shabbath, is the observance of Shabbath itself, witholding from all the forebidden activities (the 39 melachoth and their derivatives) and internalizing the next deeper level-That not only does God permeate everything and everywhere, but that he will actually provide for all your needs on Shabbath. This complete and utter relinquishment of all your basic needs in light of your faith in God allows you to receive the infinite light of Shabbath.

This is the second of the two Shabbatoth, this is the soul within the body, or the light within the vessel.

We see from the Maor Eynayim, that through one properly observed seven-day week, we can attain the redemption.

May it be speedily in our days.

letter infusion

כל המענג את השבת, נותנין לו נחלה בלי מצרים - Every one who enjoys the Shabbath, they give him a settlement without boundaries.

The Maor Eynayim (פרשת ויקהל) explains this statement in the Talmud as follows: Anyone who, through their labor during the six weekdays, brings the joy of Shabbath into the letters (המענג א"ת - brings joy from א aleph to ת tav) of their prayers, they receive the supernal joy of limitless proportions.

This is all rooted of course in the last two posts regarding Shabbath: which explained how the weekdays play into Shabbath, and how the intellect becomes boundless on Shabbath.

eXtreme shabbath

Keep Shabbath (שבת) once, and you've got it made. Keeping Shabbath includes working and striving all six days of the week to make a little space in our lives for Godliness. Then, come Shabbath, if we let go of any and all control of the physical world, reverse the six-day trend, our minds are freed and we can rejoice in the revellation of unfettered joy. (עונג בלי צמצומים)

This actually makes a lot of sense in simple physical principles. The best way to relax your muscles is to stretch them as far as possible and then let go. It also conforms to the extreme lifestyle--work hard. play hard. If we work hard during the six-day week, we can relax and enjoy harder on the seventh day of מנוחה.

But, still, why does doing it once mean you've got it made? The Maor Eynayim (פרשת ויקהל) explains that if you keep Shabbath properly once, then it sticks around with you during the following week, and hands you off to the coming Shabbath, all the while aiding you in your intense work-week easing your labors, helping you succeed. So, by the time you get to the next Shabbath, you've had another successful and spiritually productive six-day week, and you can groove right into Shabbath. Now you're on a roll, you've built up the momentum and objects in motion tend to stay in motion. Now, the week is a down-hill instead of an uphill and you can push harder, pedal faster, and you fly into the next Shabbath.

Rinse and repeat. This never needs to end. You can get higher and higher every Shabbath. Only you can get in the way of yourself. [That last part was a note to myself :)]

raising the roof

Every interaction of ours in this world, be it through thought, speech, or action is an oppurtunity to connect to the Godliness that permeates us. We are surrounded and submerged in God's emanations more thoroughly even than we are awash in the sun's electro-magnetic radiation. We are more tightly held than we are by the gravity of everything around us. There's no escaping God. But, we were created with the ability to be oblivious to it. Just as we rarely think about the oxygen we breathe, or the billions of cells that work together constantly to ensure a smooth solipsistic experience.

Whenever we make a choice in this world, that choice can bear within it the kernel of absolute Truth that acknowledges God's imminence or it may flaunt our God-given right to ignorance of the Truth. When we do choose to involve Godliness in our actions, to think in terms larger and less selfish than ourselves, we create a micro-haven for Godly revellation in our midst. The once-hidden Godliness in which we are all awash becomes a little more visible, a little harder to ignore.

The Maor Eynayim calls this work on creating a dwelling for God in this world: מלאכת המשכן - the labors of the Tabernacle. (Tabernacle (משכן) literally means 'dwelling place') This is the work that consumes us for the six days of the week. On Shabbath, if we did our work (during the week) adequately, we are only involved in הקמת המשכן - raising the Tabernacle.

On Shabbath, through our greater intellects, מוחין דגדלות, (limitless ahavah and yirah of da'ath) granted us on Shabbath, we can delight in the fruits of our labor, raise all of our weekly work up to its source in the supernal realms, heightening our enjoyment, ענג.

It occurs to me that the Tanya explains that children, who have small minds (without meaning to condescend) derive great joy from simple things, toys, candy and the like. From this we can apply the Maor Eynayim and learn deep lessons about ourselves. During the week, our intellects are greatly diminished and so, like children, we can find joy only in simple things. Things that are easier to grasp, like a joke, a workout, a movie, a bath, or more to our purposes: the presence of a loved-one. Only on Shabbath when our intellects grow without limit can we truly enjoy the divine presence, something far more rewarding (beyond compare) even than being with our most intimate soulmate during the week.

