time chametz

Reb Moish posted a great conversation about Becoming free. (Here's the follow up post)
(Here's a modified version of my comments over there)

Before we get to breaking out of the patterns of our life, what about first really recognising them?

I've gotten good at the life-fu of the day to day.. even making improvement in the weekly patterns.. but monthly and especially yearly patterns are so hard to connect to .. because it takes such a long perspective to even catch a glimpse of our real yearly patterns.

I think the Chagim really help us with this. For example I've learned the lesson that Pesah without family is always a downer. I tried to fight it for a couple of (miserable-pesah) years, but then I figured, if being with family on Pesah is what it takes to be happy on Pesah, then that's what I'll do.

But the ebb and flow of creativity and knowledge-hunger that ride over me year after year, interfere with normal human interaction, and interfere with a 9to5 job are still mostly mysteries to me.

I only started to be aware that there were even patterns like this when two years ago I started keeping a journal to get a glimpse of these patterns, a week into the journal, I dug up an old journal from EXACTLY two years previous when I had happened to start journaling, thinking it would help focus my energies and remember the valuable lessons I was learning every day. Apparently I have a two-year cycle where I decide to journal and track my long term cycles?!?!

I think only time and maturity allow us to grow to observe greater cycles. So perhaps, its important to first assess one's level, see what cycles you are aware of and break out of those.

(I used to love the cold and hate the warmth---one summer I wore sweaters all summer to adjust to the heat, now I love the whole year instead of half of it! The biggest cost was that my wife now grimaces whenever anyone reminds her of how weird I used to be (and still am))

So, also as to whether we have the tools to break the patterns of our life, we need the tools to recognise the patterns and the tools to break the patterns. The tools then have to grow along with you, if you recognise and break the smaller patterns, you will be able to wield the tools at the bigger patterns with more skill and accuracy. [After all, God put us here with the ability to grow and learn, fully intending that we will start small and grow from there.]

I'm looking forward to growing and recognising newer and bigger patterns, and breaking them.. perhaps years from now, I'll appreciate Reb Moish in a new light when I recognise more of the patterns he's broken out of.. ones that I don't (yet) know even exist.

Apropos of Pesah, I'd just like to point out that the patterns and cycles we are trapped in are an entirely different kind of Chametz in our daily (weekly, monthly, yearly, etc) lives.


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