wanting what we can have

I found myself learning the Zohar on olam habah towards the end of Hayyei Sarah, and I thought, I don't want to know about anyone else's olam habah. I don't want to know that anyone else gets to have such an intimate relationship with HaShem, I want to feel like I have something totally and completely unique.

The Notzer Hesed explains that the only way to the deepest levels of relating to haShem is through bitul, through recognizing that HaShem is everything and we are nothing, so apparently, I had it wrong, if I really am connecting to HaShem then there is no me to be selfish and everyone else becomes nothing less than an integral part of HaShem. How can I be jealous of HaShem being one with Himself?

Of course this is the highest level, but on the way, the Notzer Hesed says, jealousy can be good because it drives us towards an always deepening path to HaShem.
(perek vav, second essay on achduth)

Comments