[Obviously when we relate to our soulmate, the connection with them on Shabbath is far beyond the connection with the very same person during the week--because during the week, we are (ourselves) smaller, we have less to give and are able to receive less.] (for your perusing pleasure, previous posts about shabbath)

clothes of the King

[I just wanted to discuss and illustrate a few ideas from the last post on what God's Divine Presence actually means]

Clothes serve two purposes, one is to protect you from the elements, but the other is to enable you to function in those same elements. In other words, a cave is better than a raincoat at protecting you from getting wet, but you can't wear a cave while you are out travelling on a rainy day. The raincoat protects you from the rain in a way that allows you a maximum amount of freedom to do what it is you would do, despite the rain.

Similarly the King's clothes serve the same function. The world cannot survive a momentary lapse in God's infusion of the world with life. Still, the world cannot survive if God's presence were apparent to all. Nothing exists in the presence of God. So, the clothes that God wears (k'v'yachol) serve a double purpose, 1) To shield us from God's revellation which would instantaneously annihilate us, and 2) To allow us to develop a relationship with God in a gradual manner that can grow greatly with time and investment of energies. (Just like all of our other terrestrial relationships)

Like we've said in a previous post the Hebrew letters are God's clothes. These clothes, the Maor Eynayim explains, (parashath כי תשא) that the Hebrew letters, through which HaShem created the world, can be permuted to affect changes in the world. Essentially, in our prayers, he says, we can permute the very reality of the world, through permuting the Hebrew letters in our prayers. Our words have the potential to recreate the heavens and the earth. (As the Noam Elimelech explains that this is what Tzaddikim do.)

We see from here, that the letters work just like our own clothes, both to protect us from the raw-undigestible revellation of Godliness, and to allow us to interact with that same Godliness in a more limited revellation that is tollerable to our human frailty.

I wanted to talk more about how this hiding of Godliness is more similar to an awareness so overwhelming that we are reflexively in denial of it, than that it is something actually hidden. It's like the light of the sun, for example. When sunlight shines on a tree, the tree is lit up and we find it beautiful. If we follow the light, back to its source in the sun, it is too bright for us to look at. We don't walk around all day accidentally glancing directly into the sun, in reality, most of the time we subconsciously avoid looking at the sun because it is too painful. Similarly (l'havdil ein sof havdalot) we spend most of our day subconsciously avoiding the brilliance of divine revellation. We were created this way, just as how our eyelids close involuntarily when we look towards the sun, we automatically blind ourselves to the revellation of Godliness that is unbearable.

The Shechinah is described as a lens that allows us to actually look at that Godliness, just as (again l'havdil l'havdil l'havdil) strong sunglasses make the presence of the sun in our periphery more tolerable.

So, while the clothes of the King, the Hebrew letters, allow us to interact with the King in a safer more palatable, less dangerous interaction, The Shechinah, and our relationship to Her, allow us to increase that interaction and remove some of the layers of clothing, in a measured and protected way.

No matter what level we are on however, the Baal HaTanya reminds us that this world is entirely special in that these clothes the King is wearing allow us to approach and hug the King, something we wouldn't be allowed to do if we were to approach the King in his throne-room with his honor guard all around him. Just like when you hug someone, you don't care about how many layers of clothes they are wearing, so too, we can delight in embracing the King, even if he is hidden in many layers of clothing.

the word of the King is law

I was just thinking today that I don't get the whole "לשם יחוד קודשא בריך הוא ושכינתה" (trans: for the sake of the union of the Holy One blessed be he, and his dwelling/divine presence) thing.

I know it seems a little bit shocking for me to have written all that I've written and then to write this, but it's true all the same. God's divine presence makes perfect sense, but what's the dichotomy (why do we always come back to seemingly two entities, male and female?) that we always have to think about?

I was going to go ask my Rav, but before I got the chance, Today's Tanya straightened me out:

והנה ענין השראת השכינה הוא גילוי אלקותו יתברך ואור אין סוף ברוך הוא באיזה דבר

Essentially the idea is that the whole world is constantly filled with God, however this Godliness is hidden. This Godliness is The Holy One blessed be he. The Shechinah, or Divine Presence, is a revellation of that Godliness which is otherwise normally hidden.

Whenever we have the intent to unify the Holy One blessed be he, and the Divine Presence, we are focusing on revealing the hidden Godliness.

