Showing posts with label ratz. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ratz. Show all posts

30.10.07

the inside and the outside

Flowing with our previous Torah about David Hamelech's Derech differing from that of the Baal Shem Tov, I wanted to understand what connecting to HaShem is all about. It's a topic we've covered somewhat extensively but here we'll hopefully highlight a particular perspective.

We know that HaShem is described in two ways when regarding His relationship to creation. On the one side, He surrounds the world, on the other, he permeates it. These are two very different forms of relationship that only HaShem could pull off simultaneously.

It would seem that David HaMelech related primarily to the relationship of being surrounded by HaShem. The image of Succath David is a surrounding image. Being Hidden in HaShem's shade is likewise surrounding.

The Baal Shem Tov, from the other direction seems to want to embrace HaShem's permeating nature. He wants to be totally permeated by HaShem, filled to overflowing, wherever he may be in the world, without ever losing sight of this fullness.

This bears notice, when we relate to HaShem, which way do we relate? Do we want to embrace or be embraced? Or for the more demanding among us, do we want both at once?

Normally when we relate to HaShem it is either in the manner of ratz, running, or shav, returning. I don't know if it is fully clear which one relates to which relationship. It may not be set in stone.

I think there's a place for us to work towards and want both at once. To be at once overflowing with HaShem, and curled tightly in His warmest embrace.

16.5.07

returning potential energy

Hopefully, in some science class somewhere during our formative years we learn about potential and kinetic energy. It seems like some smoke and mirrors when they teach it to you. At least it did to me. What do they mean this thing that isn't moving or doing anything at all is full of 'potential energy.' I remember thinking thoughts like, "Well, until we get the energy out, how do you know it's really in there?" Potential energy seemed a lot more like 'fake' energy, or 'pretend' energy. [It's funny revisiting the thoughts of childhood.]

Anyways, nowadays we understand much more this idea of potential energy. It's the same as the 'purchasing power' of the dollar, etc, etc. Grown-ups deal almost entirely with potentials. Once the energy starts to be actualized, it's usually too late to channel it and do something with it. A major goal of adult life seems to be to become aware of potential energy early enough in the process in order to direct and control it's transformation to kinetic or actualized energy. That's what investing is. That's what strategy is. That's what long-term and even short-term and basically any kind of 'planning' is. Even martial-arts are absorbed with preparing yourself to be able to channel the energy at the last second so that it won't get the jump on you.

This is all summed up in the teaching איזהו חכם הרואה את הנולד - Who is wise? He who sees that which will be born.

Now, when we get into Kabbalah and Hassidut, something entirely different becomes immediately apparent. Suddenly they acknowledge two vital states in our progress. Ratz, w'Shav. (רץ ושב) Running and Returning. We run run run, actualizing all the energy we have, achieving as much as is within our reach, and then we return, we sit. When we sit we reflect on the running, reflect on our achievements, reflect on our place our purpose, reflect on our potential energy.

By breaking our work down into the two states of Running and Returning, it gives us a lot of insight into how the world really works. Everything works through Running and Returning, just not everyone is aware of it. Without the sitting, the Returning, we can't achieve very much Running and vice versa.

An interesting physical example of this is the Hurricane. Scientists are only just discovering that what goes on in the eye of a Hurricane, the calmer more peaceful area, is actually what really fuels the fury of a Hurricane.

Of course. This is something we know. The Running is enhanced by the Returning.

Still, it's nice to see examples of the Torah's deepest lessons underlying all of the framework of creation.

16.1.07

not-knowing - your way to the one who is all-knowing

דעת (da'ath - knowledge) is connection. Connecting to God. There are two kinds of revellation of da'ath. There is shining of knowledge and the hiding of knowledge. Both of these lead to understandings (connections) of (/to) knowledge. This is what the Maor Eynayim is telling me. (end of parshath VaEra) Let's try and understand it.

When someone asks you a question, they are revealing their lack of knowledge or acknowledging a more general lack of knowledge. Such a question can do two things: It can illuminate your own lack of knowledge--you don't have an answer to the question, or it can show off what you know, by eliciting a thorough and appealing answer. Now, when it's turned around, and you ask a rhetorical question, you are both revealing the lack of knowledge of the audience, and revealing your own knowledge of the subject at once. With a similar rhetorical question you can also highlight knowledge common to the speaker and the audience.

It just goes to show that knowledge can be passed on via hiding or showing, just as the Maor Eynayim tells us. (of course)

Let's see how it works a little in relation to God.

God doesn't ask us questions the way we ask eachother questions, instead HaShem simply makes things known or unknown. Since everything in our experience is a reflection of God's will, (Baal Shem Tov) if we don't know something, it's actually because HaShem doesn't want us to know it right now. The lack of knowledge itself is as much a revellation of God as the presence of it. Lack of knowledge is generally considered a revellation of דעת הנעלם. (vanished knowledge)

One more step though, there's two ways to hide things, one way to hide things is enron-style, too much information, absolute overload of sensory input, jamming radar, these are all examples of hiding in noise. (what we classified in an earlier post on puzzles & mysteries as a 'mystery') The other way is to hide the information directly, censorship, firewalls, stealth, etc. This is a more like puzzle-hiding. These two styles of information hiding require very opposite approaches. Hiding/puzzling requires a very sensitive attention to detail. Flooding/jamming/awe-ing requires efficient analytical filtering to remove extraneous noise and focus on meaningful signal.

