Being a good friend is not easy. It requires a certain amount of selfishness and a willingness to reveal that selfishness. We need friends. For many people admitting our needs is difficult. It requires a public revelation that we aren't complete in and of ourselves.

Finding for yourself a Rabbi is exactly the opposite. Everyone is fallible and submitting to a higher authority is an act of humility, something that is admirable when seen in the public eye. Not so seeking out friends upon whom you rely. Friendship is balanced, you can't just be a giving friend, if you are it's not a true friendship. 

It's hard to open up our lives and make room for a friend. This is why pirkei avot phrases obtaining a friend in the context of purchasing. Just like when you buy something you are parting with cold hard cash, something of value, in order to obtain something else of value. So too, when you purchase a friend you are giving up a little privacy a little solitude, revealing things you might rather hide in order to obtain something else of value, true friendship.


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