This jives really well with what the Maor Eynayim (Rebbe Menachem Nachum of Chernobyl) says about male and female aspects on Parashath VaYera. He explains that a man's will is normally hidden and is only exposed through his wife's actions. Basically, Men or the male aspect represent(s) the hidden world, and Women or the female aspect represent(s) the revealed world.

So too with God's revellation in the world. The Male aspect of HaShem's revellation The Holy One blessed be he is the hidden godliness that pervades all. The Divine Presence, the Female aspect of HaShem's revellation, is the revellation of that hidden godliness.

When we take into account that the sefirah Malchut and The Divine Presence are one and the same, this becomes much more clear. As Malchut is normally associated with speech. Speech (as explained in many places including the Tanya) is the revellation of hidden thoughts. Malchut literally means Kingship and as we learn in Megillat Esther, the word of the King is law. The decrees of the King are what establish his kingship.

of singular heart

It's not enough to be a cardiac jew. (To love God in your heart.) You need to give wings to that love, you need to pour it out of your mouth.

That's what Rebbe Nachman tells us in Likkutei Moharan I:31. HaShem wants our prayers. He explains that the letters of our speach are just letters. The love that infuses them creates the nikkudoth. (vowels) The nikkudoth are what give the letters the ability to move. [The very beginning of the Zohar mentions that the letters are the soldiers the צבאות of God's name; and that the nikkudot and the ta'amim make them march] Rebbe Nachman explains that the letters are just bodies, the nikkudoth are the souls (נפש - nefesh) that give these bodies life. Our love of God is the spirit that fills the lifeless bodies of the words of our prayer. [This, he explains, is the secret of נקודות הכסף in Shir HaShirim.]

Rebbe Nachman goes on to explain that the way to this deep love of God that pours out through our words is only accessible via the emunah (faith) of Shabbath. (and Brit Milah, but it's out of the scope of this little post.)

I learned that last Shabbath, but this morning I learned in the Maor Eynayim on our weekly parashah (כי תשא) that HaShem constricted himself into the letters of the Torah. And it is through speaking these letters with דעת - while connecting to HaShem, that we truly draw HaShem out through the letters. This is why it was on Shabbath, when we have complete דעת, that we received the Torah. (and all its letters) [He explains that the word היכל hints at this: ה"י כ"ל - the ה (ie. 5) different sounds that our mouths make, ie. our speech draws out the כל - everything, ie. God]

Now, we the little people, can tie this all together and see that, through Shabbath, we can come to the proper emunah and da'ath such that we elevate our words to God through deep love of God, which exposes the godliness hidden in the letters of creation. All of this is connected to the Beit HaMikdash, (היכל) in the deepest sense because God says about the Beit HaMikdash כי ביתי בית תפילה - my house is a house of prayer. The Beit HaMikdash is a place to go when we want to connect to God through our prayer.

Even greater, we can go even a level deeper and understand this passuk to mean that God's house is a בית - word of prayer. God's most profound dwelling place in this world is in the heart-felt prayer of the Jewish soul. (For a better explanation of בית meaning word see this post on houses for dwelling)

[not coincidentally, the Tanya today talks about this very idea, that the Shechinah is a fire that burns on the wick of the Jewish soul--but it can't burn without the oil created by the performance of the mitzwoth, in this case the speech of the prayer.]

We find that Rebbe Nachman, The Maor Eynayim (Menachem Nachum of Chernobyl), and the Baal HaTanya (Shneur Zalman of Liadi) all are urging us to unify our mouth and our heart.

It seems to me that we need to be אחד בפה ואחד בלב. (Normally this means: to think one thing and say another, but litterally it means to be one in mouth and one in heart.) The אחד of our Kriat Shema needs to be in our heart the same time it is in our mouth.

God wants the bimbo in each of us.

The Maor Eynayim (parashath כי תשא) has a great little language lesson: מוחין - intellect/brains comes from the same word as למחות - to protest (to restrain is my personal translation, perhaps fraught with error)

This, he explains is what מוחין really do. When God reveals his light to you, you are enlightened, you are intellectually stimulated and it becomes far more apparent to you what is the correct vs. the incorrect behavior. Through the revellation of greater intellect, you are aided in the task of restraining the יצר הרע, the evil urge. By making you more aware of what you are doing, God is in essence restraining you from doing evil.