God, being God, and knowing all the tricks presents us with every combination of both. Sometimes we are overwhelmed with God-experience or God-passion, at which point, if your heart runs, return to one. Other times, we are bathed in the cold lonely darkness of nothing, then we have to kindle the flames in our heart, run with all our might back to God. Ratz (running) and Shav (returning) are the tools available to us to circumvent and receive God's knowledge when he challenges us to see how much we really want to know him.

We want it all. Don't be shy, show HaShem. מי לי בשמים ועמך לא חפצתי בארץ -There's no one for me in the heavens, I've sought you out down here.

4.1.07

a flight-plan for prayer

Back when I was dating my now-wife, a year and a half ago, more or less, I would have a daily freak-out. Every day I couldn't bring myself to communicate with her for fear of discovering that she was no longer interested. (We hadn't been dating for more than a couple of weeks at the time) When I finally did hear her voice over the phone, I could tell by her tone that everything was fine, and when I hung up, I was in the clouds. But, making that first phone call was impossible. I would have rather died than have to make that call every day (just about) for the first few weeks.

The fact that I did make that call and that I'm now married to her, is in large part thanks to Eddie. Eddie was a friend of my roommate at the time, and happened to be crashing by us while all this was going down. If he hadn't been there yelling at me to call her and that she's waiting for me to call and wants me to call, I would never have summoned the courage to pick up the phone. Eddie coached and coaxed me from fright to flight on an almost daily basis. Sometimes I forget that and forget how much support others need during the crazy periods of time in serious dating.

In fact, I'm writing now because I've just realized how crucial coaching is in your relationship with God as well. We need mashpi'im, we need rabbonim, we need chevrutot. Otherwise, we have the anti-coach sitting there telling us "you aren't going to make any headway so why open the sefer? Look how big that sefer is, at the rate you're going you'll never get through it, I bet you don't even remember what you learned ten, even five, pages ago." Or "you missed minyan, you missed zman kriat shema, you missed zman tefillah, why are you going to go daven, God's not interested. Remember what you did yesterday? He certainly won't listen to anyone who did that, will he?" We need a coach, we need someone (it can even be ourselves--but that's an advanced level) who will tell us, "No. Go daven. Not because you feel guilty or because you should, but because God is waiting to hear from you, he wants you to daven as much as you want to.. He'll overlook whatever happened until now, he really wants to hear from you."

This morning was one of those mornings where I woke up late, then once I'm up so late, I start to wander around and do everything but daven. Why? Because I don't want to face davening by myself now, so long after I would have been done if I had gone to minyan. I don't have the energy to pray, to put in all the necesary effort--i'll just rush through it anyway whenever I do get around to praying, why should I subject myself and God to that. And afterwards, I'll just feel lame because of my pitiful davening anyways. I'll have rushed through everything.

Finally, close to 11am (i'm supposed to be at work by 8:30am, though we do have flexible hours) I started to pray.. and I'm like, wait this is great, I love praying, what was I pushing off? this is amazing. HaShem is right here waiting for me, what was I so worried about? slow down, take your time, who cares if you're late, it's God, and he's giving you some of his time. B'kitzur, it was a great davening, as it almost always is. (if I'm into it) So much of life is throwing off all the reasons not to do something, and doing it anyways. Because it's right. Because it's good. Because it's so important. So real.

Not everyone can just pray or knows how, there's so many misunderstandings, so many hurdles that we put up for ourselves. Everyone can just pray, but most people don't know they can. When you do learn to pray, it's hard to stop, but it's ok to stop too (we have to come down some time, ratz v'shav baby [and again] ). It can be like a drug, only better. But, like a drug, the ritual is soooo important. If you just jump straight to the main course, it cheapens the whole thing, you'll still get high, but you come down quicker and it's a less pervasive high. When you take the time and build to it, the high can keep you going all day--or at least till mincha, it becomes like a bird riding thermals, pure flight, day after day.

We can't get there though, unless we have a coach, someone to remind us that we like it so much, that it's so good for us, that God wants exactly that from us, and he's just as desperate as we are. As much as the calf wants to nurse, the sow wants the calf to nurse ever so much more.

[disclaimer: i've never used drugs, but not for lack of availability--if you think this disqualifies me from understanding them though, you apparently have never known a thing without experiencing it yourself--something that I have, often.]

