return your exiles

Every time you catch yourself somewhere out-of-body, whether you are imagining a beach-side vacation or a hot cup of coffee at starbucks, or just plain wishing you were somewhere else, you are in a mini exile.

You are expressing a lack in the current state of things, denying HaShem's imminence and hand in the state of your immediate world.

Stop, and return from your exile. Recognize that whatever it is you'd rather be doing is, deep down, a placeholder for 'connecting to HaShem.' Realize that you could be, right now at this very instant, fulfilling that deepest desire, wherever you are. Connect. Return.

[for extra credit:] Next, realize that whatever it is you were in the middle of (while prefering to imagine some place else) is exactly what you needed to be doing, and where you needed to be to best serve your purpose of connecting to HaShem. What was boring or frustrating or outright painful is what can now be exciting and timeless.

Now assess and decide, maybe I should be doing something else? The answer might still be 'yes.' If so, go do it.

Don't make the mistake of thinking this kind of exercize will make you a shallow person, just the opposite is true!! Sitting around doing something mindlessly while you are busy dreaming about something else will definitely make you a shallow person.

polaroids of G-d

In the daily Tanya last week, the first Lubavitcher Rebbe explained how to ignore distractions in the middle of prayer. Basically it works something like this: (and if you take the time to really get into it, it really does work.) 

On a deeper level, you need reach the understanding that the distraction is also rooted in Godliness. This is pretty straight-forward if you realize that the distraction is not only being given life at that very moment from HaShem on high, but also, that distraction is actively given permission to distract you. Which means HaShem is imminently involved in that distraction which, in turn, means that the distraction is another channel of communication with HaShem. At this point, rather than being something that hampers your prayer, the distraction blends into the prayer as if it is perfectly natural and no longer pulls you away from your focus. You no longer hear the distraction at all.

This lesson gives you a very powerful tool to reassess your surrounding environment at all times, not only in prayer. The more you bring the awareness of HaShem in all things to the forefront, the more you gain control over yourself, the more free will you have to choose an appropriate response. As long as we deny the Godliness in a stimulus, we are limiting our capacity to respond to that stimulus. The minute we recognize its meta-worldly origins, is the minute we pull back and truly reassess. This is the moment of "I will turn and I will see [this wonderous spectacle.]" (Shemot 3:3) that made Mosheh Rabbeinu stand out in the eyes of HaShem, that made HaShem cry out to him with love, "Mosheh! Mosheh!"

From this we can see a deeper lesson that hits closer to home: The Godliness we see in all things is an essential part of our own soul. With each point of Godliness we find within the matter, we liberate another facet of our soul. We reunite ourselves.

In a way when we reunite ourselves with something that was previously separate, the world has, in a sense, become a little smaller. Every reunion breaks dow the barrier between one and an other. Until, in the envisioned end, there is only one point in all of existence, one tiny infinitely small self, surrounded entirely by HaShem. This is the root of existence, this is the root of the Jewish people. 

[And I think this is the root of the teaching: If you open for me an opening like the eye of a needle, I will open for you an opening the size of a hall. It's kind of like a pinhole camera, if you can focus everything down through a singular point, you get infinite focus over a span of time.]

elections are very turbulent times

Months ago I noticed a day was going very roughly. Not in the sense that bad things were happening, just that many trying oppurtunities arose to test my mettle. Later that day I realized it was the day of the Kadima primaries, and it became clear that because of the tummult the vote was causing, because everything was hanging in the balance to see what happened, that's why there was so much din, so much challenge on that day.

Yesterday and last night were the same. Sleeping was very difficult and the day was very trying, all manner of irrelevant things popping up to try and frustrate. At four in the morning I awoke for a few minutes, to settle the baby, and I said, if I'm awake and I'm sleeping so fitfully anyways, I might as well learn something. (it's always good to learn some Torah if you awake in the middle of the night)

I opened the Hesed L'Avraham to the lesson I was up to, and there he spoke first about Bnei Yisrael and HaShem, explaining that Shir HaShirim is a parable for the relationship between Bnei Yisrael and the Shechinah. Then he goes on to explain different marriage permutations, and what the ideal form of marriage is, as well as other details on this topic. The basic marriage is where the man represents hesed and the woman gevurah. If these roles are reversed or if they both represent gevurah it leads to trouble. However, if they both represent hesed then an even more ideal marriage can take place. 

Next, I opened up the Netiv Mitzwotecha to the lesson I was up to, and there the Komarna Rebbe explained that the reason why the six 'kings' originally radiated in the creation of the world failed to receive the divine light and were shattered instead. They weren't able to love one another and join together in the task, instead each on wanted to rule on his own.

Only when I returned to sleep did I realize what it was I was learning about on a deeper level: (I had completely forgotten about the election) Even though Edom is marrying Yishmael, (America chose a muslim as its president) their wedding is founded on gevurah (Edom is the klipah of gevurah) choosing hesed (Yishmael is the klipah of hesed) which is the worst kind of marriage, as delineated by R' Avraham Azulai.