In a sense then, God much prefers when we choose the right thing in a moment of darkness, than if we behave appropriately when our minds are clear and coherent. Our darkness and our confusion make our good deeds that much sweeter. Just like seeing your child behave appropriately in a difficult situation without any outside intervention. (without your child even being aware that you are noticing what s/he is doing)

mysterious ways

Yesterday I spent two hours wandering around a parking garage looking for my car, completely bewildered, absolutely and totally disoriented. It was an almost Fugue-state experience, but I recognised it as God's way of putting me into situations I'm meant to experience without any higher faculties, essentially da'ath haNe'elam. (It's not the first time I've experienced it. And this time I knew it for what it was, but that doesn't exactly help.)

I couldn't understand for the life of me, why I had to have that experience, but I wandered patiently and completely exasperated, knowing that I was stuck in the experience until whatever I needed to experience, or whatever I needed to do was done.

I ended up walking around the lot looking at hundreds of unfamilliar cars on three floors of a labrynthine parking garage singing להגיד בבוקר חסדך ואמונתך בלילות (to speak of your kindness in the morning, and your faith in the evenings) to a modified tune of my own making until finally finally finally, when I had given up and headed toward the guard via a number of non-pedestrian tunnels, did I discover the secret floor zero of the parking garage where I had apparently hidden my car. (The parking garage is under a building and occupies levels 0, -1, -2, and -3. The elevators stop at floor zero, (if summoned from floor zero) but apparently there's no button in the elevator for floor zero--someone please explain this.)

It wasn't until mincha today, when I was learning the Maor Eynayim on parashath Tetzaveh, that he reminded me that last week, in parashath Terumah, he spoke about Mosheh Rabbeinu's passing away, which was histalkut hada'ath.

So, yesterday, Zayin Adar, (the day I was upset I didn't really get to have a proper seudah for the Hillulah of Mosheh Rabbeinu (it's the day he was born and the day he passed away)) I walked around, without any da'ath for two hours. I was totally caught up in the essence of the day, and because the essence was a lack of da'ath, I never made the connection.

HaShem's ways are truly beyond our understanding.

In case you were wondering, the Maor Eynayim explains that Mosheh Rabbeinu's burial place is un-known because he is a part (the part called da'ath) of every one of the neshamoth of klal yisrael. When we connect to the Torah, we are doing it through the part of Mosheh Rabbeinu that is in our neshamah.

smiling through the unbreakable barrier

Rav Adin Steinsaltz once told us that pursuing God is like racing through the chambers of the palace to get to the throne room. Each inner chamber is more beautiful, more wonderous, than the last. At each chamber, there is the danger of getting caught up in the beauty, the magnificence of that chamber, and losing sight of the true goal. One has to strive exceedingly hard to keep to the goal, seeking out the King and nothing less. We have to want the King more than anything that we might encounter along the way. (This meshes really nicely with the previous post.)

The Maor Eynayim on this parashah (Terumah) speaks, as we mentioned before, about the fall and rise that describes spiritual growth. He actually goes on to explain that life consists of two major falls and rises. The first is the fall of being born, and forgetting all the Torah we knew as a child. Then we slowly rise up again to the first level of gadlut, or great-mindedness, at age thirteen when all thirteen of the styles of Torah derivation (same as God's thirteen attributes of mercy) have fully vested. Next is the fall from the level of receiving the Torah and mitzwoth at age thirteen, bar mitzwah, which culminates in a more cycling rise and fall, a constant gradual growth through adulthood that never truly ends until the arrival of Moshiah.

He explains and quotes the Talmud saying that the passuk הנה אלהינו זה קוינו לו - This is our lord.. that we will actually be able to hold out our finger and point, because God will be so revealed, so present, that we will be able to see Him before us, face to face. This is only in the final rise in the time of Moshiah.

[This use of the finger pointing is interesting, because it comes up in other religions also (namely the gateless gate, a zen buddhist work, don't follow this link if you are at all concerned about being careful what you expose your soul to. zen koans are entertaining to Jews simply because they provide mind-bubble gum but without the burden of mitzwoth and the yolk of heaven that comes with Torah study. Rambam's Yesodei HaTorah says that there is truth and there is wisdom amongst the nations, but there is no Torah amongst the nations. I can't say for myself if the linked material has truth and wisdom, I would say it happens not to in this instance. If pondered one might arrive at some wisdom, but it isn't guaranteed, and anyways, pondering anything will ultimately lead to wisdom. When it comes to the world around us, it behooves us to ponder the wonders of the world and connect to the knowledge that is in every created thing (Likkutei Moharan I:1))]

If you want to understand what finger pointing is really about, Rebbe Nachman quotes the Zohar (correct me please if I'm wrong) in Likkutei Moharan I:24 That they asked him where is the middle (ie. the essence) of everything? (In response) He straightened his finger.