12.11.06

on binah vs. hochmah (vs. daath)

My friend YodaYid said [in a comment to my post about too much focusing on labels and self-definition] many varied things and I will try to address each one of them in an untangled manner. First of all, I'm going to avoid entirely the definitions and meanings of english words, both because I don't like to sound like an intellectual (I know, who knew?) and because whether or not an english word means something has limited bearing on how best we, as Jews(hey look! he labelled something), should focus our energies. [Also, because anything I'd have to say on the matter would probably be wrong.. stupid mongrel hard-to-understand languages. ;) ]
  1. Firstly, the Rebbe Nachman quote, "ability to tell one thing from another" is by my best guess (without knowing which story it was from? Master of Prayer?) an issue of translation. It almost certainly is a poor translation of l'havin davar m'toch davar (more closely translated: "To understand one thing from another.") which is related to the idea of 'width' of understanding. In any case it leads me to an explanation of Binah, which I will get to in a minute.
  2. Secondly, he touches on the concept of Machloket or a disagreement as to the proper determination of specific torah laws (halachot).
  3. Thirdly and lastly, he brought up the issue of different modes and transmission of Torah, itself related to machlokot. (Well, he might not have noticed he brought it up but he did.)
I will try to clarify these points from a top down approach:

The Torah has two major perspectives, and many many others that are out of my scope. The perspectives break down into the written Torah and the oral Torah.

We learn that the written Torah has its roots in Hochmah (loosely: Wisdom)
and that the oral Torah has its roots in Binah. (loosely: Understanding) Now the written Torah is more static and less fluid than the spoken Torah, just as the written word is more permanent and less ephemeral than the spoken one. In essence, the oral Torah involves the application of the written Torah in a particular place at a particular moment. There is a lot more to the oral Torah, namely the codification of what the written Torah means and the study of the jurisdiction of the various laws.

Here we arrive at a particular paradox because Hochmah is founded in the nature of being simultaneously all-inclusive, whereas Binah's nature is to cut away and narrow things down to their essence. Yet, it would seem that the oral Torah makes the written Torah more, not less, universal. This is a misunderstanding. In practice, the oral Torah takes the one-ness of the written Torah and whittles it down into the ruling appropriate to a particular instance. The oral Torah takes the written Torah out of its universal context and places it into a specific subjective context. The oral Torah metabolizes the unpalatable written Torah, making it digestible. This is their nature. [An important side note in this regard is that Kabbalah is essentially written Torah, not oral Torah as one might think. Don't take my word for it, the R'David Pinto's Pachad David was the first place I heard this idea. I asked my Rav and He explained it more.] If we stop to think about it for a second, the Kabbalah itself has none of the practical applicability of the oral Torah.]

Now lets apply these understandings a little. Machloket, a disagreement of the applicability of a particular Torah law is obviously oral and not written Torah, because it deals with applicability, with subjective hypothetical situations. This is why throughout the oral Torah, the Mishna and the Talmud as well as all the later poskim, there are arguments where one truth is uncovered and all other opinions refuted. In the written Torah, Midrash and Zohar, all opinions are offered without any care for contradictions as all opinions are allowed to stand at once, however much at odds they may seem to be. Perhaps we can understand this fundamental difference in the nature of Machloket itself. There are two kinds of Machloket, those for the sake of heaven and those for other selfish interests. The Machloket of Hillel and Shamai, mentioned in Yoda Yid's comment, is, we are told, for the sake of heaven; whereas we are given other examples of less self-less machlokot. (That of Korach is the foremost example.) We are told that Machloket for the sake of heaven (out of the objective desire to know and fulfill God's will) will stand forever, unlike subject/selfish machlokot that will fall. In essence, perhaps because all the 'Machlokot' of the Kabbalah are by definition objective, this may be why they stand without refutation. Whereas the nature of Machloket in the oral Torah is to apply to a specific subjective situation, and so, all but the correct or appropriate opinion must be pared away.

Now, let's understand all this and how it applies to YodaYid's question:
One issue I have similar to chaim g.'s first comment: the Talmud seemingly has no problem categorizing Jews - Tzedukim, Samaritans, Hellenists, not to mention "orthodox" groups following Hillel vs. Shammai etc. As soon as you start enumerating the differences between your beliefs and those of others, you are already moving in the direction of classification. ...In other words, I think Judaism places a very strong emphasis on finding and creating structure. It's the wrong structures we have to worry about.
The Talmud, as I explained above is specifically involved in a Binah mode of thinking, a paring down of many potential applications of Law to determine which law applies in a specific setting. The Talmud itself is a codification and generalization of such a style of thinking in order that any student could reconstruct this mode of Binah.

Classification serves a purpose in the determination of one's actions day to day. But the oral Torah, the Torah of Binah, is totally informed by and inspired by the written Torah, the Torah of the unity of creation with God, Chochmah.

This was my goal in my original post. Not to deny the importance of classification and application of ideas appropriate to a particular occasion, but to reconnect that power of classification to the source of everything, to one-ness with HaShem. Of course structure is not only important, it is vital. In my thoughts on Autism post I stated more specifically that there are two major modes of functioning, ratz (Running) and shav (Returning). The post to which you responded, is involved entirely in ratz, throwing aside all structure in order to unite with God's oneness. (Though if you re-read you will see that I did delineate between good and bad structure as you suggested I should) It is in the shav mode that it is vital to return into the structure in order to affect (ie. carry out God's will in) the created world. Unsurprisingly ratz corresponds strongly with Hochmah, and shav with Binah.

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