Furthermore, their lack of ability to jointly work together (Edom and Yishmael) is why they aren't able to receive HaShem's light, HaShem's Torah. (as hinted to by the Komarna Rebbe)

On the other hand, Bnei Yisrael and the Shechinah are both rooted in Hesed, so they form the highest kind of union, the most ideal marriage. (R' Azulai didn't mention this as a summary, but it was implied from the seemingly irrelevant inclusion in the beginning of the lesson.)

I fell asleep wrapped in the comfort of the knowledge that HaShem doesn't sleep and always protects His people. That our relationship is an endless one, and the one being forged that night will not last. 

The most important thing for us to do is to grow in Ahavat Yisrael, for one-ness of the Jewish people is what allows us to receive HaShem's countenance.

even though its bad, it means its good

When you try and think about Bnei Yisrael, the whole Bnei Yisrael, (as much as one can manage) each and every individual, that's a lot of people. It can be saddening to think that most of those people are sad, dejected, bored, aimless, or outright depressed.

To this I offer a very simple thought to make you a little happier: 

Nobody's yetzer hara is depressed, sad, or upset. The yetzer hara doesn't really have that capacity. Which means, that every Jew out there who is sad, that very sadness is an expression of their neshama-eloki their Godly soul.

In simpler terms, it's only because of their tremendous spiritual level that they are so low.

years blending into days

I had a huge connection come together during my chevruta on Likkutei Halachoth. Essentially Rebbe Natan might have been spelling it out, but it hit me all of a sudden, that you can look at the schedule of the year just as if the whole year was one big day.

We have 3 regalim each essentially parallel to the 3 daily prayers. Av is the end of the day, Elul is bein ha'Arba'im. Tishrei is the beginning of night. Sukkoth is Arvith, (Maariv) the prayer of Yaakov avinu. Heshvan and Kislev is the deep of night, Hannukah is hatzoth halailah. Just as we awaken at Hatzoth to acknowledge the first promise of light, in the context of the year we light the Hannukah candles to fulfill the exact same purpose. Tevet, Shevat, is the early early morning. Adar is zman kriath shema, when you can recognize your fellow from a few paces--hence shalach manot to one's fellow. Nisan is netz haHamah. Pesah is Shaharith, the tefillah of Avraham Avinu.  Iyar, Sivan is late morning, Shavuoth is minchah, the tefillah of Yitzhak Avinu, at minchah Gedolah. Tammuz, Av is the dwindling of the day, 17 Tammuz is minchah ketanah, and 9 Av is shkiah.

I don't know if I have it all right, but of it all I'm pretty clear on Hannukah being Hatzot ha'lailah, which is definitely hinted at in Likkutei Halachoth, Hilchoth Birkoth HaShahar.

science of the exile

We've brushed on this topic in the past, but I found an intriguing quote from the Komarna Rebbe in his work Netiv Mitzwotecha which gave me new insight into the matter.

The Rebbe explains (Netiv HaYihud:3rd path:aleph) that there are two major states of existence. There's the outer status and the inner one. The outer is characterized by the initial static state of the universe since creation. In this outer state, all of creation receives exactly in accordance with its needs. The outer state is a meager state of subsistence.

The inner state is entirely the opposite. When the world functions according to the inner, or direct, state then HaShem provides tremendous surplus, astronomically above and beyond the simple needs of creation.

He goes on to explain that this inner state is a function of the work of our hands. We are capable of attracting HaShem's attention so that we receive in great volume, or if we don't live up to the challenge, still creation will continue to subsist, if not so glamorously.

Ok, this seems like a straightforward case of reward and punishment, but to me it highlighted something different.

The Komarna Rebbe explicitly says that while we are in an 'outer' state, then the world operates in accordance with the patterns set out by HaShem since the creation of the world. But, when we reach that inner state, then HaShem directly intervenes and provides abundant new energy that was not part of the original emanation that was creation.

To me this says: the 'outer' state is the ideal closed system that the framework of science so dearly depends on, whereas the 'inner' state breaks the closed system and G-d defies nature.

So, essentially, the development and progression of science had to take place in an exile-style framework. When the system is open, or in an 'inner' state, the ground starts to fall out from under the feet of scientific theory.

Until now I had never been sure whether Judaism held that the system was open or closed. How can that be? Well, the question is half semantics: there's no difference for G-d who is beyond our concept of time, to change something now (supernatural) versus at the time of the universe's creation. (natural) But here the Komarna clarifies it for me: Judaism believes unquestionably that the universe is an open system, yet in times of exile or 'outer' existence, the system functions like a closed system, ie. no new external energy is introduced.

This kind of sort of straightens out the difference of opinion between the Rambam, that there is nature, and the Ramban that nature is a series of repeated miracles, in that the universe is always (at its core) an open system, (read:miraculous) but there are times when it acts like a closed system. (read: nature)