Rebbe Nachman goes on to explain the episode and claims he has added nothing new, simply explained the actual meaning of the text. He says that we must perform the mitzwoth with great simcha. (great joy and happiness)

When we perform the mitzwoth with simha, he says that the actual act makes the Shechinah, malchuth, rise up and clothe the keilim of halichah the vessels of movement. (namely Netzah, Hod, Yesod) These vessels, in turn, rise up and clothe the keilim of brachah. (namely Hesed, Gevurah, Tiffereth) These vessels rise up and clothe the intelligences (Hochmah, Binah, Da'ath) which in turn raise up to the level of Keter. Keter is the barrier between the Holy Infinite Light, and all of creation.

Rebbe Nachman explains that we cannot breach this barrier, but when we perform the mitzwoth with simcha as explained, and also with emunah. The emunah allows the intelligences to thrash and beat against the barrier of Keter, forming nine chambers ("beyond") the barrier through which we can experience some form of the Holy Infinite Light directly. (He explains the nine chambers as: the three Intelligences break into their nine component parts (since each actually has three parts -- something mentioned also in the Shaar HaYihud of the Mittler Rebbe of HaBaD, son of the Baal HaTanya.)

This, Rebbe Nachman explains, is what the Zohar calls, מטי ולא מטי - grasping and not grasping It is called thus because we are connecting to and knowing the Holy Infinite Light without actually connecting to it and knowing it. The performance of mitzwoth with simcha and emunah allow us some kind of experience that is beyond the realm of what can be experienced.

[How this actually really has to do with finger-pointing is still beyond me. Though in Likkutei Moharan he does claim to explain it, it is definitely still beyond me. At least, I can rest assured when the Moshiah comes I will understand, if I don't get there before then.]

What do we take away from all this. Pursue God wherever you are with whatever you have and do so with simple faith and great joy.

money money money

[More thorough treatment than the previous post]

There's definitely too much focus on money in the world today. We as Jews have a special responsibility to overcome this focus, and to put money in its place. Yes, taking care of our families is important. Yes, providing food and clothing and schooling to our children, are all vital. Still, just like there's a proper way to relate to people, whether you know them or not, which we call derekh eretz; There is also a correct way to relate to money.

If we think for a moment, that the well-being of our family, of our children, depends on money, then we are thinking about money the wrong way. We are creating illusions. The only reason we want the money is for the sake of the things they can attain, the things we think we actually need, food, clothing, shelter, comfort. Even these things aren't what we depend on. In fact, it is laughably easy, and horribly frightening to imagine a situation in which none of these would matter. When we feel the slightest discomfort of illness, our physical surroundings, the food in our mothers, the clothes on us, they all feel wrong, and bring little or no comfort.

As long as we put our faith and well-being in the hands of any intermediary, corporeal or otherwise, we aren't putting that faith and trust in HaShem. As long as we aren't doing that, we're still stuck in the animal-soul mentality, and we are giving in to the yetzer harah.

Rebbe Nachman teaches us that by putting our faith back in the right place, in the source of all of these other means, in the end and the beginning, in God, we are shining life upon us. We are only truly living when we are connecting the means of our existence with its ends.

He says that each member of Bnei Yisrael is (already) called a Tzaddik, because of his brit milah, so, all we have to do is capitalize on our potential.

Remember, we can go to work, join the rat race, do the same exact things every day, but just this slight (and fundamental) change in our perspective makes all the difference in the world. First change your thinking, then start to think about whether your actions need to change at all. Most of the time they don't. Sometimes we might want to stay a little longer in minyan, realizing that spending time with God in no way whatsoever hinders you receiving your livelihood from Him.

We might want to just focus a little more as the prayer-words blur by our eyes. We might relish stopping for minha in the midst of the hectic day instead of feeling the crush of its responsibility during our busiest hours. We might call our husbands or wives to say a few nice words (apologies, what have you) before we talk to HaShem, so that we don't have to make excuses for ourselves in our tefilloth, and don't have any distractions.

If we know in our hearts that we wont get a penny (or agurah) more or less than exactly what HaShem intends to give us, then perhaps we will approach each penny differently. If we know in our hearts that HaShem created the ends and it is within his power to 'make them meet', then just that little bit of faith we put in God, instead of weighing down our hearts with stress, will work wonders the world has never seen.

(based on my limited understandings of Likkutei Moharan I:23)

The Maor Eynayim explains (about Parashath haMan) that the Shechinah brings down our individual blessings, direct from God. In the time of midbar Bnei Yisrael were worthy to receive their blessings unclothed in physicality. Nowadays, we don't merit to see our blessings directly from HaShem, but nonetheless, the Shechinah brings our blessings all the way down into the physical world. Nothing has changed though, the blessing, the life-force (direct from HaShem) is still what nourishes us. Eating still has the potential to be a spiritual relationship with the Shechinah.

Lesson to learn: emunah puts food on the table.

sea-splitting

Just a short insight that I stopped to relearn today, from the Maor Eynayim. (Parshath Yitro)

He says that in order to serve God, we first have to split the sea of wisdom, the vast body of wisdom in the heavens. Until we split it, we cannot enter it and begin our journey in the service of HaShem. This, the event of the splitting of the Red Sea, coincided with Bnei Yisrael's splitting of the yam hahochmah, the sea of wisdom, and it was through this that they were able to receive the Torah only a few days after leaving Egypt and idolatry behind them. (Remember that the revellation of Sinai was a the highest level of divine revellation on earth. Not just anybody can receive that kind of prophecy, you need to be worthy.)

Anyways, it's a good thing to think about during Az Yashir in your shacharith prayers.

see the voices of the light in the letters of the world

Here's something that I've visited from a number of different sources, recently so let's touch on it a little. I always pay attention to Torah about the hebrew letters, so there've been some really nice mentions lately that I'll try and keep short and simple.

The Maor Eynayim explains (parashath Mishpatim) that HaShem created everything in the world through permutations of the hebrew letters. (Something that's mentioned in a number of places including the Sefer Yetzirah and the Tanya, and, I think, the Zohar) Anyways, the way these words were originally spun, woven, or organised by HaShem, they were meant to bring down blessing to everything in existence. That means that in its natural state, everything was designed for our wellbeing.

Because we are given the power of Godly speech, we have the ability to recombine and permute the letters of creation. When we sin, we do so (recombine the normally beneficial and healthy permutations) to our own detriment. (It's like how in a chess game, even though all your pieces are (in theory) at your disposal and meant to further your own goals, if you don't know what you are doing, you can actually trip yourself up; having your own pieces be in the way of the moves you might want to make.)

The Tzaddikim are the ones who take these tangled damaging permutations and return them to their natural (ordered) state of blessing. We too have such a potential, especially through our teshuvah we untangle the harmful letter combinations that our sins created. This the Maor Eynayim explains is what the Talmidei Hachamim are doing when they organize the mitzwoth and halachoth in an easily digestible manner, they are reorganizing the divine permutations back to beneficial springs.

The Noam Elimelech (parashath Vayera) takes this deeper still, by quoting his teacher (The R' Dov Baer, the Maggid of Mesritch, chief disciple of the Baal Shem Tov) that when God created the world, he had to (so to speak) remove himself. Where did HaShem remove himself to? The hebrew letters. He clothed himself in the hebrew letters. He brings the statement from Chazal that through the Hebrew letters God actually can enter into and be in this world. He goes on to explain that when a Tzaddik learns Torah and prays, with holiness and desire, then God enters into his very words and he experiences God through the words of his Torah.

In the past I've mentioned how we can put ourselves into our words and travel in them. Now we learn from the Noam Elimelech that we can also bring God into our words.

Lastly, we can see from the Sfat Emet (over at the Sfas Emes blog) that the sound of God's voice in his words is even more desirable than his words themselves. (His voice being his will and intent, the meaning, whereas the words are solely the vessel.) In short, he says that the idea of נעשה ונשמע - we will do and we will hear - means we keep the mitzwoth, His words, first, in order that afterwords we will be able reach the level of being able to hear His voice. (Which actually connects with our last posts about Rebbe Nachman and purifying the body through mitzwoth in order to receive our soul-transmissions)

To wrap up, the Sefer Yetzirah describes the hebrew letters as stones that are combined to build houses. So be sure to lay those stones straight, be careful with each of them, for waiting within them is blessing direct from the source. Even more than that, within them, if you look carefully, you can find HaShem Himself, manifest in this world, you don't have to stop at hearing the voice, you can even see the voices, as we did at Har Sinai, when we received the Torah.